First a small request. The people whom I'm about to vent about are my close friends and or family members. Please don't attack them in the comments. I love all of these people very much and so I will not tell you who they are to protect their identity. The things they have said, I'm sure, were not meant to be hurtful. However, I do need to vent about a few things, because whether they know it or not what they say hurts my feelings or just plain angers me (mostly because I am so close to these people and let's face it, I'm overly hormonal) Okay... nuff said.
#1) "I hope you are going to loose all of that baby weight before my wedding. I don't want any fat people in my wedding."
#2) "You know that dog smells like dog." (This is unusual only because he is usually showered 2-4 times a week and generally smells like shampoo)
"I don't smell anything."
"Oh well maybe it's a heightened smell thing with pregnancy."
"You don't smell him... it's all in your head"
"Enough you two, you don't need to fight. You know you don't have to talk about your pregnancy all the time like I do this because I'm pregnant, etc."
Okay.. you ask me how I am. For 6 weeks I have been hanging my head over the toilet or been in bed because.... HELLO.... I'm pregnant. Would you prefer I just say I'm wonderful. I'm been sitting on the couch eating bon bons? From now on... no mention. I'll just discuss with other people.
#3) "You know you wanted to be pregnant and now you're complaining about it."
"Yes, I wanted to be pregnant... I didn't want to be sick."
"Well, you asked for it. What did you think would happen. You need to just stop complaining about it and deal with it."
See aforementioned DON'T ASK HOW I'VE BEEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW. Oh, with a side of no one in our family including our mother was sick so I was not sure what to expect.
AND FINALLY... as always... I've saved the best for last....
#4) "So I suppose the fact that I've been hanging my head over the toilet for 6 weeks is all in my head."
"You're only sick because you don't eat right."
You hear that girls. If you don't want to be sick all you have to do is stick to vegetables and fruit. Oh wait... I threw those up do... dang the luck!!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
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6 comments:
Geez, it's bad enough when they come from strangers (and you'll get them as well), but from friends and family it's even harder to accept those attitudes.
And the first one? Lovely attitude to have. Here you are, pregnant with a long-awaited baby, and gaining weight to nurture that baby. And she's worrying about how you'll look in her wedding? It sounds so amazingly self-centered and shallow to me.
Ok all I can say is....
Screw it - it's not worth getting upset about! Really! Just laugh it off and think about the comments as dumb or stupid... then go have an ice cream, cookie, or whatever it takes for you NOT to puke the food back up again... and remember - they're the nutty ones (as said in the lion king... there is one in every family - two in mine!)
I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with such insensitive comments. Unless someone has gone through horrible morning sickness, I find that it's very hard for them to understand and sympathize. I've been told that I have a low pain threshold; I'm not eating right/getting enough rest/having the right attitude; and (my all-time favorite), "You're just getting good practice for actual motherhood." WTF? Motherhood involves me bowing to the toilet gods several times a day?!
I hope your morning sickness is starting to end. If it not, please know that it DOES get better eventually. I'm at 16 weeks now and I must admit that I still throw up about once a week. But smells aren't so bothersome and my energy is back, which makes a huge difference. Hang in there!
Mind if I add a few more to your rants? How about:
"Just wait, your life is really going to change..." Oh really, because I hadn't noticed that it had ALREADY changed. There are certain aspects of being pregnant that are just like having a newborn except much more difficult.
"When I was pregnant, I didn't have any morning sickness" Guess what? Neither did I the first time. It's not something you can fully comprehend until you've been there.
"I loved being pregnant" So did I. I cried when the baby was born because it was over too quickly. Maybe post-birth amnesia sets in for some people. Just because you are happy to be pregnant doesn't mean it doesn't have its uncomfortable (and sometimes downright miserable)moments.
I could go on and on. You're wise to recognize that your loved ones/friends aren't being hurtful. Feel free to vent here all you want. Maybe there will be a few of us who can say "Oh geeez, I've been there!" If we can't than perhaps we can learn something. :)
I think that I owe you an apology... I just read the "please do not attack this person" part of your blog. I must have skipped that part before commenting... feel free to delete mine if you are so inclined!
Dang our families & their lack of filter before they speak. Sometimes I think people think they are being helpful, funny, interested, etc. when it would be better if they just kept their mouths shut.
Oh well...it seems to apply to all areas of life not just pregnancy & can be extremely annoying. At least you recognize they are not being purposely hurtful...and feel free to vent away!
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