Thursday, October 18, 2007


Hello?? Is anyone still out there??

I'm alive. I promise. I've just been really busy lately. First I had a tax deadline and then I had another tax deadline and now... FINALLY... they are over.

So now I'm busy with...

Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Do you really think you need to do that?
Is that completely necessary?
I'm not fighting with you about this?


And that's just Zack!! :-)

That boy is in to EVERYTHING lately!! Now that he can army crawl the world is his playground. Of course none of the 20,000 toys that he has are good enough for him. No, he wants to play in the kitty fountain, yank on the vacuum cleaner, swing the phone cord around, bang the dog toys on the floor... you get my point.

We have attempted to block his access to some items but that boy is smart. We put a gate between the living room and the kitchen hoping that would stop him from splashing in the cat water. It worked for one day. He has now figured out that it might take him awhile longer but he can go from the living room to the dinning room to the kitchen and get to the water. So that's what he does.

On top of that, if you take something away he screams. I'm not talking about a little whimper. This is a scream that could melt the flesh off of your face. It's a good thing DHS is not coming anymore because if they ever pulled up and heard that scream they would think for sure I was abusing him.

Last night I set him on the rug next to the bathtub and started running the water. The next thing I know he is leaning forward and grabbing the tub. He then pulled himself up to a standing position to look into the bathtub.

People... I am SOO in over my head here.

It was so much easier when I placed him on a blanket and he just quietly played with his toys. Take one away... no big deal, he'd just look for something else. But now... now he has these opinions on the way the world should work and if anyone stands in the way of that he will let you know about it.

His new thing now is feeding himself. Last night I got lazy and was just going to feed him baby food. That lasted all of one jar and then the waterworks started. So I put the tray on the highchair and slapped down a few crackers and he was happy as a clam.

His favorites right now are cheerios, goldfish crackers, and pasta. (A man of my own heart.)

As for Jake and I, this week has been good. The week before, not so much. We spent an entire week at each other's throats. To the point where we honestly considered whether this was ever going to work. Then I went to some meetings and I talked to some people and he talked to some people and then his dad had a heart attack and it all sort of fell into place.

We sort of realized that some things were not worth fighting about and perhaps we could approach how we discuss things with each other a little differently. I am now more inclined to ask him if he can do things instead of just being mad that they aren't done. And in turn, he is willing to do more things now that he knows I want them done.

Also, his grandma had graciously offered to help us with a cleaning lady. At least the first time. She came last week and it is amazing to me how much calmer I am with a sparkling clean bathtub. Right now it is all I can do to keep the laundry done (Jake goes through two outfits a day and Zack is anywhere from two to six) and the dishes washed. Let alone picking up once and awhile.

It is amazing to me that for so long I lived with things as dirty as they were. I think a part of me just must have blocked it out. But now if there is cat hair on the floor my stress level starts to ratchet up. Before this woman came I was so stressed worrying about scrubbing the tub and the counters and dusting and it was NEVER getting done.

Now she came and she cleaned and dusted everything. She Murphy oil soaped my water bed and my dressers people!! She brings her own cleaning supplies and vacuum and she also brings garbage bags. The money that I save on those things will partially pay her fee as far as I'm concerned. Those cleaning supplies can get expensive. Plus I can spend my Saturday playing with my son instead of scrubbing the toilet. You just can't put a price on that!!

On top of all of that Jake and I are just communicating so much better. When I have a problem that I'm unsure how to handle I start thinking about what I've learned so far in Al-anon or I go there and I talk to people. They have helped me to find solutions to so many things and that has helped us tremendously.

This has been a really good week and so now that all of my deadlines are gone I'm hoping to get back to blogging about my life and possibly something else too. I don't know what. Pick a topic. What would you like to hear about??


Kbreints said...

Glad that you are back-- (of course kinda sad I need your updates even though I talk to you almost every day) It was sad looking at the same post every day on your site.

Keep it up!

KK's Mom said...

I'm so glad to read that things are well with you and Jake. There will always be bumps in the road, as you know, but it's great that you can work through them! Congrats on everything you both have accomplished!

As far as your little guy getting into things...I wish I didn't have to say it, but it gets worse before it gets better. I love my daughter with everything I am, but this two-year-old-thing is the most challenging thing I've ever done. Brace yourself! : )

Lindsay said...

Citralopram - $4 dollars at Walmart!!!! That little piece of cat hair won't seem so big of a reason to get so mad.

Heather said...

You're just all over this medication thing aren't you? You know some of us do survive unmedicated and we actually do alright. I know, your vergin doctor ears are burning at the very thought!!

Lindsay said...

Yes but you aren't surviving fine. Most don't blow up at a tiny cat hair. They just get out the broom and sweep it up or ingore it until a later time.

Shane and Jessica Olson said...

OH MAN....What is the maximum dosage they can perscribe for me Lindsay! :)


"Most don't blow up at a tiny cat hair" HA - Shane won't go to Jake and Heather's house because he can't handle the cat hair and every time I go I clean. LOL - We are going to need something a little stronger I think. LOL

Between the 3 cats cat hair, 2 dogs dog hair, snail hair and fish hair....I am going to need lots and lots of medication - maybe I should join a support group now.

Bree said...

I have to agree that it is going to get worse before it gets better. And when you think age 2 is bad, age 3 is even worse. I stopped worrying soo much about things. Aiden use to play in the dog's water at my parent's and I realized, I guess playing in the toliet would be worse, I just put a towel down by the bowl so noone tripped and got hurt. Once they get a little more self-sufficient you have to choose your battles. My husband picks at everything Aiden does, and tells me I let him do everything. And maybe I do, but when you stay home with them all day, you pick and choose what is important to fight about.

That goes with husbands too. Like you not getting mad at Jake instead you ask him to do things. I have to do this with my husband. I come home and he's done nothing, and if I ask why, he says because I didn't tell him what to do. So now I make a list. I think most guys it isn't that they don't want to help, its they don't know what to do. You have made a lot of progress and it is nice to see.

Shane and Jessica Olson said...

Man you girls are nice....

I think, if I can see the dog is out of water and food, and the sink is overflowing with dishes -we have no clean plates to eat off of, and the laundry doors won't close because there is so much laundry to do ... then Shane can see it to. Weither he chooses to do it or not is another story but I don't buy the line "well you never told me to". He's a big boy, he can see what needs done around the house just as well as I can. I don't have to remind him to mow the lawn or watch the baseball game at 7 pm.

Alright....I think I am done ranting now. :)