Monday, November 26, 2007

Home Remedies

I hope you all had a great holiday. I'm still recovering. Jake's dad is at home now and hopefully he will continue to recover quickly.

Zack was up until 9:00 both Friday and Saturday night and was pretty grumpy both Saturday and Sunday so last night we got him into bed at 7:15. At 7:30 this morning he still wasn't stirring so I had to drag him out of bed into the cold to get him to daycare. Perhaps tonight will be another early night.

Well... I'll be back tomorrow... hopefully with some interesting reading. What would you guys like to see me post about? Come on... any one??

All right, well I'm going to leave you with this little story. I got this in an e-mail a month or so ago and it still makes me laugh so I thought I would share it all with you.

Home Remedies

1) If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling Water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2) Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3) Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4) For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5) A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock , will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6) If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7) You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


todd said...

I think using the sink made me laugh the most!!

Kbreints said...

I like the Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop one-- to funny!