Extreme Makeover: Heather Edition

After my post yesterday, my friend Jess e-mailed me to say, "Okay so how hard am I going to have to try to convince you to let me do your hair and even a little make-up?!?!?! Can I, Can I."

My response, "How about tonight? I'll be over around 5:30." So, after work I dug through my bathroom cabinets and found all of the makeup I own. Well that's not entirely true. I found the makeup from the wedding. I own more than that.

Slight veering from topic... you see every year or so I go on this kick where I am convinced that I am going to wear makeup and do my hair. It usually lasts for all of one to two days. After that I decide that sleeping is more important than getting up early and making myself look beautiful. After all, who am I trying to impress?

So, back to the story. After I gathered up some makeup, my curling iron, the blow dryer, and some misc styling products I have no idea how to use but I was told I should, I headed over to Jess's house. I arrived promptly at 5:45 (for those of you who know me well, anymore this is about as on time as I get) looking like this:

Yes, I'm aware that I look ridiculously stupid and partially drunk in this picture. This is as good as it gets people... ANYHOW...

Jess proceeded to work her magic. Or attempt anyway. We didn't rewash my hair because who has time for that? She just attempted to work with what I had. First we did makeup. She wanted me to put my own eyeliner on. But apparently even that is not something I can handle. (And she thinks I'm going to be able to do this by myself??)

So, we took it off and she applied it. It was about at this time that Shane arrived home. His comment, "It won't help." Thanks Shane. Way to boost my self confidence!! Just for that, we remained hold up in the bathroom and made him use the guest bathroom to shower. After we had him cook dinner, of course. (Pizza from Dominos. Shane is an excellent cook!)

From eye liner, we moved on to the rest of the makeup. After the tremendously bad job I did on eyeliner, Jess just stuck to applying the rest of the makeup herself. After every step I studied what she had done in the mirror. Now can I re-create it? We'll see.

After makeup we went to hair. We had a slight fiasco with a run away piece of hair and for a moment I thought she was going to give up entirely. At one point I believe she said I looked like a peacock. Now that is an attractive image, let me tell you.

In the end, this is what we came up with:

Jess said it looked good, Danette said it looked good, even Shane said it looked good. I, well, I think I look slightly less drunk in the second picture than in the first. And I definitely look a little less pasty, but other than that... I don't see a HUGE change.

Anyhow... I'm sure now you are wondering how I did getting myself ready this morning.

Let us never speak of this morning!!

Jake had to be to work at 6:00 this morning. (At least he has his jeep back and I didn't have to TAKE him) So, when he got up, I woke up. I then proceeded to lie awake upstairs until around 6:00 or 6:15 when I fell back asleep. Probably when I should have been getting up!! My alarm went off at 6:45 and I think it was around 7:10 when I finally forced myself to get out of bed.

When I got home last night I took a shower, because I can't sleep with makeup and hairspray so I was not worried about the showering part, but what I saw in the mirror was worse than any shower could have fixed anyway.

For some reason, this morning I look a WHOLE lot like Droopy Dog.

The bags under my eyes could have swallowed a Hummer. And I'm not talking about one of those Hummer H3's. I'm referring to a full size Hummer. You could have just driven that thing over the rough mountainous surface that is my face right now and straight into the grand canyon craters!!

I looked into the mirror at 7:15 and said, I can't fix that!! Besides my eyes, my hair just looked EXTREMELY un cooperative. I had the feeling that I would have to wash it again to make it do anything, and with all that time I wasted doing important things like sleeping, I didn't have time for that.

So, that was it, the decision was made. I pulled my hair half up, made a rough attempt at fixing my bangs and was off. Ask me about my new look on Monday.