Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Adjustment

Things are going along rather well at our house, considering the circumstances that is. Last Friday Jake stayed home and cut down some trees and did some yard work. It was LONG overdue and it was nice to have him home to do it.

Then Friday night we went to a meeting. He went to an AA meeting and I went to an Al-anon meeting. I was much more comfortable at this meeting and I'm not sure if it's because I knew what to expect or if I just liked this meeting better. Either way, Jake liked his meeting too so our plan now is to attend every Friday.

We also have a meeting scheduled for this evening so I will be interested to see if we like this one also. If we both like our meetings we may fall into a Tuesday, Friday meeting schedule with additional ones as needed. I really like being able to go to the same place but attend our different meetings. We are doing something together, but yet still getting our own thing out of it.

Then on Saturday we went and visited his grandma and had breakfast with her. Then in the afternoon we went to visit his mom. She was camping for the weekend and so we got to ride horses (which neither one of us has done in QUITE a while) and then we cooked our dinner over the fire. It was nice to visit with them and definitely something we would like to do ourselves once Zack gets a little older and we have a little more money.

Sunday found us a church with a very tired, very wriggly child. Note to self, do not skip morning nap hoping he will sleep through church. He will NOT sleep, he will just piss and moan and wriggle and drive you insane.

After church we put Zack down for a much needed nap and Jake and I headed out to begin cleaning the garage. I wanted to be able to get some things moved to the shed and some things organized so we could possibly fit the lawn mower and one if not both vehicles. Well, we got some things moved, but not much went into the garbage pile.

After about two hours we decided to call it a day and go to Lowe's to try to find some shelving and a cabinet for Jake's hunting stuff. We found what we were looking for but the prices on those things are NOT cheap.

After all the running around we decided to take it easy yesterday. Jake went fishing with a friend until about noon and then in the afternoon we took Zack in the wadding pool we borrowed from our friends.

For all of the running around and doing things Jake and I managed, for the most part, to not have any major battles. Unfortunately the manner in which he was returned to our home left a lot to be desired in the adjustment area. We still have a lot of baggage leftover that doesn't just go away because he's clean.

We both have to learn how to talk to each other and how to ask for what we need from the other person. These may seem like small things but for us they seem to be large hurdles that we are going to have to break down bit by bit.

Today he went for his outpatient evaluation and they only want him to come one night a week since he is attending meetings regularly. So now comes the process of him trying to find a job and us having to get his jeep cleaned out so he can drive it and we can get it insured again. The thought of him driving around again scares me to death but it is necessary. I can't continue to act as his mother. I have to let him "sink or swim" so to speak and this is the first step in allowing him to become the "man" of the house again.

3 comments:

Kbreints said...

Sounds like a very much needed "Normal" Family weekend. I hope that you continue to have those!

Shane and Jessica Olson said...

Yes me too...!

About learning to communicate...you can go to a couples counsler which is great or you can have "sessions" with some friends. I find this to be very helpful. Shane and I have an older couple we have dinner with every so often. First we are friends with them but second we value their relationship, friendship and marriage so if we have "issues" we talk to them and see what they say. It has helped tremendously. Plus I think it makes their spark flare if you will.....all that reminiscing you know! :)
There may be things you don't feel like you can communicate about without a fight or you may not know how to communicate, sometimes it is nice to have someone help you and direct the conversation in a positive manner. It has done wonders for Shane and I.

stella said...

Jessica is so spot on. Communication is the number one thing for any relationship. Sometimes it's not easy but honesty is never easy. I think establishing friendships with older couples is a wonderful idea. Let their life experiences help guide you. Many of us have been in these shoes. It can be a wonderful, powerful, learning experience that will help your relationship grow stronger.