So Close Yet So Far

8:17 pm

As I watched the clock click over to those magic numbers this evening my breath sort of caught in my chest. One week ago today at 8:17 pm my phone rang and my life as I know it changed. One week ago my baby sister, the one who I vowed to hate for ever but really will always love for all eternity almost died.

Even now, saying that out loud sounds unreal. Almost died? Really? Was she that close?

Yes... yes she really was.

Today has been a rough day for her. She wants things to move more quickly. She wants to be up and moving and walking and recovering because she hasn't looked back yet to see just how far she has come.

For me, as I was telling one of my co-workers today, she is a medical miracle. I want to run into her room and tell her, don't you know you are alive!! You lived and that, in and of it's self is something we didn't know if would happen last week.

But I can't. I have to understand that she is grieving too. She has lost a lot and endured a lot and for her, it all just started yesterday. We have had a week, she has had two days.

Yet still, I hope she can feel it. My love for her. Every one's love for her. We all know how far she has come. We measure her progress by the strides she has made, not by the ones she has left.

The past is gone, the future is uncertain but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.

Hold on to your good times Lindsay. You were given the present of today. You will get through this!!