Ok, seeing as how we are going into the holiday season and several religions exchange gifts that is the topic of the day. Gifts.
Not the good ones. I want to hear about the AWFUL ones. The ones where you open the box and you are hard pressed to even know what the gift is, let alone what the hell you are supposed to do with it.
The gifts where when you finally get through the wrapping paper and into the box you consider throwing out the gift and keeping the paper. The ones where you sit there in stunned silence because your mamma always told you if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.
THOSE are the gifts we are talking about today.
THOSE are the gifts we are talking about today.
For my contribution I will discuss my Christmas sweater. A sweater I received about 6 or 7 years ago that never made it out of the box it was delivered in. This sweater looked like something purchased at a craft bizarre.
Anyway, when I opened the box at first I was not even sure what the sweater was. I saw these little wooden angels on top of sweater fabric and I thought perhaps the fabric was a separate gift. But no, alas, they were all one piece. Little wooden figurines hooked to this wonderful sweater vest in a lovely, old lady fashion. (Alas, I did not take any pictures and I have been unable to find anything on google that would even do it justice so you will have to take my word for it.)
All I could do was stutter out a thank you and quickly close the box before any of the holiday elfin cheer escaped. When I got home that box got put on a shelf in my closet where it stayed, tucked away, till the prohibition of...... (sorry... brief Annie moment)
Anyway, I felt so bad about throwing it away that the sweater moved with me, once... possibly twice. Finally about 3 years ago I was getting things ready for goodwill and the sweater and I said our final goodbye. I hope it will be very happy with it's new owner.
As a side note the next year I ALSO received a super fun holiday sweater similar to this one...
(which in case you want to buy it... is on sale at a department store near you) I didn't know who would sell such a sweater but I remembered her saying how this new department store had just opened and that she bought a lot of her gifts there. So I took a chance. I walked up to customer service and looked at the woman and said... do you sell this here. Imagine my surprise when she said yes!! I expected her to laugh at me and say no, no one would sell something that ugly. So I promptly returned it and every year since I have specifically requested gift cards!!
So... what is your ugly sweater/worst gift story??
3 comments:
The Life Strategies book and work book by Dr. Phil. My mom got them for me for Christmas. It pissed me off because she had wrapped some for my brother too and said she got them for him because he was such a screw up. I said "why, he's not gonna use them" and not only did HE get them but she bought them for me as well. I was so mad I yelled at her "WHAT!!!! I'm NOT A SCREW UP" and she busted out laughing. She thought that I wanted them.
That ties with the professional child's drumset that my dad bought for Joel when he was 3. It's still sitting in the garage where it was unloaded the night of Christmas.
It wasn't a Christmas gift but it was a Valentines gift! A gift to show the person you love them...well in the case of my Father-in-law...not so much! He decided to get my MIL an ice augger (however you spell it)...He got something that he knew she couldn't use but that he wanted! It was on SALE!! It didn't go over well!! But they are still happily married and I think about that time she started buying her own gifts!!
Molly
Um...hmm....okay, it wasn't for me, but here goes: last Christmas, my dad had a heart attack and was in the ICU for a week or so. And my in-laws, in all their brilliance, came to Christmas this year and bought him....
a generic can of nuts. From Walgreens. Because, you know, the fat and salt is GREAT on a cardiac diet.
Yipes.
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