Wednesday, November 07, 2007

How do you choose?

I had a post all written in my head this morning about the feelings of hopelessness and loss you have when you are with and active addict but it will have to wait for tomorrow. I was checking some of my regular sites and I came upon this woman who DESPERATELY needs your support.

She is/was 20 weeks pregnant with a little boy. They just found out that her son has bilateral renal agenesis which means that he has no kidneys. You can not live without kidneys. So, she had to make the heartbreaking decision of whether to carry this baby for another 20 weeks knowing that as soon as he was born (or within 4 hours of birth according to Dr. Google) he would die or to be induced now.

Yesterday afternoon she was supposed to be induced.

I can not imagine having to make this choice and my heart hurts for this woman that I do not know. I had, once before, heard of a woman who was pregnant and they discovered that the baby did not have any lungs. Being a deeply religious family they decided not to terminate and instead carried their child to term knowing that every day closer that they got to the baby's birthday was one day closer to its death.

I can not imagine shopping for caskets instead of shopping for cribs. Knowing that the only thing keeping your baby alive was the fact that it remained inside of you. What a feeling of hopelessness and complete and utter sadness.

Before I had Zack I said oh no to these things. I thought they were sad but they did not touch me like they do now. Now when I hear about this my heart hurts for these people. I find myself wiping away tears of sadness for a person I do not even know. I find myself clinging to my son extra hard at night knowing that when he was born I could celebrate.

So today, instead of focusing on me I ask that you go there and spend a few minutes focusing on her and letting her know that there are people who are sending out their thoughts and their prayers for her. It will not make her son alright but hopefully it will help her to get through the dark place that I can only imagine that she will be in for awhile.