Sunday, August 14, 2005

All for Not...

Well, we didn't go. All that worrying for nothing!! We were up on Saturday in good time to go and for some reason Jake just looked at me and said, "I don't want to go." Now it's very hard for me to force him (or encourage him) to go somewhere where I'm not keen on going in the first place. So, he called Grandma, and after 20 minutes of guilt trips settled on the fact that he was not going.

Unfortunately, he did not have the nerve to tell her that he just didn't want to go, so he told her he didn't feel good. I have explained to him that she will probably find out that we went to the fair instead, but that is his problem to explain at a later date.

Of course after he hung up with her she called back on my cell phone to ask me if it was my decision not to go. I made him answer. He assured her that it was not my fault he was not going, but I'm not sure she was convinced.

After he hung up it donned on me that this is probably the reason that they think that it is my fault that he doesn't go anywhere. I have always made it a point not to butt in where his family was concerned. If there is a family gathering that he doesn't want to go to I generally don't put up much of a fight. (Granted, if it were his Grandma's birthday or Christmas or something I might encourage a little more) Now when it comes to my family, I want to go, so I argue a little more if he resists. When it is his family, if he says he doesn't want to go, I don't make a big deal out of it.

My guess is that this has been misunderstood as me encouraging him not to see his family. This bothers me for a couple of reasons. First of all, chances are if I didn't encourage him as much as I do he would NEVER see his family. (At least not if there wasn't something fun planned) Secondly, why is it my fault if he doesn't want to go? Up until about 6 months ago I thought I had the best of both worlds. A loving family, and wonderful in-laws who liked me. I'm starting to discover now that this in-law thing might not be as easy as I thought.