Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Panic

I'm sitting at my desk working away when it hits me. My breath catches in my chest and suddenly I am very warm. My chest hurts. So bad that for a moment I wonder if I'm having a heart attack.

I get up, go to the elevators, outside for air. I sit on the bench, it is warm outside, almost too warm to make me feel better.

I stare at the ants scurrying around on the ground. My eyesight goes fuzzy. Suddenly I realize I'm not breathing....

I get up. Walking, walking will make it feel better. We are now a good 10 minutes in and I still feel like my chest is about to explode. One walk around the block and I'm starting to feel a little better. I head back to my desk.

I begin to work again but the dull ache is still there. I take my pulse... 107... is that high? Low? I don't know. All I know is it hurts. It hurts to breathe and I can feel every beat my heart makes. 45 minutes and counting....

No rhyme...

No reason...

Welcome to my world....

Are you really sure you want in??

3 comments:

Lindsay said...

welcome to the world of panic attacks that come from nowhere. Aren't they fun? Ativan has helped me

Aunt Becky said...

I hate panic attacks. I'm sorry, friend.

kbreints said...

oh, not fun :(