Friday, September 18, 2009

Friday Confessionals

I am one of the least confrontational people you will ever meet.

If I go to a restaurant and something is not cooked right I will NEVER complain. Soup is cold... guess I'm having cold soup. Food is raw, I wasn't really that hungry. Fly in the water, just pick it out... really... I grew up on a farm, it's ok.

This desire to avoid confrontation also spills over into my personal life. If I have a problem with something that is done or said chances are I will not address it when it happens. Instead I will just play it off like it is fine. Then I will stew about it for a week because it really bugged me and why couldn't I just tell the person. Then I decide maybe I should just let it go because now it's been a week, but it really bugged me, but it's been a week and maybe they didn't really mean it how I took it. Maybe I was being sensitive.

Which of course leads to one and only one result. They do the same thing again at some point because I never told them it bothered me and therefore what they don't know they can't change. Wash, rise, repeat.

I hate this and I am working hard at changing it.


Alan_Courtney said...

me 2 but it still causes anxiety when I have to confront someone. Like last weekend I took the dog to pet smart so they could grind her nails and all I wanted was a nail grinding. Well...I look at the invoice and it's for 16 bucks when it should be for 11. so something was wrong...I spoke up and they totally gave me attitude and I felt freakin horrible. And in the end I thought...why did I have to speak up, it's only 5 bucks, but I was right and they were charging me for a service I didn't want! So...I was glad I spoke up in the end even if it caused anxiety!

Aunt Becky said...

My parents are like that. I refuse to be like that. While I am NOT a bitch, I refuse to be walked on. REFUSE. And I always get what I deserve. Period.

Fake it until you make it, Heather. I have faith that you can learn.

Anonymous said...

you are not alone. There is an entire army of non-confrontational, sensitive people. Experiencing this at work currently and 1. people don't like it when you finally DO stand up for yourself, because they are used to/comfortable with walking all over you like a door mat. 2. it can make things stressful for a time. However, it WILL just continue on as is, unless you kick up a fuss on your own behalf. Remember all the energy you spent, draining yourself to "care for" Jake? Probably exhausted yourself. Take a fraction of that time and energy, and look after yourself. It would be so awesome if you did. I would do cart wheels and everything. Then maybe I could follow your example and try sticking up for myself once or twice. Sigh.

kbreints said...

um, yeah-- i am not like that at all... and sometimes it would be good to be a little MORE like that.

There is a good medium...