You know it's funny. I carried him around for nine months, I gave birth to him, I spent basically every moment with him for six weeks and yet when I'm at work and back in my routine sometimes I "forget" I have a son.
It still seems very surreal to me and I am waiting for that definitive moment when I won't be daydreaming and have to remind myself that everything is different. Just the other day Jake and I were going somewhere and we passed the new elementary school in our area. Zack was in the car, yet I still said that is the school that our children will go to. As if we didn't have any.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my son. The other night I had a dream that DHS came to take him away because I took him out in the snowstorm (who knows) and when I woke up I was filled with a hurt I have never known in my life. It took EVERYTHING I had not to snatch him up out of his bassinet and just hold him. So it's not like I haven't bonded with him.
It's something else entirely. I have had 26 years without him and only 7 1/2 weeks with him. So, I'm just wondering am I the only one who has ever felt this way? Did anyone else have to keep reminding themselves that there was a baby in their lives or am I just strange? Feel free to vote for the later... we all know how I am!!
Oh... and for those of you who are not reading Zack's site here is a little tidbit for you of baby cuteness. I plan to put a few pictures up here... just not as many as on the other site.
5 comments:
Avi has the same sleeper outift! I love those sacks!
Jake & his Clone.... SO CUTE!
We felt a lot like this at first too. Especially when they do do much more than eat, poop, sleep and cry. Pretty soon, though, the house will be filled with his belly giggles and little feet running about and it will be the times before you had children that you forget. :)
Just wait until he's more of a little person than a baby. Wait until his personality kicks in. That'll bring it home. I promise. LOVE the picture! So adorable. I haven't checked the other site lately because I've lost the address/password. Could you help a sista out? :)
What a sweet picture.
I'm the same way...I almost forget about my son at work. I guess that's what I have to do to make it through the day!
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