Friday, September 07, 2007

To Tell or Not To Tell??

Jake has been interviewing for jobs this week and he has run into a problem. Does he tell them where he has been and risk them not hiring him because of it or lie to them and risk them finding out he lied and getting fired over it??

I go both ways on this. Yesterday he told the guy he interviewed with where he had been. He said that it didn't seem to phase him and that the guy told him that he can respect the fact that Jake had taken the time to make sure he got better. Still I wonder if the guy didn't just say that for the sake of being polite only to write NO WAY on the top of his application as soon as he left.

This morning he has an interview and when he filled out the original application he put that he has been working for his dad for the last five months. So, now he doesn't want to change that and tell them the truth. So he told me that if they ask he will just tell them that he is leaving the construction industry because he has a son and needs to get away from that environment. Sort of a half truth.

So which way does he go? What would you do? If you were an interviewer and someone told you that they had been in treatment for five months would you still consider them for a job or would that automatically turn you off??

Maybe the sort of position makes a difference. He has thus far interviewed for a grill cook position and a shelf stocker/truck unloader type position. So it's nothing where he would be handling large sums of money or anything like that. Does that change your answer?

13 comments:

Todd said...

wow just a bit a social commentary there huh? I don't know that a lie is a horrible thing. But maybe an omission of the truth? I do have to say I think the job he applies for has a lot to due with it whether right or wrong. I don't think that it would affect me if I was hiring him but I also have know Jake for several years and that makes a difference as well. I hope he can find a job he likes and can get along with. Tell him good luck!

Kbreints said...

Hmm... I think it depends completly on who you are interveiwing for and with. I think at this point, Jake needs a job- and if ther truth does not get him there, I would be lying through my teeth- it is not like (you said) he will be hadling money, giving (doctor) advise, nothing that he will be doing will be detrimental to anyone else-- on the the other hand, if he has to fill out a form, that asks him point blank about it. Then he needs to answer truthfully.

I know Jess will have PLENTY to say about this one...

and you-- you jumped all over MY HALF TRUTHS before. Hmmmm... Pot, kettle.

Anonymous said...

I completely think that it depends on the type of job that he applies for. This may sting a little bit, but I would think that any business who does any type of drug testing in order to get hired, any position that he'd have face-to-face interaction with customers, and anything he'd have hands on access to any money or personal information would probably frown over either scenario.

He's probably going to have to get one of those jobs no one in their adult life wants to start with. Probably nothing too high paying, that is often given to high school or college students. If he gets his foot in the door anywhere, then he can apply for other employment, either moving up in the first company or applying for a new job at that time.

If it was me, I would tell them the truth. As long as he portrays the last 5 months as him knowing he HAD a problem and did everything he could to kick it, I think that's going to look better than someone calling his dad up and his dad telling them the truth.

I wish Jake all the luck in the world! It's tough finding a new job... and even tougher when you NEED one NOW and know that may mean not doing what you want to do for the rest of your life...

Laura said...

I wouldn't lie. That could come back and bite him really badly in the future. Once he's caught lying and gets fired at a job, he loses a good reference and then has an even larger gap of time to explain if he decides to leave that job off his resume for future job applications.

I wouldn't be overly forthcoming about volunteering the information either. I would just try to gloss over it without lying i.e. "I took some time away from the workforce after my son was born to re-evaluate the direction my life was taking and focus on personal development" or something of that nature. But if for some reason an interviewer outright asked him exactly what the nature of his time-out was, or if he had ever had a drug addiction problem, I would not lie.

Shane and Jessica Olson said...

I understand the issue at hand - however....I think given the circumstances; that anyone would even entertain the idea of having Jake lie is absurd. Didn’t we just spend the last almost six months trying to break these habits? Let’s say we say sure Jake do whatever you need to do to get a job…. “lie through your teeth”. He gets the job but then during his employment they find out a little bit here or a little bit there etc. then Jake has to keep lying to cover up his first lie and….WALL-LA….we have fallen back into the very trap Jake, his counselor and Heather worked so hard to get out of.

Second thought…..Heather – weren’t you just pulling all Jakes criminal history off the computer for him to have? You are not the only one who uses that as a tool to “check” on potential applicants. I know we use it where I work.

There comes a point in time when Jake needs to face what he has done; Heather, Friends, counselors and lawyers are not going to be able to bail him out forever; this being a perfect example. If he lies about it not only is he saying it didn’t happen or it is “minor” but he will constantly be looking over his back wondering when they are going to find out. I would rather not get a job than lie to get a job and have it taken away from me because of it.

Jake has come too far to turn back now….he needs to face the music, be a man and stay honest! Jake can do this!!! He has talents and attributes that he could offer a business. He needs to just tell them the truth; that he made some poor decisions but that he is getting his life on track, he has a wife and a son that he needs to support and he would really like the chance to start doing so! He has great employment references and character witnesses that can back up his hard work and life progress.

That is just my opinion!

Shane and Jessica Olson said...

LOL - Laura that's great advice.

I can see it already though...Jake will have to have a cue card for that excellent phrase you just used! - LOL

Good advice though!!

OldMotherHubbardSharesAll said...

I agree with Jess & Laura. On paperwork I would say. "Taking care of family business" If asked in an interview I would say "I had a personal issue that through excellent councilling I have now got a secure grip on my life and am ready to prove to you what an excellent worker I can be." If pushed further/harder he can state that he's not sure how much legally they can ask him but he is willing to forgo that by sharing that he had an addiction that is now under control and he is a better person and will be a better employee due to the time off......they should press NO FURTHER - Legally I do not believe they can ask what the addiction was to or about but if they do "discover it" they cannot say he covered it up either.

stella said...

Amen Jessica. And I whole heartedly agree with Laura and old mother hubbard. Be honest but not brutally honest. The last thing you want to do is totally decieve them about his past.

Lynanne said...

I'd agree with OldMotherHubbard, Laura, et al. I was always taught that gaps in employment should be listed as "personal/family leave." If asked, (and he likely will be) he should keep his answers simple but not lie. He only needs to disclose personal or medical problems that directly affect his potential job performance.

Might it be a good question for him to ask his counselor? Maybe he could role-play the interview process with her? It would seem that getting back into the job market would be an essential part of his rehabilitation?

Connie said...

You should not have to ask this question. If your mind is questioning what to do, then treatment is still very much in need of ongoing counseling and time......for you too, Heather. Tough love talking here! Not only is lying wrong....it sure is hard to keep track of it all -- remember???????? You all have so much support, but we want to support the true, honest, hard working people we know you are. Hello -- your son will be old enough to copy your actions much sooner than you want to think about -- what would you tell him to do????

Krista said...

Yikes! I can only imagine how torn you must be. I know that you don't want to encourage Jake to lie. But you also know how imortant it is that he get a job. Frankly I think being completely honest will make it significantly harder to achieve that. I agree that he needs to be vague about personal and family time without actually lying.

MOM said...

Hello . . . Listen to your Aunt Connie. He needs to be honest and explain that he has made many stupid mistakes in his life and that he has finally grown up. He has faced his past and ready to move on to his better future.

Aunt Cindy said...

Jessica and Connie are right. NEVER lie. You Always get caught, sooner or later.
They are right about falling into bad habits that you have been trying to break.
Look at the positive side. Jake has 5 months clean and sober and is making huge changes in his life and attitude. These should be a good indication that he would be a good employee and perhaps try harder than in the past. Good luck to both of you. Jake, you look great. Keep up the good work, One day at a time.