Ok ya'll. I need some assvice!! :-)
Jake's one year sobriety birthday is in less than one month (March 21st) and my plan all along has been to throw him a surprise party to celebrate.
So yesterday I was thinking about this party and it dawned on me. So I send out all of these invitations and people come from all over to this shelter house that my parents have and they all stand around in the dark and then they yell SURPRISE and he's shocked and what not and.....
THEN WHAT??
There is a pool table, a shuffleboard table, and pin ball machine as well as two big TV's so that will keep about 10 of the 100 or so people on the guest list entertained. What the hell do I do with the rest of them?
We can't really afford to cater a meal or for that matter serve a whole meal our selves but it seems like if I'm asking people to come over I should be feeding them. Would it be rude to set the party time for like 7:00 so people can eat before?
And if they are not eating then what, per say, are they doing?? Do they come, yell surprise, and then leave?
Thank you in advance for all of your wonderful ideas!!
Friday, February 22, 2008
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18 comments:
Just a thought, do you think that Jake would want a party for his year sobriety? I know that he is proud, but does he want all of these people congratulating him?
Don't get me wrong if you think so, I will be there in line- but If I were in his shoes-- I would not want a party.
I wondered that too Katie...and even if he does want a party will he want a 100 person party?
Just a thought!
Honestly I think he would rather have a guys poker night to celebrate his one year sobriety! :)
Well, to me 7 pm is prime dinner time and a party then would definitely indicate food...but then again, I'm in NYC and we eat late. :)
Could you have it in the afternoon maybe? and put on the invitations "cake and snacks" or similar to be super clear?
Not knowing Jake I do not know if he wants a party.
But if you want one to let him know how proud you are of him - how about a come and go party. Be sure to invite the people from his "group" so they can also celebrate. Just state on the invitations that Jake will arrive at 7 - those that wish to be present to surprise him should be there no later than 6:45, if not please come sometime between 7 and 9 to congratulate him or drop him a note to address ......to show your support. Or something. Ask around your Al-anon meeting and see what others have done.
If you do think he would want a party, and there is going to be THAT many people... What about a potluck?
I'm not sure now what is going to happen. I called him and said something about his 11 months yesterday and oh by the way were you wanting to do something for your one year because if you were we need to get going on that and he totally shot me down.
BUT... his excuse was we don't have the money so I don't know if he's saying no because he thinks it will be expensive or if he really doesn't want anything.
I also would lean towards something much quieter and simpler. Family, close friends that saw him through, not a block party.
Also, does it have to be a surprise? I think a potluck would be nice, but this is something I definitely wouldn't spring on him...but I don't know him, either.
what a lovely idea and as i don't know jake it's hard to comment helpfully but it is quite an achievement and i can understand you wanting to celebrate with him .....how about celebrating with just jake and zak? a night away? family time? take zak somewhere special and stress the importnace to jake of how proud you are to have him sober a year down the line and how proud you r of him as a husband and dad? this could be a surprise as it probably wouldn't overwhelm him? is there something he's always wanted to do? fly a plane or some such treat? only ideas - ignore if not helpful! hope whatever you do, you all have a happy day! mags
How about just cake? I'm sure your mom could whip something up if she's willing. Or Hy-Vee/Wal-Mart cakes aren't that expensive either.
Maybe we should do a couples-esk thing "out" -- everyone knows what you all have been through and we are all very supportive. Maybe something without kids... and a fun evening out?
That is what I suggested Katie. I didn't say without kids though but I agree. I think we should go bowling or to a hockey game or something out. Maybe a schavenger hunt - LOL
I think that sounds fun!!
I would have to say that if you decide to do a schavenger hunt that I am HAPPY that Amber and I AREN'T there to pose for any SILLY photos like we did the last time...Damn boys! who won the last one anyway? Ok well I think that you could invite some close family and friends and say "pot Luck" if they want to bring something and then that way you all have some snacks and Jake will be surprised! I think that it is great that he has come so far! And I think it is great that you are going to let him know how proud of him everyone is! I wish we could be there!! But I love you guys and you can give him a BIG hug and KISSY WISSY from his sis, brother-in-law and NEPHEWS on that day!!
<3 Molls
I'd be all over the potluck thing. And I wouldn't make it a huge blowout party. Maybe 30 people or so? I dunno though, that's just me. I'm not a big party person.
I wouldn't invite everyone and their dog, I would make it more intimate than that, and if you don't have the money for food (no matter what time you have it, people will expect some kind of food) do a pot luck, but instead of a meal have everyone bring an appetizer so it's more laid back snacky stuff instead of a formal meal, much easier to pick up after as well!!!
You both have a lot to be proud of for the last year. Why don't the three of you make it a family thing. Even if it's getting a hotel room for a night and taking Zack swimming, having a nice quiet meal together and celebrating how much you have grown in the last year. I'm sure the groups at his meetings with also help celebrate his one year. I think this should be a "hooray for US" type of thing with your family.
Not knowing Jake but thinking this sobriety is still new and everything...but maybe a coffee and dessert get-together, maybe a few heartfelt words of praise, encouragement, and congratulations, a little pie, and off everyone goes...short, sweet, and special. Not too overdone, not too sappy, not too much spotlight on a guy who might be getting used to "real life" still...
But no matter what you do, you'll be doing it with love and out of pride in your husband, and that's so wonderful. Congratulations to YOU!! You've been amazing through this journey, and you're doing really well too it seems. So it's an anniversary for the whole family. Good for you all!!
I like that coffee and desert idea. Good one anonymous.
I vote for something small and intimate with the people who have been the biggest support for him. You could have a blank book that you pass around for people to write their affirmations to Jake - something he could keep forever and add to each year of his sobriety?
I think something big wouldn't be as personal as this whole journey has been.
Just my $.02.
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