Monday, June 25, 2007

Two year blog-o-versary

Ok, so my two year blog-o-versary came and went about two weeks ago and there was no fan fare. No one sent me any cards and I didn't even get a cake. Not even a little one.... :-(

However, since I didn't remember it until this weekend, I suppose I can't be too upset that none of you did either. Anyhow, I thought since this is such a momentous occasion (even though I'm two weeks late) I would write a little something about it.

Two years ago, on June 13th I started this blog. I had been reading some other people's blogs for awhile and I wanted to create one of my own. A place where family and friends could come and get caught up on our lives and where I could post my thoughts on what was going on in the world.

So, I jumped in with both feet and purchased a site. (Did you know you can get here by entering Really, try it... I'll wait...) I picked the name because hamiltonfamily and many other variations of the sort were already taken. Then I started thinking about the Family Circus cartoon and how we always seemed to take the long way to get anywhere and sometimes our life seemed very much like a circus and so the name was born. However, shortly after I purchased the domain name I realized that I had NO idea how to make a website and no money to do so.

That is when I stumbled upon blogger. It was free and it pretty much set up your site for you. All you had to do was type in your posts. Now that I could handle. The first order of business was coming up with a tag line. This was our first one....

Lots of people say their house is a zoo. We prefer to refer to our
household as a circus. In a zoo, the animals are in cages, and there is a
semblance of order. At a circus, everyone runs free. There are
always about 3 things happening at once and every once in a while an elephant
breaks loose into the crowd and reeks havoc on several people. That is our

(When I read that again, I sort of miss it. I may have to bring that tag line back!!) So anyhow, the website was born. I started it with one of those lame posts that you find in the beginning of most sites. Hey this is me... welcome to my website. It was followed by some equally lame posts about nothing at all.

Finally I decided to suck it up and actually write about my life. It went badly. VERY BADLY!! The post was long and drawn out and really not all that interesting to read (not unlike what I've got going on now...). Looking back at my posts from those early months I see quite a few of them which are kind of painful. (And quite a few of them that seemed like I just posted them yesterday... where has the time gone.)

Eventually I did have at least one good post, one that still makes me kind of chuckle. (Hey one out of 100 isn't bad!!) No wonder I only had about 5 readers. At Christmas time that year I sent out our website in our Christmas letter. I was convinced that I would see a huge jump in readership and that everyone I knew would be reading what I wrote. It made me really nervous at first and I started really censoring what I wrote.

Then.... no one came. No really. No one!! I asked my mom about it and she told me that people really aren't all that interested in reading what is going on in their families lives. The once a year Christmas letter is enough for them. (And her too, as she was also not reading) So, I stopped censoring what I wrote and just turned this into my own personal space.

Do you know who one of my most loyal readers is now? My mom. Hi mom!! Oh, and I think my dad too. Or at least he told my aunt about the website. Told her if she wanted to know what was going on with Jake and I she could just come here. After all I post it all for the world to see. (I'm not sure if that is a compliment or a slam but I will take it as a compliment. Hi Dad!!)

Oh, speaking of readers... remember that one time when Heather came to visit? I still think about that. I think that may have been the highlight of my blogging career. Pretty sad huh? Two years of writing and I reached my peak within the first six months. Is that sort of like marriage?? After that it's all sort of down hill?

Anyhow, so that is it, the grand story of how this website got started. Since then it has been a series of dry times and times when I post twice a day for weeks. I have put up the most intimate details of my life and loved almost every minute of it.

So now, in honor of this wonderful event I am going to post some little known facts about myself. This list might get long and it might ramble (which you're used to from me) and it might share a bit too much for some of you (mom...shield your eyes) but hey... that's who I am right? I just put it all out here for the world to see.


I think about this website pretty much non-stop

If I could make a career out of it I would, but hey... I'm not Heather remember?

I write posts in my head in the shower

While I'm lying in bed at night

While I'm watching TV

Pretty much everywhere

Only about half of what I write in my head makes it here

Mostly because I forget about it before I get here

No really, since I had my son my memory is terrible

It's either mom-niesia or a serious lack of brain cells from the sleep deprivation

This morning I was getting ready to leave and I couldn't find my keys

I finally gave up looking and just grabbed my spare set

I was in the car and getting ready to put the car in reverse before I realized where they were

I had left them and my cell phone on the back porch when I had let the dogs out this morning

Until that moment I had forgotten completely that I had even let the dogs out

I'm telling you sleep deprivation is a killer

What I write on this blog is pretty much the extent of my life

Over all, I have one of the most boring lives I can imagine

Well, except for the crap that Jake has put me through

I have never smoked a cigarette

I have never done ANY illegal drugs

I have never been drunk (buzzed once or twice but that is it)

Right now I do not drink

And not just because I'm breastfeeding

Because I really am that boring and that much of a control freak

I don't like how it makes me feel and how it makes your inhibitions go down

I like being in control too much to give that up for a mildly good buzzed feeling

On the boring front, if I am ever kidnapped by aliens you can probably judge the exact date and time by the condition of my house

I have a routine that I follow every morning

I get up

I pump

I feed the cats and every other day I clean their litterbox

I feed the dogs and take them outside to their pen

Sometimes I mix those three up a bit just to step outside of my box!!

Then I get in the shower

If Zack is up I change him

Then I feed him

If he's not up yet I wash bottles first

And make myself lunch

Bologna sandwich and chips

Pretty much every day

I always SAY that I'm going to do both of those things in the evenings to save myself time

It never happens

I am too busy with the rest of my boring routine

Mondays I clean the bathroom and wash laundry

Tuesdays it's the kitchen and dishes

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday the rest of the house

If my kitchen looks like it has been hit by a tornado it is probably Tuesday morning

If the cupboards are open I was taken against my will, call 911 immediately

I have a strange quirk about the cupboards

It drives me CRAZY if they are left open

I can not leave the house until they are all closed

Other strange quirks I have

The doors in our house are ALWAYS locked now

They didn't used to be

Before we were robbed (what you missed that? It's a four part thriller... go catch up... I'll wait...) I never locked the doors

Even when we weren't home

Now it is the first thing I do when I walk in the door

Not because I'm worried about someone coming to get me

I worry about Zack

I have irrational fears that someone will come and take him

I check on him two or three times a night

And ALWAYS before I go to bed

Or if I get up in the middle of the night for something

That way if someone steals him I will be able to tell the police how long he's been gone

Except that all the windows and doors in my house are locked

So someone would REALLY have to want to get to him

I also worry that he will stop breathing in his sleep

I was told this would go away once he was older

It hasn't yet

I worry about him a lot

I wouldn't stop to help someone on the side of the road if he was with me

I am afraid another car will come up and hit the back of my car with him in it

Speaking of irrational car fears

I wouldn't stop to help anyone who was in an accident

I have this fear that they would be faking it and as soon as I get out of my car they will pull a knife or a gun on me

I'm not sure I would stop even if they were hit by another car

They could be a stunt man

Working with another person

Trying to kidnap me

This morning I saw a dog walking along the side of the road

I was going to stop to see if it had a collar

But then I was stricken with panic about someone hitting my car with Zack in it

So I decided to come back after I had dropped him off at daycare

Then I promptly forgot about it until just now

I told you my memory is shit!!

Speaking of all things Zack

(Mom... this is where you will want to divert your eyes...)

I had never seen a porn until I was pregnant with Zack

I found once of Jake's and I popped it in to see what all the fuss was about

It was mildly amusing

I did NOT watch the whole thing

I then proceeded to throw out all the additional porns I found in the house (he got a bunch free when they did a flooring job at the lumber yard)

I thought I had them all

Until Jess and Shane came over to help me clean my house

And they kept finding them everywhere

Including in my movie rack

(I think Shane or Matt put them there.... I think I would have noticed if they had been there before that... I think....)

That was really the only thing that embarrassed me...

Them finding his porn

Other than that, I am pretty much an open book

And since I've started pumping I have no modesty either

I have pumped in front of almost every woman that is close to me

I just sort of whip them out and go about my business

A month ago even the exterminator saw my boobs

I think he was more embarrassed than me

I was pumping in the living room because I thought he was leaving

He came back to leave me a ticket

When he walked onto my back porch there is a giant window there and he saw right into my living room

He just left the ticket in the door and hightailed it out of there

Next time maybe he will be on time so I'm not running late

Then I can wait until he is fully out of the driveway before I start pumping

Speaking of that window

I have no peep hole in my house

If someone comes to the door and I want to see who they are I have to go around to that window to see them

That window is at the bottom of my stairs

If you want your own peep show stand outside my back door in the mornings

If anyone knocks and I'm in the shower I have to throw on clothes and then go around and look.

I can't just sneak upstairs like most people can

So, I think that's all the random facts for one day.

Happy blog-o-versary to me,

Happy blog-o-versary to me,

Happy blog-o-versary dear Heather,

Happy blog-o-bersary to me!!


Steph said...

Happy blog-o-versary! I've just been doing it a couple weeks myself. What can I say, I'm a late bloomer.

Lynanne said...

Happy blogiversary! Although I've only been reading for about a year and a half, I have yet to see a lame post from you! I'll never forget the first post of yours that I read. It was about your husband's creative way of filling the dishwasher (which sounded just like something my husband had done). You're a great writer, Heather! I guess that's why I keep coming back. I bet I'm getting to be one of those annoying guests that you can't get read of, eh?

J said...

I love your random list of things! Happy Blogoversary!! Keep doin' what you're doin'!!

Shane and Jessica Olson said...

After reading the LONG LONG list of random thoughts....I can't believe you were embarrassed about a little porn. Are you kidding me. The black-bleepity-bleep-bleepity-porn you and I found was WAY worse than the porn Shane and I found (Not to mention ALL the other items we found that were way worse). I don't know what Matt found (did you see him throw it away - LOL - just kidding). I can assure you Shane and Matt didn't put it there. I absolutely DO NOT allow that crap in my house. The most amusement my husband gets is Victoria Secret (which I may have to remove my name from there mailing list if there models don't get a little more G rated) and me sleeping in a "wifebeater" (don't know why that amuses him, I am damn sure I wouldn't want to see me in one - but hey to each there own). I am really not that big of a prude I just think porn is disrespectful to me and dirty.....D-I-R-T-Y!!
So in short...if you see any Victoria Secret catalogues or wifebeaters in your house call Shane and tell him to come retreive his "lost" items of amusement.

Shane and Jessica Olson said...

PS: Happy Blog-o-versary!!!!

Tink said...

Happy Blogoversary! May the next year of blogging bring lots of happy things to post and less stressful ones. :)

Danette said...

Happy Blog-oversary. Thank you for helping me get mine started. You never have a lame blog. You tell it like it is, thats why people like it so much. LOL- Danette

Kbreints said...

Happy Blog-oversary to you! Thank you for making me start one oh so long ago for my 1 kid then and 2 now! Also-- You do a great job of letting it hang out there for the world to see. Not everyone can do this and continue to be such a great person.

Todd Shipler said...

Hey Heather, sounds like you've had it a bit rough lately. can you email me at so I can get your address again?

Todd S.