Ovulation... more fun than a stick in the eye...

I'll admit, never in my wildest dreams (well maybe there, but no where else) did I think that ovulation could be SOO freaking painful. You always see those people on the movies who get a strange look on their face and then say, oh... I think I just ovulated. Those people should all be drug out behind the building and tortured.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm on Clomid, or because I have not ovulated in awhile but this is not something I am looking forward to repeating in the near future. (read: that damn egg better fertilize this month) It started out innocently enough on Sunday afternoon. It was day 16 and I was beginning to wonder if I would ovulate at all this month. Then the cramping started. It was mild enough at first. Uncomfortable, but I was at home and so I could just lay still and be relatively comfortable.

I went to bed Sunday night thinking that was unpleasant, but not horrible. Little did I know that the best was still yet to come. It was as if my ovaries had formed a protest group. You want us to ovulate huh? How's THIS for ovulation?? When I woke up on Monday morning, I was less than excited to still feel the cramping. As I got out of bed and began to move about it continued to get worse.

It was like really bad menstrual cramps, nothing like when I've had my infections... at least not early in the day. By noon I was somewhat concerned. I was having visions of baseball sized cysts rupturing and me slowly bleeding to death while sitting at my desk. Why didn't she go to the hospital? Well, it's tax season... she just worked until she fell out of her chair. I can see the obituary all ready.

So, I decided maybe I should call the doctor. The nurse seemed concerned, not oh my god you need to leave work right away and come here concerned, more like how about you come see the doctor at 1:00 tomorrow concerned. That made me feel a little better, emotionally certainly not physically. However, as the day continued I was wishing for someone to come and just put me out of my misery. If I leaned WAY back in my chair I got little relief, but that is not entirely practical for working on the computer. So, I tried unbuttoning my pants. That seemed to give me a little relief, until I realized that I could not just sit in my chair all afternoon and I looked a little ridiculous trying to discretely button my pants every time I stood up.

I finally got out of work about 7:00 and all I remember saying to my friend Danette was I'm sorry, I'm not coming over tonight, I'm going to go home and hope I die I don't die. My only relief came when I got home and finally laid down. As long as I was lying flat on my back so none of my internal organs were touching my ovaries they seemed to behave themselves. Apparently they are slightly claustrophobic. (Funny... I didn't get the memo.)

All night if I rolled over to my side there would be pain but if I stayed on my back or stomach, all better. People... I am a side sleeper, to say that it was a tough night was an understatement. Everytime I would wake up I was running through senarios in my head of how I could explain to my boss that I could not come to work in the morning. Finally about 6:00 I noticed that the pain had subsided GREATLY. (read: I no longer wanted to gouge my ovaries out with a dull rusty spoon)

When I called the doctors office at 9:00 to ask if they still wanted me to come in since I was no longer in pain the nurse just giggled. Well, I don't think you have a cyst, so you must have just ovulated. Congratulations. Why is it you only get congratulations after something horribly grueling? (i.e. giving birth, running a marathon, passing a huge test) Just once I want to have someone say congratulations you got up off the couch!!

Now let us hope we never have to do that again!!