Friday, August 12, 2005

Odds and Ends

Okay... sorry I haven't posted much this week. It has been a LONG week!! I'm going to write this post to wrap up what's been going on so please excuse the fact that it will probably jump around quite a bit.

This week at my job we have gotten a new phone system. This will allow everyone to have direct dial numbers instead of one main line where everyone who calls gets the receptionist and then she transfers people. My new number is... HA!! Like I would post that here!! Come on people... give me some credit!!

Anyhow, in theory this is a grand idea, but in practice we have had a few "bugs" to work out. This would not be so bad if I was just a regular user but somehow over the last few years of working here I have been promoted to tech person. This amazes me as I have had absolutely NO training in computers or technical things. However... I have been the only tax staff person not to leave in the last three years and also the only one who refuses to travel... so I guess this is my trade off.

As a "tech" person I get to take administrator training for the new phone system and also work with the people from the phone place when there is trouble shooting to be done. And believe me, there has been plenty of trouble shooting to be done!!

Besides the new phones we also have a tax deadline on Monday. While most of the returns that I have are double extended (due in October), as the designated "tech" person for the tax software I have had to trouble shoot a problem that we were having with e-filing our second extensions. We also have a new person in charge of sending the e-files and printing the confirmations so I have had to train her on e-file procedures, etc.

Such is my life!! As you may have guessed I have come home from work just wanting to vedge in front of the TV so our house is a pit!! My sister and Tim were over this weekend to play cards and I just looked in our dining room this morning, and you guessed it, the cards are still sitting there. I have also not managed to do any laundry this week so Jake is on his last pair of jeans. Good thing it's Friday.

We'd considered going to the fair tonight for "east sider" night, but I think since we are going to be gone all weekend (I'll get to that) we may need to stay home tonight and mow and do laundry before we end up naked walking through the jungle that is our yard!!

As for Jake, this week has been just as much of a whirl wind for him. This weekend one of the carpenters at his work was killed in an automobile accident. Since he was slow at his jobsite he was transferred to the jobsite where this guy was working. Apparently over there, they are not slow, and so they are working 10 - 12 hour days depending on the heat and the project to be completed. The jobsite is also MUCH larger so he has been doing a lot more walking and stair climbing.

The man that died apparently left behind a wife and two kids with one on the way. After we went and saw Clint on Saturday Jake had begun to think about how short life was and how maybe he should make up with his mother. After he found out about this guy it was decided that we would go tomorrow to the family reunion and he would attempt to talk with his mom.

My nervousness about this situation exists on several levels. While I won't go into specifics because this website is about our family and not about gossip about any other people in it, I will say that Jake and I and his mother have "issues." Most of these issues stem back to about a year and a half ago when Julie and Keith got divorced. The divorce was very ugly and Jake has turned most of his anger about the situation towards his mother.

Since the divorce he has "civilly" spoken to his mother twice. On Christmas I made him call her because I thought it was unhealthy for him not to speak to her. (For those of you reading thinking how could you "make" him... I didn't physically MAKE him... I did however STRONGLY encourage him for several days until he called.) After that he talked to her on his birthday and then the next conversation they had was in February and it did not go well.

While I know he loves his mother very much he has used this not speaking to her as his sort of punishment. He thinks that if he doesn't call her it will hurt her. What he doesn't realize is that he is hurting himself just as much. Up until about three weeks ago this is what I have reiterated to him weekly if not by weekly. However, for the last three weeks I have been less sure of this.

You see three weeks ago Julie wrote me a pretty nasty e-mail in which she pretty much told me that she thinks it is my fault that Jake is not speaking to her. While the irony of this exists on several levels, it hurt my feelings all the same. Therefore, he called her to try to ask her about it and things once again did not go well.

Skip forward to this weekend. While I desperately want Jake to fix things with his mother and move on, my feelings have been hurt. I don't really want to see her because I'm hurt by the things she said. However, I am determined not to let that stand in my way and we are leaving tomorrow morning for what I hope will be a good day.

My other apprehension about tomorrow has nothing to do with me, but instead stems from the "hot headed" nature of my husband. I'm afraid if he tries to talk to his mother and things do not go well he may end up saying some things that will definitely not be "healthy" for the relationship. On top of that he has an "extreme" dislike for her new boyfriend. While he may be able to control himself if things are going well and not say anything to this man, if his mother and he start to get into a disagreement, I'm afraid that her new boyfriend may try to defend her and things could just go from bad to worse... much, much worse!!

Jake and I have spent the better part of this week with me throwing out sinarios to him. Now if he does this you will... Now if she says this you will.... I've been stressing the walk away technique as I'm pretty sure neither of us want to see what the Iowa City jails look like from the inside. I am apprehensive about going to say the least, but it has already been decided and his grandmother will be crushed if we don't show up.

For my part, I'm going to take a good long book and read next to the river while he fishes. Hopefully there will be much fishing, and little arguing. I'll update you all on how it goes when we get back. Keep your fingers crossed!!


kreints said...

I think that you two are taking the high road and should be proud of your decision to try to reconcile. I hope that it all works out for the better!