Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Decisions, Decisions...

The nurse just called me and said that the doctors recommendation was to start Provera and then 100 mg of Clomid. I'm hesitant. What if I ovulate late? Maybe it's just not my time yet. On the other hand, if I don't ovulate at all then I'm two weeks behind where I would have been. Hmmm... two weeks, I think I can handle two weeks.

Here's the part I'm really having trouble with.... tax season. Any conception that occurs between now and the end of July will invariably find me missing some portion of tax season. We are a small firm, so the others could not pick up the slack for me being gone, they would have to hire someone part time.

This is tearing at me. The stress of trying to get pregnant is not going to kill me, it's going to be the stress of trying to deal with telling my boss I'll be gone during tax season. (Yes, I know I'm supposed to be relaxing!!)

Now to most of you this might not seem like a big deal but to me, it's HUGE. I LOVE my job.

Maybe I didn't make that clear enough. I LOVE my job!! Love like I could never imagine myself doing anything else. So the thought of possibly jeopardizing it really scares the shit out of me. When we started trying we always said, we would plan it around tax season the first year, but if it didn't happen all bets were off.

So, why am I having such a hard time with it now that it might be a reality?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I honestly don't know. Sweetheart, I know that you love your job - but they also LOVE you. And I would think that with the problems that you have been having that you would JUMP ON IT...

GO FOR IT... TAKE THE PILL... I would understand if your reservations were do to a medical side effect of this drug... but your job? I don't think so.

Unknown said...

Things hardly ever go as planned. (and in my life they NEVER go as planned - EVER) Take it and don't worry about your job. You will figure something out.

Sending good vibes your way!

Anonymous said...

Heather,

Not all things in life can be planned & your company should realize this...that said "Go For It". You shouldn't have to worry about your job at a time like this & as you said all bet are off when it comes to planning after the 1st year. _Good luck with your decision, I know you & Jake will do the right thing.

Lynanne said...

I agree - you might find that your job loses a little bit of it's significance once you have a child. Not that you won't still love your job of course. :)