Monday, October 22, 2007

Counting My Blessings

I had intended to post today about some things that are going on with me and Jake. I'm frustrated beyond belief with the way the household chores are getting divided up, or lack of division. However, in light of some new information I have just gotten about a family friend I think I will leave all of my complaining for another day.

I received a phone call this morning telling me that a family friend of ours has gone back to treatment. He got out around the first of July and last week he left his wife and their three kids and did not come home for four days. When he did make it home he had lost his truck. I'm still not sure if he has found it.

This makes my heart hurt for his wife more than you can imagine. There is a part of me that is upset that she didn't call me, knowing that I would understand. However, there is another part of me that fully understands why she didn't. I can only imagine how she feels but if it were me I would be sad and embarrassed. Embarrassed that I had taken him back and he had failed yet again.

I suppose it is at this point that her and I part ways in terms of how we think about things. I am under the understanding that it was her husband's family that has been helping her in his absence where as when Jake was gone it was my family. Perhaps she is scared that if she leaves him they will cut her off.

I was lucky. All of Jake's family supported me. I knew, and still do know, that if he fails they will not fault me for taking Zack and making sure he is safe. Last time this woman's husband fell of the wagon (so to speak) she came home and he had taken numerous items out of their house and disappeared with her two boys. Her children were missing, dragged along with their father, while he took them to pawn shops and drug houses to sell the items from their house to get money for drugs.

Every day that I am frustrated with how things are going or not going as quickly as I would like I need to stop and remember how lucky I truly am. I have wonderful friends and family that will swoop in and take me away even if I am not strong enough to do it myself. They will help me to help myself.

I hope like hell that I will never have to use them for this but it is a support system that I wasn't sure I had until Jake left and it became obviously clear that it was there all along. So today, instead of complaining about my frustrations (I have the whole rest of the week for that) I just want to once again say thank you to all of those people in my life who have, and continue to be, there for me.

I will be spending the rest of my day praying for strength for this woman and her family. I have offered her a babysitter for tomorrow night so that she might attend an Al-anon meeting with me. I'm not sure that she will attend but I have extended the hand. It is up to her to grab a hold before she continues to fall. Also, if you could, please say your own little prayer for this woman I'm sure she would appreciate any kind thoughts you could funnel her way.


Kbreints said...

Oh I hate to hear about this happening. How wonderful of you to offer to her support. You know better than anyone how she needs it and how much you have benefited from your meetings. I hope that she accepts and goes along. I will be sending her my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

thoughts and prayers for all of you - for you, jake and zack and for your family friend and her family. xx