Monday, August 03, 2009

The Party

The party has been planned. It is Wednesday night.

It is
well actually
that's all I know.

Miss Jessica has planned something that she assures me will be fantastically fun but refuses to tell me about it. So what I know right now is it is somewhere in the greater Des Moines metro. If you want more details you will have to e-mail her at

Hope to see you all there!!


Alan_Courtney said...

For once I am sad I will be in Maryland. Otherwise I'd be there with freakin cow bells on! Just no strippers!

Jessica said...

Strippers where not anywhere in the negotiations. The only restrictions Heather gave me is "I'm not jumping off of anything". long as the stripper doesn't pick her up or fling her off the stage we should be fine meeting the requirements.

Alan_Courtney said...

Heather....I wonder if Ramon is available! I think Sitka Alaska would let you borrow him one night!

Beth said...

Wow real mature. A divorce party. For the woman/ex-wife/Mom who is so above partying it would be real interesting to see how you let loose! But then once I post this comment the blog will ever know now will we?

Heather said...


Actually the blog will know. I'm leaving your comment up, per your request. I'm really curious if you know me in real life or have just stumbled upon my blog and have decided that today is the day you need to make someone else feel bad about themself.

Well, unfortunately for you, I have been making myself feel really bad for 12 years so you are a little late to that party.

But you can get in on this one if you would like!! :-)

Yes, there will be a party, yes I will have a good time, no you will not make me feel bad about it.

I have had a SHITTY last few years and I'm thrilled as HELL to be putting it behind me so go take your shitty comments somewhere else because they are not welcome here!!

As always, have a fantastic and wonderful day!!

Heather said...

P.S. On Thursday, there will be a post up that explains a bit about where exactly it is I have been for those of you who are only getting half of the story from reading here. It might open your eyes a bit. Or it might just make you want to leave me more awful comments. Either one is fine.

I make no appologies for who I am and how my life is. You choose to come here and read. If you don't like it you don't have to come back.

If I say something that offends you I am truly sorry as that is never my intention. I owe some people appologies for biting their heads off in the past, those are coming in Thursday's post as well.

Again, enjoy your day. I know I'm loving mine!! :-)

Anonymous said...

Leave her alone guys let her have this 1 moment.

Bree said...

People have divorce parties all the time and Heather you definitely deserve to have one. People have graduation parties, wedding receptions..all which celebrate a new chapter in your life, why should divorce be any different? It is not like you didn't do everything you could to try to make your marriage work. Nevermind the fact that a party does not mean you are going to go out get drunk or just means you are going to celebrate and have a good time. Don't let anyone rain on your parade.

Anonymous said...

It doesn't matter if we find out about it Beth, her idea of a party is Wii bowling!

Anonymous said...

No Wii bowling cut loose and have a good time! Have you EVER done that? Perfect time to start! If I lived near your metro I would try to join... Pending babysitter and work Thursday morning! Can't wait to hear about it!

Heather said...

Absolutely!! Wii bowling!! I'm all about that!! :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh what did I miss? There were posts here 15 minutes ago that aren't here anymore! I came back for Heather's witty reply and its gone! Someone fill me in!

Anonymous said...

Haha I'm pictureing Wii bowling and strippers... That will be interesting!

Anonymous said...

Get over it guys the comment is gone! And apparently the poster too so forget it let's help Heather celebrate!

Heather said...

You missed nothing. People being rude. Trying to tear me down because they... who knows. Feel like making me feel bad today??

Look, seriously people... you can come here and leave shitty things and I can delete it or you can just go away and never come back.

If you don't like me and you don't like what I write here I'm not forcing you to read it. I'm not going to appologize for what I write.

I have been an awful miserable person for several years now and I'm sorry if you don't like that. Don't read it.

And if I gave you the information to the other blog and you like even less of what you read there... again don't read it.

My "self-diagnosis" as you call it has saved my life. I'm sorry that you don't like it. DON'T read it.... plain and simple.

Anonymous said...

Wii bowling and strippers! Count me in!

Look I can sign "Beth" too said...

I don't even know where to begin because if I were any more pissed off right now I would just say let's meet out on the playground at recess!
Part of me realizes how stupid it is to be that mad because this is cyber space and while we do know some of the readers; there are some we don't. The kind that are probably uneducated, definately lack empathy and tack and say all these big strong words while hiding behind anonymous or "beth"...yep those are the people.

I think both parties are far from innocent and I wouldn't judge your soon to be ex-husband for throwing himself a freedom party.

But since we read YOUR blog and are in invested in YOUR story it is easy to see your side even though I fully realize there are two. With that said....

This woman has been mentally, emotionally and physically beaten down by herself and her soon to be ex. She has been lied to and stolen from. She has endured the worst of the worst which she has been classy enough not to share here.

She always held the key to her life and her future she could have and should have left but didn't.

If getting thru to the otherside is trying to find one bright light for one night attempting to close the past 15 years of nightmares and hardship who are you to judge.

Go AWAY! I am tired of reading your garbage!

Beth said...

Make up your minds. Do you want us to sign anonymous or with our names? Some people don't have their own blogs and some choose to keep private ones, just like Heather does, and choose not to use the Google Account sign on. Maybe that's not the case for everyone and they just want to be anonymous. Where exactly is the harm in that. My name is, in fact, Beth. That's why I used it. Elizabeth if you would like to be more precise, but I have never gone by that name so why use it now. What more do you want? My address, phone #, SSN? But then again you didn't sign YOUR name either, did you?
You're right it is pretty stupid to be mad. It is cyber space. You probably don't know me any more than I know you. You want to beat me up for speaking my opinion on a public blog? That proves my point... very mature of you! But then again I wouldn't expect much from someone who chooses to take the high road and call me uneducated, considering I'm currently working towards my Master's Degree. And, I used big strong words? The biggest word I used was interesting and the one with the most meaning would probably have to be mature, so pardon me for being educated.
The point of my comment is that somewhere along the lines of the blogs, I read something along the lines that Heather doesn't drink. Heather doesn't do parties. Yet in another post there was a line about getting divorced and there would be a party with alcohol involved. This current post does not, but that's not what I'm going off of. It just seems a little cliche to me. I'm sorry, Heather, if I'm using lines out of your private blog here, but I'm just making my point. I never asked Heather to leave my comment in plain view, she rose above it like the strong woman that she is and replied and actually invited me along for the party! Mind you, I'm a few states away so I will be rescinding the offer, but it was put out there. Since I'm not attending, I did not email for details, so for all I know maybe it will be just Wii bowling with a small group and a glass of wine. Maybe not. I guess we'll find out, won't we.
The end of my short post was simply from the fact that Heather at times removes comments she doesn't like from her Blog. By all means, it's her blog, it's her right to do that. Personally, if that's something you may feel inclined to do at time, I would moderate my posts, but that's apparently not what Heather's chosen to do at this time, which is again, her decision.
Heather, I'm sorry but I will not lose your sites. I happen to read to help understand what my sister (Elise, in case you need her name, too) went through. She had a very similar situation that she keeps very hushed up about. Reading Heather's private blog helps a little to understand why sometimes she gets really quiet and just can't talk to people, or why for 9 years she lied to everyone she loved about what was going on in her life, and some of the family never forgave her for that, even as terrible as the situation was. I happen to have forgiven her, but with some of the flashbacks and emotions she still goes through, I don't understand because I still don't know the whole story.
Which is another factor why I was shocked to hear about a divorce party. That was the last thing from Elise's mind when she left her now ex-husband. And with the many anonymous women I hear stories of every Wednesday night at her support group, not once have I heard any of them even come close to mention a support group.
So yes, maybe my comment was off base and coming from other past experiences. And I will admit that between the 2 blogs maybe I haven't heard the entire story, but from what I do know, I still feel it to be warranted.
I'm sorry to rant on your blog, Heather, that's normally not my style. And to my imposter, maybe we're more alike than you think. We both came down on people that we don't know and will probably never meet without knowing everything behind it before we opened our big mouths.
Heather - have a great party. I hope I was wrong and it helps you in your journey. Have a great night, all!

Heather said...

Beth... thank you.... long winded... but thank you!! :-)

Some people have parties, some don't. Inherantly I am not a drinker. I stopped because I thought if I didn't drink he wouldn't drink.

Do I plan to get drunk on Wednesday night, probably not. Would it be awful of me if I did, no not really. I don't have a problem with alcohol, I was just always afraid of it because of what happened when Jake drank.

Anyway, thank you for the well wishes and for coming back to explain yourself. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

Lynanne said...

Whoa...I missed the comment party.

Just some general observations: You can disagree with Heather and state your opinion without the dripping sarcasm and attacks.

When you leave a public comment, you open yourself to the ire of others. Simple message: Be respectful and you are more likely to be treated with respect in return. Go off on someone and people will respond in kind.

Working towards a university degree does NOT make you educated, especially in matters not concerning your area of study. Would I claim to be educated? No. My life experience, university degrees, and what I know from reading Heathers blogs don't qualify me to judge her based on what I or someone else would do or has done in similar situations.

Beth, I respect that you backed down on Heather and tried to diffuse the situation. What concerns me is your hostility and continued sarcasm. You stated that you still feel your original comment is warranted. Seriously? What is your motivation behind expressing your opinion the way you did?

Finally, in the almost 4 years I've been reading Heather's blog, I've seen her attacked by more than one troll. Personally, I admire that she doesn't moderate comments and deletes only the ones that she feels cross the line. I didn't see what she deleted this time, but her choices in the past have been wise. The fact that she left your original comment speaks to this.

Hopefully we all can educate ourselves from what Heather has to offer in her blogs. A wise philosopher once said: "The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know."

Lynanne said...

Btw: I laughed so hard I snorted at the comments about Wii bowling combined with strippers. Make sure you use the clear, rubber "protection" on your wii remote though, please. :)

Alan_Courtney said...

we've got tons of rubber gloves....I can send alan over with some! But....he won't strip. Don't think you want him to! haha! Strippers and WII bowling.....sounds like a perfect night to me! OOOOOOO.....we can have a "little person" stripper playing wii bowling!