Charlie and the WHAT??

The above image was borrowed (okay stolen) from this website that I read. So, stop over and give his site some traffic, and then maybe he won't be so mad that I stole his picture. It is a REALLY pretty picture.

So, this weekend Jake and I saw the remake of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The impression I walked away with... this movie is CREEPY!!

Not creepy in a I want to watch it again to see what happens, but creepy in a let us never bring that into this house again sort of way. On one review I read, Willy Wonka's character was explained as having an almost Michael Jackson persona. I think that is an accurate portrayal. This movie destroys all that was fun about the original movie and gives it a definite "Tim Burton" spin.

About a month before this movie came out a friend and I were discussing how they are remaking a lot of the old movies and how it is funny that Willy Wonka was never re-made. We then both agreed that they could never top the old one. About a week later, the previews for this one came out. We were right, it doesn't even come close.

For those of you who have not seen the movie, stop here if you have any desire to see this movie. From this point on, I am going to explain to you what I found so creepy and disturbing about this movie.

First of all, in CATCF (I'm going to refer to them as CATCF and WWATCF from this point forward because it is just so much easier) Charlie has a dad. What is up with that? There was no dad in the original movie. It destroys the whole family dynamics to say that he has a dad.

Secondly, the beginning sequence where you get acquainted with Charlie and the rest of the characters has been CHOPPED!! There is no song with Charlie's mom, there is no feeling of the longing that he had to win the contest. NOTHING!! In the original I think it was a good 45 min to an hour before they got to the chocolate factory. In this one, it is maybe 30 min.

Also, in CATCF there is NO Slugworth. How do you cut out that character?? That is a MAIN character!! So, consequently jumping ahead a bit, there is no scene where they drink fizzy lifting drink, and also no scene where he has to give the everlasting gobstopper back at the end. What a crock!!

Okay, moving on to the more disturbing parts. When they get to the chocolate factory (okay one brief digression, Mike TV brings his dad instead of his mom and Violet brings her mom instead of her dad what's up with that??) the gates open and they just enter. Then the doors open and there is a cast of singing dolls similar to the ones in Shreck when they get to the castle. However, in this movie the dolls burst into flames in the end and their faces begin to melt. As they are touring the factory they pass the doll burn unit, entirely too morbid for a kids movie!!

Oh, and speaking of singing, the Oompa Loompas don't sing like they are supposed to!! They sing individual songs for each child that have very dark undertones. There is also a whole sequence that shows Willy Wonka in Loompa land and how the Ooompa Loompas were being hunted and so they had to stay in the trees and eat bugs. But for some reason they worship the coca bean so that is how he got them to come to the chocolate factory. All around STRANGE!!

The demises of the children are similar, except that there are squirrels cracking nuts instead of geese laying eggs. Also, there are two kids left when they get to ride in the glass elevator. While in it they pass some cows being whipped (sexual tones anyone??) which Willy Wonka says is for whipped cream. They also pass a room with pick sheep being sheared. All Willy says about that is "I'd rather not talk about it." From what I could find in the reviews these sheep are supposed to be cotton candy sheep, but the implication is not clear. At first I thought it may have been a twist on the pink elephant, but one other website I read got the impression that it gave the allusion of bestiality. With as vague as they leave it, I think it is definitely open to interpretation.

Throughout this movie there are flashbacks to Willy's past which were never in the first movie, along with a reunion with his father in the end before he decides to let Charlie's family live in the chocolate factory.

Overall I'd say this movie left me with a bad taste in my mouth, and I usually LOVE anything chocolate. I think I will stick with the original!!