Changing of the Site

Sort of like a changing of the guards, only with much less fanfare. :-)

For those of you stragglers, just a reminder to e-mail me at hamiltonfamilycircus[at]yahoo[dot]com if you would like a link to the new blog or leave a comment here with your e-mail address.

As of right now I am cross posting any updates that are Zack specific between here and there. That is the plan for awhile. The rest of my life will stay over there. Hopefully that means that any of you who don't follow, or come here specifically for updates on Zack will be able to still keep coming around.

Tonight I am taking the night off to stay at home, eat pizza and watch movies in my PJ's with Zack. I bought him some new Buzz Lightyear PJ's today while shopping with the rest of the crazy idiots and I have a feeling they will be a hit.

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend.

Tuesday Talks

Then the man put on his gloves and his helmet and he went in and got that other man out of the fire.
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I don't have a helmet.
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You need to buy me one.

Random Songs

Every single day with Zack finds me laughing out loud at least once. Today we were sitting in the living room. The TV was off, I was on the computer and he was playing with his tractor. Out of no where he looked up at me and just started singing:

Can we build it? Yes we can!! Bob the Builder!!

Glad to know he got my ability to have random songs running through his head as he plays.

And we're moving.....

If you take a look around you will notice that the Hamilton Family Circus... is now, well, the Hamilton Family Circus again.

Unwritten has now officially been moved. I have been trying desperately to avoid this move but at the end of the day it was the only thing I could do to try to get my blogging mojo back.

If you remember, about a month ago I gave this blog a new look. I changed the name and updated the design. I thought it would help me get back to me again but it didn't seem to be working. Every time I wanted to come to my blog I still had to enter hamiltonfamilycircus. The name was changed but the old feel still remained. So, I haven't been posting here, I haven't been reading any of my other blogs (at least not very regularly), and I haven't been commenting there either.

Then on Tuesday came the final straw. I received another anonymous comment. You know how much I love those don't you? This commenter didn't necessarily say anything mean. The gyst of their comment was that they had never been to the blog before but they were a friend of Jake's and that Jake and his family didn't care what was going on in my life and I should post what I wanted.

You can go to the post titled Stuck if you want to read the whole thing. Either way, the comment struck a nerve. If it was their first time here, why did they come? Our divorce has been final for almost four months. Why now? The timing just seemed a little to coincidental considering we had just had a family team meeting the night before.

And then it just sort of hit me. This blog, in this place, will never truly be just mine. It was started as our family blog. It is googlable as our family blog. People come here to read about us but there is no us anymore. And as long as it remains in this place and with people continuing to check in and leave anonymous comments I will never feel free to blog as I once did.

In moving Unwritten I have read through a lot of the old archives. I found a post about how free it felt once Jake was committed to finally be able to come here and write the truth. I lost that freedom when Jake and I started the divorce process and I have never been able to get it back. Something about me just continues to hold back and it makes me incredibly sad to do so.

I miss this blog and I miss being able to share my life with all of you. So, I'm moving. If I have your e-mail I will be e-mailing you the link. If I don't and you want to follow me please e-mail me (hamiltonfamilycircus[at]yahoo[dot]com) or leave a comment here with your e-mail address. If you ask, you shall receive. The blog is not private, or password protected. It's just moved. I hope all of you can come with me, losing any of my readers was the biggest reason I stayed here and resisted the move so long.

As for this blog, I'm not sure what will happen to it. I don't really want it to be come defunked but I'm not sure what to put here either. In a perfect world this place will contain updates about Zack for some of the people who don't come with me in the move. But.... we shall see. This blog has been my home for over four years and it makes me sad to leave it but it makes me even more sad to not be able to come here and be myself.

Hope to see you all on the flip side.

Blast From the Past

I'm in the process of working on the "big news" and in doing so have been going through some of my old posts. I stumbled upon an old post that my friend Jess had written two years ago on Gift Of Gab.

Speaking of which... before I forget, her blog has a new look and a new name. Katie and I did a little bloggy makeover... go check it out... it's fantastic. Just come back... please??

Anyhow, rather than link you to the old post I will just post it here in the hopes of bringing a little cheer to your Friday afternoon. Have a great weekend every one!!

I sth-feel th-so gooooood...

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning....

I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Khalua, a package of Oreo's, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Watch This Space

Sorry for the absenteeism... again....

Is there only so many times I can say that before all of you stop reading?

Is there actually anyone still reading??

Think of this as a place holder.

This space will be changing.... again....

I'll send out e-mails to those of you who's e-mail I have, everyone else... watch here for details. By this weekend everything should be done.

See you all on the flip side!!

Casual Observations

My mom is changing my bandage. Zack is watching. She pulls off the bandage....

Ahhh.... man!!!!

I guess that's one way to put it kid.

Update

Just on my way home now. Pretty out of it from the meds but other than that so far so good.

They said they got all of it out so it shouldn't grow back. According to M they said the scar is abt three inches longer than before. So I'm guessing about six inches.

I'll update more once I'm feeling a bit better.

So Friday it is....

On Monday I had my appointment with the specialist in Iowa City. I saw the orthopedic doctor on November 2nd to go over the CT results and he had confirmed that he still thought it was an osteochondroma and he still wanted to refer me to Iowa City.

Since it had taken a month and a half to see him the first time and 10 days to get back to see him the second time I was fairly surprised when they called me first thing Wednesday morning and told me that I had an appointment at 8:45 on Monday.

So... bright and early Monday morning my mom, Zack and I all loaded into the car and made the drive to Iowa City. While my appointment was at 8:45 it was close to 9:00 before I finished with the survey they make you fill out and after 10:00 before the doctor came in to see me.

He looked at the X-ray and the CT and told me that he concurred that it was an osteochondroma and that the only way to help with my pain would be for me to have surgery and remove the tumor. Because of where it is and what it is arthroscopic surgery was not an option so they will use my existing scar and then lengthen it a bit.

They will have to cut a few of the tendons that hold the muscles in place so they can lift up my shoulder blade and get the full tumor out. This should insure that it will not grow back again.

Any questions?

Nope... pretty much what I expected.

So... how does Friday work for you?

Like THIS Friday? As in 4 days from now??

So... Friday it is......

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday dear Daddy!

Happy Birthday to you!!

Feeling Grateful

**Link Fixed**

Hostage Situation Turns Deadly, Officer Shot

A woman was found dead inside an apartment after a man with a shotgun held Des Moines police at bay for more than an hour on Wednesday afternoon.

This story makes me more grateful for my life than I could ever explain.

Let's Hope We Don't Have to do THAT Again Anytime Soon!!

Yesterday I sent Zack back to daycare. It was the first time he had been back in a week. One solid week of moaning and crying and coughing and refusing to eat and crying and coughing and whining and oh... did I mention there was some moaning and crying with a side of whining??

Somewhere in the back of my mind I had myself convinced that because he was almost three and SOO active that he would just bounce right back from this. I thought I would take off Tuesday for the surgery, Wednesday to let him sleep a bit and by Thursday he would be playing at my parents house.

HA!!

No such luck. Wednesday he laid in a chair in our living room all day coughing and moaning and crying. I finally got him to lay down for a nap about 1:00 and he slept for 3 1/2 almost 4 hours. There was NO food intake and I was forcing him to drink by putting water into a syringe and squirting it into his mouth.

So, I took Thursday off of work and stayed home with him again. He was a bit better, although not by much. He acted like I was trying to kill him when I made him drink a bit of broth from chicken noodle soup. But amazingly he was just fine when he wanted to eat part of a Hershey's bar.

Friday I took him to my parents house. My mom finally got him to eat part of a donut on Friday morning but that was it. All he ate all day and there was a 3 1/2 hour nap in there too.

Saturday was much of the same except when he woke up about 6:30 on Saturday night he wanted pizza. Knowing that it would probably hurt his throat if it was too hard I opted for the softest pizza I could find and he ate half a piece before lying back in the chair to commence with the moaning and the coughing.

Sunday he was back to not eating anything and he also spiked a low grade fever. By Sunday evening I was pretty sure he was just going to become anorexic on me and that would be that. M came over and I'm not sure what we were talking about but at one point we mentioned something and all of the sudden Zack looked over and said, "I want a cheeseburger."

So, M went and got cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets and Zack sat down and ate 4 chicken nuggets and some french fries.

Monday I kept him home just to give him one more day to recover and he seemed to be doing fairly well so yesterday back to daycare he went.

I think last night was the first night he was finally mostly back to himself. He ate some spaghetti and passed out at 7:00. It was 7:00 this morning before I heard a peep out of him. Considering we have been up at least once to 10 times every night with him coughing and crying and carrying on, I actually had to check to make sure he was still breathing when I woke up at 6:15 and realized he hadn't been up.

Today the daycare called at 10:00 and said he was having a rough morning. Crying and saying it hurt. I told them not to make him eat if he didn't want to and to call me if he didn't settle down. They haven't called back yet.

I'm hoping that things are starting to get better. This has been a REALLY long week and it only will get longer by this weekend (another post... it's coming I promise).

Note to self, when the doctors say it could be 7 - 10 days before your child feels well again, they aren't kidding. It's just a good thing he only has one set of tonsils because I would not be volunteering to do that again ANY time soon!!

Droid Blogging

On Friday Verizon launched its newest smartphone. The Droid. From the moment I saw the first commercial I was smitten.

I have been going back and forth about getting a smartphone for some time now but I kept talking myself out of it. It was too expensive. I didn't really need it, etc.

So on Friday I decided I would just stop in to the Verizon store and see what all the fuss was about. AND... as you can probably guess from the title of this post you can tell how that went.

I love it. Can't imagine not having it. One of the best things I've done, just for me.

So tell me, what was something you indulged in, not because you needed it but because you really wanted it?

Brave Little Guy

We reported to the surgery center at 7:30 am

We then sat in the room for an hour and a half.

He changed into the outfit they gave him.
But kept looking at me like why are they making me wear this silly looking thing?

Finally it was his turn and he walked away like it was no big deal.
"You are the first one I've had all day who has walked back here on their own."

20 minutes later the doctor came out to talk to us.

30 minutes after that they let us go back and see him.

2 hours later we got to head home.

He slept in the car but wanted chocolate pudding as soon as we got home.

Then it was movie time.
He ate ice cream and two popsicles before he took a nap.

After he woke up he ate applesause and half of a nutrigrain bar.
By 7:30 it was bedtime and mom thought we were doing pretty well.

Sometime about 1:15 it all took a turn for the worse.

He was up every hour from 1:15 to 6:00. He would cough and then cry and then hack.

Finally at 6:00 I gave him another dose of medicine and he slept until 8:45.

Today has been bad.

He coughs and then whines like a wounded animal.

I know that this too shall pass but it is REALLY hard to watch.

He won't eat anything today so I'm just trying to push the fluids.

Hoping that tonight will be better than last night.

And tomorrow better than today.

WW: Cutest Farmer I Know

Happy Halloween... a few days late!!

One Surgery Down

At 7:30 this morning we walked into the surgery center not sure if we were going to be able to have his surgery or not. As it turns out, while his cold was bad his lungs were clear so surgery was on.

It was almost 9:00 before they took him back and about 9:45 before we got to see him. When the doctor came out to see us he was shaking his head still commenting on the size of his tonsils. He said that when they went to put in his breathing tube the anesthesiologists comment was, "How does he breathe with these in his throat."

So, now they are out. Along with his adenoids and his ear tubes.

He was pretty angry for the first two hours and then fell asleep in the car on the way home. As soon as I turned off the car his first words to me were I want pudding. So chocolate pudding it was.

Now we are sitting around, eating ice cream and watching movies. His next dose of medicine is in 10 minutes and I'm hoping after that I can get him to sleep for a little while.

However, he has, once again amazed me in his ability to bounce back from this. This kid is tough.

Medical Marvels

Apparently Zack and I are just a plethora of medical mysteries this month. I'll catch you up on the highlights because that really is all I have the energy for considering on top of everything else Zack decided to get a cold last night and was up no less than 5 times. Add in one time for the dogs and you've got one tired mommy.

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First up: Zack

Tomorrow he is getting his tonsils out. The comments from the doctors we have seen recently have included but are not limited to:

Wow... those are impressive and I do this for a living.

Can he breathe with his mouth closed?

Does he snore? (Yes, frequently and VERY loudly)

Does he have trouble swallowing solid food? (He's 38.5 inches tall and weighs 38 pounds does it look like he has trouble?)

So... tomorrow it is. We have to be there at 7:30 in the morning but I'm guessing they won't start surgery until 8:00 or so. My guess is by 10:00 my son will be VERY angry with me. :-(

On the upside we stocked up on Popsicles, ice cream, and chocolate pudding so with any luck I should be back in his good graces by noon.

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Next up: Fred (aka... the mass on my shoulder)

I had my second appointment today with the orthopedic doctor. His consensus is that it is a bone tumor. Most likely an osteocondroma which is non-cancerous but they won't know 100% until it is removed.

The CT scan showed a mass about the size of an egg that is rubbing up against my chest wall. So, bone on bone is why I am having so much pain.

My appointment was at 4:15 today and at 4:55 I was FINALLY shown back to the exam room. On the upside I was done and on my way home by 5:05 but still.... little ridiculous on the wait time.

Since it was after five the IA City doctor's office was closed so they will have to call me tomorrow to schedule the appointment. I would guess it will be another two to four weeks of waiting. Such is my life.

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So how about you? Any weird medical mysteries going on in your life? Or how about tonsil surgery stories? About how the mom was all worried about sending her baby off into surgery but all went perfectly fine and he was way better after it was over? I would very much like to hear one of those.

Duh Mom!!

I'm in the kitchen when I hear a crash. I turn around and he does it again. He hits the ball off the T and then throws the bat across the room.

"Zack what are you doing?"

"You throw the bat when you run Mom!!"

Remember when you were little and your mom would say we just can't have nice things!! I get it now.