Scavenger Hunt

On Saturday Jake and I attended a couples night hosted by our friends Jess and Shane. The main game for the evening was a scavenger hunt. This consisted of guys against girls, nine items to find/do and photograph plus one dare. Unfortunately, we lost. Now I know this is no excuse, but we did have one item (find 5 ISU license plates) that took us 45 minutes to do. The guys had one hard item also (find a guy in a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and wearing a belt buckle) but it was Iowa State Fair time, so it didn't take them NEARLY as long as it should have!!

Now I do have to admit, I was somewhat skeptical about this game to begin with, but it turned out to be A LOT of fun!! I am going to post the pictures of what the girls had to do. I do not have the pictures from the guys, but if Jess will be so kind as to e-mail them to me, I will post them later.

Our first three items found us wildly running through Wal-mart. First up, sing "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener" while holding a package of hotdogs in the meat section.














Next, we had to buy a carton of eggs and then return them to customer service stating that we needed to return the eggs because we had decided we couldn't eat them since life begins at conception.














While the lady behind the counter seemed nice enough... I'm unsure that she really believed that we wanted to return the eggs. When she finally got it she went through her usual speech... so there's nothing wrong with the eggs? (No lady... we just ran over from the line we purchased them in!!) You just don't want them anymore? (She's catching on...)

She finally agreed to return our poor "fertilized" eggs for a full refund of our $1.14 or whatever they cost and even asked to see the final picture that we took. (Even though she wasn't looking at the camera when we took the picture!!)

Our final task in Wal-mart found us purchasing a cucumber and KY at the same time. I'll let you guess what the implication of that was. Luckily there was nothing that we had to say to the cashier to go along with this. We were in such a hurry though that the total came to $2.91 and Jess just threw $3.00 at the poor woman and said keep the change as we were running away.

The guys also had to make a purchase at Wal-mart. Their purchase: a box of super-plus tampons and a pregnancy test. They, however, did not get off so easy on the talking to the cashier. Their job was to tell him/her... "either way we go we're screwed."

After Wal-mart we moved on to Keith's house to get the next five items on our list. We were going to go to the fair grounds but decided to only venture into that madhouse on a Saturday night as a last resort.

At Keith's we had to get a picture of someone in cutoffs.

10 bonus points if you can guess who's butt that is. (No, it's not one of us three.) The guys also had to get this but they achieved their picture in a little more creative way. As they were driving down East 29th street they slammed on the breaks, jumped out of the truck and ran up to some woman walking her dog. She agreed to let them take a picture of her legs, but I'm unsure if she really believed them when they told her they were on a scavenger hunt.

Our next item was to get a picture of someone wearing black socks and sandals. Who does this? We were pretty sure that NO ONE does so we had to set up this picture.

Another 10 bonus points if you can guess who's legs these are. I'll give you a hint. We were supposed to find a GUY wearing black socks and sandals but we cheated a little. (It's okay to admit that since, as the guys are so fond of telling us... WE LOST!!) If we would have won... I would have taken that secret to my grave. Why sure those are Marshall's legs!!

Next came a picture of a tan line. The guys also had this, but I think they used Matt's tan line. Since we called Jess's Aunt, her other aunt and uncle who also helped make the questions were out of town, and found out we weren't supposed to use anyone in the group we used Amber.

Isn't that a nice tan line? What? Why does it look like it's been enhanced a tad with foundation? I don't know what you're talking about!! (Again okay to admit because why? Let's all say it together... WE LOST!!)

The next item we had to get was two girls kissing. Jess's aunt assured us that this would be easy, just go into a bar and ask two women to do it. We, however, didn't have that much confidence in our abilities to find two girls willing to do this at 7:30 at night. Maybe after a few more beers, but 7:30 is still early in bar time. So... we once again used Amber and Molly, our helpful participants.

Now, before you start to think... wait a minute. They seem to have gotten a lot done there, that's not fair that they used people they know... let me reiterate. The men used Matt's tan line, and when they had to sing while working out they used the gym in the neighbor's garage. The man with the belt buckle, cowboy boot, and cowboy hat was a co-worker of Jake's. AND... the picture of a woman's boobs that they had to get... those were Amber's. (Okay.. it was more of a cleavage shot... but the were still Amber's.)

All's fair in love and scavenger hunts isn't it? Besides... did you forget already? Even with all of our help from Amber and Molly...WE STILL LOST!! Our final thing at Keith's was to build a cheerleading pyramid.

Don't we look thrilled?

It was only around 7:45 or 8:00 by the time we left Keith's house. We had 8 things off of our list, including the dare and only had two things left to do. It was at this point that our evening took a turn for the worse. Did you know that it is next to impossible to find 5 ISU license plates when you are looking for them??

In hindsight we should have gone to the tattoo parlor first and gotten a picture of someone getting a tattoo. At least then, when the guys called and said they were done at 8:45 we might have been a little closer. Instead, we drove irratically through hospital parking lots, and parking garages looking for the dumb license plates.

By this point I was so into winning this game and having fun that I was just weaving in and out of the rows in the parking lots. When we got to Mercy Jess had to get out and walk around while Danette and I continued to look because she was getting car sick. Hey... wasn't it her that told me to throw caution to the wind and just go with the flow? Beggers can't be choosers!! :-)

Anyway, we had JUST finished getting all of the license plates and were heading to the tattoo parlor when the guys called. That was the only thing left on our list, but since the time limit was 9:00 or whoever finishes first, we accepted defeat gracefully and headed back to Jess and Shane's house for our "lashing."

After we got back we played a game similar to the old newlywed game and then we played cards. Somewhere in all of this mayhem the remaining guys (who didn't' live there) decided it would be funny to put a coconut in between the mattress and boxsprings of Jess & Shane's bed. (Sorry guys.) As of yesterday they had still not discovered it, so I did let Jess in on the secret. I didn't want to forget about it and have them find it six months down the road moldy and rotten. (Do coconuts rot?)

Over all, it was a very fun evening. My thought was that maybe next time we could play a game similar to the amazing race. The only problem with that is that if I made the clues and hid them I would not be able to play the game, and how fun would that be? So... I'm re-thinking my options... got any suggestions??

Why no...

actually... we don't use this treadmill.

Whatever made you ask?

Clock

On July 9th my 85 year old grandpa got married. Then about two weeks ago he and his new wife Alice left for a 10 day vacation to Europe (I am insanely jealous!). Since I sang in their wedding they wanted to get me a thank you gift while they were gone. Here is my coo-coo clock brought to me all the way from Switzerland. I'm quite impressed if I do say so myself!!
While there is not a coo coo bird that pops out, it does make the sound and the detail on the figurines in exquisite. Not to mention that they went to the trouble to bring it back for me. Now if only they could have figured out a way to stow me in their suitcase!!

Eeek!!

Remember aforementioned messy house? Well we are trying to refinance. About an hour ago the lady from the appraisal company called to set a date and time for the appraisal. I was thinking early next week, no problem we have all weekend to "straighten up." Oh no, the appraiser will be at my house at 4:00 tomorrow.

Panic is quickly setting in....

Too much to do... WAY to little time...

I can't leave work until I finish the project I'm working on, which could take me another couple of hours!!

Eeek!! Anyone know any magic cleaning genies?

Different Perspective

Me: I was looking at Jake's gas receipt the other day and I was just floored by the price. I thought he had accidentally filled up with premium!

Other Person: (laughing) You make him give you his receipts?

Me: Well yeah, how else do I know what comes out of the checkbook?

OP: What do you mean?

Me: Well we only have one checkbook. If he doesn't give me the receipt then I will never know how much is in there.

OP: Oh, all my bills just come out automatically and I just go to the ATM and if it says I have money than I do.

Would it have been mean of me to point out that my daddy give me money and so I don't have an unlimited source of funds? Yeah... I thought so to so I just nodded and smiled. Oh the joys of the unmarried, no bills, never have to scrimp to buy groceries life. Is it too late to sign me up for that?

$50 Laptop??

I think I will stick to buying them at a store.....

A rush to purchase $50 used laptops turned into a violent stampede Tuesday,
with people getting thrown to the pavement, beaten with a folding chair and
nearly driven over. One woman went so far to wet herself rather than surrender
her place in line

All for Not...

Well, we didn't go. All that worrying for nothing!! We were up on Saturday in good time to go and for some reason Jake just looked at me and said, "I don't want to go." Now it's very hard for me to force him (or encourage him) to go somewhere where I'm not keen on going in the first place. So, he called Grandma, and after 20 minutes of guilt trips settled on the fact that he was not going.

Unfortunately, he did not have the nerve to tell her that he just didn't want to go, so he told her he didn't feel good. I have explained to him that she will probably find out that we went to the fair instead, but that is his problem to explain at a later date.

Of course after he hung up with her she called back on my cell phone to ask me if it was my decision not to go. I made him answer. He assured her that it was not my fault he was not going, but I'm not sure she was convinced.

After he hung up it donned on me that this is probably the reason that they think that it is my fault that he doesn't go anywhere. I have always made it a point not to butt in where his family was concerned. If there is a family gathering that he doesn't want to go to I generally don't put up much of a fight. (Granted, if it were his Grandma's birthday or Christmas or something I might encourage a little more) Now when it comes to my family, I want to go, so I argue a little more if he resists. When it is his family, if he says he doesn't want to go, I don't make a big deal out of it.

My guess is that this has been misunderstood as me encouraging him not to see his family. This bothers me for a couple of reasons. First of all, chances are if I didn't encourage him as much as I do he would NEVER see his family. (At least not if there wasn't something fun planned) Secondly, why is it my fault if he doesn't want to go? Up until about 6 months ago I thought I had the best of both worlds. A loving family, and wonderful in-laws who liked me. I'm starting to discover now that this in-law thing might not be as easy as I thought.

Odds and Ends

Okay... sorry I haven't posted much this week. It has been a LONG week!! I'm going to write this post to wrap up what's been going on so please excuse the fact that it will probably jump around quite a bit.

This week at my job we have gotten a new phone system. This will allow everyone to have direct dial numbers instead of one main line where everyone who calls gets the receptionist and then she transfers people. My new number is... HA!! Like I would post that here!! Come on people... give me some credit!!

Anyhow, in theory this is a grand idea, but in practice we have had a few "bugs" to work out. This would not be so bad if I was just a regular user but somehow over the last few years of working here I have been promoted to tech person. This amazes me as I have had absolutely NO training in computers or technical things. However... I have been the only tax staff person not to leave in the last three years and also the only one who refuses to travel... so I guess this is my trade off.

As a "tech" person I get to take administrator training for the new phone system and also work with the people from the phone place when there is trouble shooting to be done. And believe me, there has been plenty of trouble shooting to be done!!

Besides the new phones we also have a tax deadline on Monday. While most of the returns that I have are double extended (due in October), as the designated "tech" person for the tax software I have had to trouble shoot a problem that we were having with e-filing our second extensions. We also have a new person in charge of sending the e-files and printing the confirmations so I have had to train her on e-file procedures, etc.

Such is my life!! As you may have guessed I have come home from work just wanting to vedge in front of the TV so our house is a pit!! My sister and Tim were over this weekend to play cards and I just looked in our dining room this morning, and you guessed it, the cards are still sitting there. I have also not managed to do any laundry this week so Jake is on his last pair of jeans. Good thing it's Friday.

We'd considered going to the fair tonight for "east sider" night, but I think since we are going to be gone all weekend (I'll get to that) we may need to stay home tonight and mow and do laundry before we end up naked walking through the jungle that is our yard!!

As for Jake, this week has been just as much of a whirl wind for him. This weekend one of the carpenters at his work was killed in an automobile accident. Since he was slow at his jobsite he was transferred to the jobsite where this guy was working. Apparently over there, they are not slow, and so they are working 10 - 12 hour days depending on the heat and the project to be completed. The jobsite is also MUCH larger so he has been doing a lot more walking and stair climbing.

The man that died apparently left behind a wife and two kids with one on the way. After we went and saw Clint on Saturday Jake had begun to think about how short life was and how maybe he should make up with his mother. After he found out about this guy it was decided that we would go tomorrow to the family reunion and he would attempt to talk with his mom.

My nervousness about this situation exists on several levels. While I won't go into specifics because this website is about our family and not about gossip about any other people in it, I will say that Jake and I and his mother have "issues." Most of these issues stem back to about a year and a half ago when Julie and Keith got divorced. The divorce was very ugly and Jake has turned most of his anger about the situation towards his mother.

Since the divorce he has "civilly" spoken to his mother twice. On Christmas I made him call her because I thought it was unhealthy for him not to speak to her. (For those of you reading thinking how could you "make" him... I didn't physically MAKE him... I did however STRONGLY encourage him for several days until he called.) After that he talked to her on his birthday and then the next conversation they had was in February and it did not go well.

While I know he loves his mother very much he has used this not speaking to her as his sort of punishment. He thinks that if he doesn't call her it will hurt her. What he doesn't realize is that he is hurting himself just as much. Up until about three weeks ago this is what I have reiterated to him weekly if not by weekly. However, for the last three weeks I have been less sure of this.

You see three weeks ago Julie wrote me a pretty nasty e-mail in which she pretty much told me that she thinks it is my fault that Jake is not speaking to her. While the irony of this exists on several levels, it hurt my feelings all the same. Therefore, he called her to try to ask her about it and things once again did not go well.

Skip forward to this weekend. While I desperately want Jake to fix things with his mother and move on, my feelings have been hurt. I don't really want to see her because I'm hurt by the things she said. However, I am determined not to let that stand in my way and we are leaving tomorrow morning for what I hope will be a good day.

My other apprehension about tomorrow has nothing to do with me, but instead stems from the "hot headed" nature of my husband. I'm afraid if he tries to talk to his mother and things do not go well he may end up saying some things that will definitely not be "healthy" for the relationship. On top of that he has an "extreme" dislike for her new boyfriend. While he may be able to control himself if things are going well and not say anything to this man, if his mother and he start to get into a disagreement, I'm afraid that her new boyfriend may try to defend her and things could just go from bad to worse... much, much worse!!

Jake and I have spent the better part of this week with me throwing out sinarios to him. Now if he does this you will... Now if she says this you will.... I've been stressing the walk away technique as I'm pretty sure neither of us want to see what the Iowa City jails look like from the inside. I am apprehensive about going to say the least, but it has already been decided and his grandmother will be crushed if we don't show up.

For my part, I'm going to take a good long book and read next to the river while he fishes. Hopefully there will be much fishing, and little arguing. I'll update you all on how it goes when we get back. Keep your fingers crossed!!

Animals

If my house should ever catch on fire this will be me....

Woman Dies While Trying To Rescue Cat From Fire

A Kentucky woman trying to save her cat from inside her burning home near Louisville has died.
Authorities said she died of smoke inhalation after being taken to a hospital.

Iris Kay Call and her husband had escaped from the house, but she went back inside looking for the cat and didn't reappear. Firefighters later removed her from the house.

So... if you come to my house and you see fire extinguishers everywhere... trust me when I tell you it's for my own safety.

Family Barbecue

On Saturday the Brooks side of my family trekked up to Jewel to visit my Uncle clint. When we pulled in the driveway the first thing we noticed was that Clint was mowing the lawn.

We figured with as crummy as he had been feeling lately this must be a good sign. (Quick side note, that vehicle in the back is my mother's new Tahoe... to say she is proud is a gross understatement!) As it turns out he had a steroid injection on Friday and he usually gets about two good days of relief after one of those.

The first thing we did, of course, was stand around and chat.

The People in these pictures are (from left to right) my aunt Cindy, Denise (Clint's girlfriend), Clint (on the mower), my Uncle Dennis, and my mom.

Finally someone decided that maybe we should cook something while we chatted, lest we all starve to death. Us Brookses... we are smart ones!! We put the boys to work shucking sweet corn.

Jake, Tim (Lindsay's boyfriend), my cousin Brandon, my Uncle Dennis. Even Sammy (short for Samantha) my uncle's dog wanted to help.

After the corn was shucked, the "women" headed inside to do "womanly things" (a.k.a. sit around in the living room and chat with Clint) while the men stayed outside and did some gossiping of their own.

Jake, Tim, my cousin Shawn, my Uncle David, Uncle Dennis, my Cousin Adam

Jake shows off his skills on the grill

Clint's impressive stockpile of drugs. Impressive, and expensive!! One of his chemotherapy drugs costs $2,808.46 for 30 pills. He told me to make sure I didn't leave off the forty six cents. I assured him that I wouldn't!!

After we ate there was more sitting around and chatting and then we ended the day with a round of "family" photos.

Jake, Me, Adam, Lindsay, Tim, Brandon, Shawn

Clint, Connie, David, Mom, Dennis

Overall, the day was not overshadowed by the fact that Clint is sick, but instead celebrated for the fact that all of us were able to get together and share such a wonderful summer day.

Dealing with Loss

I've been struggling the last couple of days with what to post here. I know that as a general rule I have kept this website relatively uplifting. For this reason I have not really wanted to bring this sadness here. However, the more I think about it, the more I have realized that this website is about ALL the things that are happening in our lives, not just the good things.

Someone once told me that Christmas letters are not the time to tell sad things, but I disagree. I think Christmas letters, just like this website, are a tool to tell a lot of people at once what is happening in your life. And let's face it folks, not everything that happens in our lives is rainbows and butterflies.

Earlier this week I received a call from my mom asking me if I wanted to travel with her and the rest of my family up to see my uncle this weekend. When I enquired as to who the rest of my family included she informed me that my Uncle Dennis was coming from California, and my Uncle David from Florida and my sister from Iowa City, and possibly my cousin from Colorado. That is when I knew that this couldn't be good.

You see, my uncle Clint is dying. We have known this for awhile but he has recently become much worse. While I have never been especially close to my uncle, I am really struggling with this. My self analysis tells me that it is probably because my Grandma Griffieon (my dad's mom) passed away in June of last year and then my Grandma Brooks (my mom's mom) passed away in October. As a person who had NEVER lost a relative until this point, loosing three in a little over a year is starting to wear on me.

That said, I can only imagine the pain my mom is feeling. When she was younger her dad became ill with Hodgkin's disease. At the time they did not have a high success rate for curing this type of cancer and he passed away before she ever graduated highschool. Then last year my grandma was perfectly healthy on Saturday, got a bowel obstruction and was buried by the following Tuesday. Now, for the last ten months she has had to watch my uncle slowly go down hill battling Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

I did a little research this morning on the Cancer Treatment Centers of America website and discovered that while the success rate of treating Hodgkin's disease has gone up the statistics are not the same for Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It makes a person feel SOO helpless knowing there is nothing that they can do.

In today's day and age everyone seems to feel invincible. You get cancer... no big deal. You'll just have a little radiation and some chemo therapy and move on your way. It seems so easy to forget that there are still diseases and cancers out there that have a very low success rate for cures if there is even a cure at all.

I know this is probably not my most uplifting moment but I just want to take this time to stress to all of you that family is important, and you never know when they are going to be gone. Please remember that something that seems SOO important today may seem really stupid if that person were gone tomorrow.

Kitten

Okay... we have decided. When we are rich we are going to get ourselves one of these:
















And what, you are asking is this adorable creature staring at you? Why a Bobcat of course!! For the low price of $1,500 we could be the proud owners of this ADORABLE creature.

According to my new favorite website we could own a bobcat, a lynx, a caracal, or a serval. After all, a bobcat only gets to be an average size of 25-35 lbs. It would be like a Jack or a Sadie, all be it a Jack or Sadie that jumps. And this, is the main reason that we have decided that our house is probably not equipped for an animal of that size that jumps.

We have a kitty tree that Sylvester just loves. However we are pretty sure that this thing would NOT hold something of that size. I think we would probably have to build a custom kitty condo along with some MONSTER perches to hold something that large.

The next problem... what do you feed this adorable little (okay big) kitty? According to the website big cats will become very sick if they are fed just regular cat food. Therefore, you are supposed to feed them whole meat. Conveniently enough they sell just such whole meat food. 40 lbs of Beef-Chicken-Hen for $82. They recommend your big cat eat a pound to a pound and a half of meat per day so this will last you 25-40 days. $3.28 to $2.05 per day. Sort of like feeding a small child.

Finally there is the issue of just exactly how is this thing going to relieve its self? That would be one VERY big litterbox!! According to the website if you don't want to litter train it, they also like to relieve themselves in water as that is what they do in the wild. Can we say... no thank you? Maybe if we could train it to use the toilet, but otherwise... I don't want that thing tracking nasty "used" water around my house.

So, if Jake and I ever win the lottery and you see us building on to our house, know... it's not for the children... it's for one of these!!

Truck Troubles

What do you get when you put unleaded gasoline into a diesel engine?

Apparently a dead truck, as we discovered last night. At around 7:00 Jake and I were outside. I was picking things up in the yard and he was getting the mower ready so he could mow when his sister called. She was at the gas station and had pulled up to the pump to put diesel in the truck and had mistakenly put in Unleaded instead.

In her defense, the diesel was on the side of the store and there were three pumps that had diesel and only one that had unleaded. She called Keith and neither of them assumed they would put unleaded over on the side so they thought it must be unleaded diesel. We now know that there is no such thing as unleaded diesel. However, the pump handles were not marked differently as so many are in Iowa, (Green for diesel) so I could probably see myself making the same mistake. My mother said there is another gas station like that over by Prairie Meadows and three or four people that she knows have done the same thing this year.

So, back to the story... we gathered as many gas cans as we could and a siphon hose and set out for the gas station convinced that we could suction the gas out of the truck, fill it with diesel, and she would be on her way. HaHaHa!! Aren't we funny?

When we got there Jake stuck the siphon hose into the gas tank and proceeded to try to get it to suck the gas out. Here is a picture of his sophisticated suction apparatus. It consisted of a piece of a garden hose, and some clear tubing. Oh yes, and let's not forget the ever important duct tape that held it together. That stuff will work for anything won't it?

At first he tried to blow into the hose but since the gas tank was so full all he successfully did was create Old Faithful. While that did get some gas out of the tank, it wasn't exactly the result we were hoping for. So, he decided he would have to suck on the end of the hose. I can see you now, reading this and thinking we know what happens next. Yup, you are right. Gas... right in the mouth. It wasn't much, but I don't think it would take much to make a person sick.

Needless to say, the siphoning started and Jake headed into the gas station to attempt not to toss his cookies. He came out about 10 minutes later looking a little green, but told us he did not throw up. It continued this way for over an hour. I think he ended up inhaling gas or fumes 5 or 6 times during the whole experience.

After about an hour we had 15 gallons of gas siphoned out and Jake realized that he needed a special wrench to take off the fuel filter and get the rest of the gas out. So, I headed off to my parents house after wrenches. Luckily my dad was home because I would have had NO idea what I was looking for. He sent a filter wrench, and adjustable wrench and a pair of vice grips. Pop quiz... identify which is which in the picture!!

Anyhow, when I returned they had most of the gas siphoned out and Jake set to work removing the fuel filter. Sometime in all of this madness Molly realized that we probably weren't going to get the truck started again and she called the car dealership to get a tow truck sent. Jake did get the filter off and put some diesel in the truck, but we were never able to get it started.

Finally about 8:30 Molly got a call back that the tow truck was on its way. We decided that we couldn't waste the hard earned gas so we put 5 gallons into my jeep. If we had known earlier that it wouldn't hurt the engine we wouldn't have dumped the 10 gallons that we did!

If you are wondering why Jake is not wearing a shirt, it was SOAKED!! As you can see his pants are also soaked but we didn't think it would be very appropriate for him to be prancing around the parking lot in his tighty whities, so he left the pants on. After all of that sweating Jake was extremely dehydrated and sick to his stomach from the gas fumes. He was up most of last night and decided to stay home from work today to recover.

After talking to a friend today we have also discovered that apparently the new diesel trucks have something called a governor fuel cut off that kills the truck if it detects the wrong type of fuel and can only be reset by a mechanic. So, even if we would have gotten all the gas out, we would not have been able to get the truck started. Note to self, call friend next time have car trouble, save self MUCH time and husband much hurt!!

Happy Birthday!!

We want to wish Keith (Jake's Dad) and Kim (Jake's Aunt) a VERY happy birthday!! You two have both been wonderful to us and we appreciate all that you have done to support us through the good times and the bad!

We hope you have a WONDERFUL birthday!!

Love always,

Jake and Heather

Baby Laughs

I've been having a little trouble trying to figure out how to follow my last post with something equally interesting and I've come to a conclusion. Folks, I don't always have something creative to write to you. Sorry, our lives are just NOT that interesting.

However, I do want to try to post something on here as often as I can, so today I'm going to do my book report on Jenny McCarthy's other book, baby laughs.

I have to say after my disappointment in the first book I was a little apprehensive about reading this one. However, since I bought them both, I figured I might as well get my $25.81 out of them. By the way, now that I've finished them, I'm selling them both for the bargain price of $24.99, let me know if your interested!!

This book was MUCH better than the first one. Jenny truly seems to have done some MAJOR maturing during her first year as a mother. In the first book she talked about how she had spent tons of money on baby clothes and accessories. In the second book she talks about how she bought a $150 stroller and while she saw people with bigger and more expensive strollers she decided that she was not going to waste her money.

Over all, while the book still jumps around a bit, it is not nearly as distracting as it was in the first one. She still has the style of each chapter being it's own mini book but they seem to be organized much more effectively. I would say this book has made me realize that while people may not seem ready to have children, actually having one changes everything.

Being a mom happens in an instant, and I think for Jenny it really seems to have helped her to put her focus more on what is important (her child) and less on what is not (who has to most expensive whatever.) I guess I realize now why people say you are never ready to be a mom until you become one.

Throwing a Hot Dog Down A Hallway

I will steal a phrase from the Jenny McCarthy book I just read to address my next topic. Before I begin, I feel the need to warn you. Up until now I have been pretty "censored" in my writing. I have not wanted to embarrass anyone so I have stuck to pretty neutral topics. Consider yourself warned... this is not one of those topics. I would say this is an R rated, to maybe NC-17 rated topic.

In other words if you have ever told someone that they have provided you with "too much information" now might be a good time to stop reading. I'm not shy, and while I am not going to divuldge "personal" experiences I am going to talk about a pretty personal topic.

Okay... Parental warnings out of the way here we go. Two weeks ago Jake and I were watching a Discovery Health show called Strictly sex with Dr. Drew. On this show they were talking about a new surgery that they are performing called vaginal rejuvination surgery. (Also known as Vaginoplasty, or Colorrhaphy)

Am I the only person in the world that had NO idea this existed? Okay, at the time I just assumed this was something experimental or new age until I read about it again in Jenny McCarthy's book. She referred to her husbands fear that after she had a baby it would be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. Apparently some women just don't feel that their "hallway" is narrow enough. Or maybe the problem is that their husband has one of those skinny little bun length hotdogs instead of a ballpark plumper. Either way... they feel an "adjustment" of sorts in necessary.

Now doing a google search for this topic got me to a couple of different places. First of all there are the places that list this as a procedure for women who have experienced "vaginal looseness" from childbearing, trauma, or aging. They stress that this is a repair surgery for a perfectly normal condition and they can help to restore you to a normal size. (What exactly is a normal size? Do they have a tool that measures this?)

Then there is the Laser Vaginal Rejuvination Institute of Michigan. Holy Hell!! There is an entire institute devoted to something I didn't even know existed until two weeks ago. Their motto is that they "empower women with knowledge, choice, and alternatives." Sounds so professional doesn't it? There is even a picture for your viewing pleasure. I will let you go to the site and experience that one on your own. They advertise that they can create a tight hallway for any woman to enhance her sexual gratification. (I told you this was not G rated!)

If that isn't enough... they also have a procedure called designer laser vaginoplasty where they can create for you, for a low low price a designer vulva, (they describe it as something a Playboy Playmate would have) and new improved inner vaginal lips!! So now, not only can you have surgery to look like a Playmate on the top but you can also have surgery to look like a Playmate on the underside!!

I don't know about you but I think this might be going a little far. From most of the women I've talked to having one or two children "naturally" has not destroyed their hallway, nor have their husbands been disappointed enough to complain. Hell after birthing a child down that hallway they should be lucky you even let them enter it at all!!

Not to mention the myriad of problems that could arise from doing "elective" surgery to this area of your body. Elective surgery on your chest is one thing. If they cut a nerve, yes it would be damaging, but you can get by without feeling your boob. However, could you go the rest of your life without feeling your hallway?? Are you prepared to be the star of the next article entitled "Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Surgery Destroyed my Orgasm!"? I know I'm not!!

Belly Laughs

Yesterday I read a book by Jenny McCarthy called Belly Laughs. The book is advertised as the naked truth about pregnancy and childbirth. As most of you know, my sister-in-law is pregnant. As I was asking her questions about her pregnancy she mentioned that I should just read this book.

So, I purchased this book, along with her other book, Baby Laughs, the naked truth about the first year of mommyhood off of Amazon.com. First of all, I must say I was VERY disappointed. Molly is 21 and has a totally different view of the world than I do, so I suppose I should have expected that what she finds phenomenal, I might not enjoy as much.

Now, don't get me wrong. There are some mildly amusing parts to this book. Like when she explains how her husband voiced his "concerns" about sex after the baby. He didn't want it to be "like throwing a hot dog down a hallway." Yes, I laughed at that. But in great part the book is filled with two page chapters about various parts of pregnancy and her experience. They do not seem to flow together in any order and over all, I didn't really learn ANYTHING I didn't already know.

Some of you who know me, and know Molly, are reading this thinking what did you expect? You and Molly are NOTHING alike. And now, having read this, I know it's true. I hate to be stereotypical but this book reads exactly like I would expect it to, knowing who Jenny McCarthy is and what she has done for a career for the vast majority of her life.

I guess my main point is, if someone tells you to read this book, please, don't go out and buy it. I read the entire thing in one day and would not at all be sad to part with it. You can have mine!!

Motivation

Today is one of these days..
With perhaps a little of this mixed in....

I have been struggling for something to write about all morning and have come to the conclusion that today just might not be my day.

This morning I had a mild OCD moment where I decided my life could not continue unless I swept my floors. Right then and there I had to get rid of the dog and cat fur that builds up in the corners of our wood floor faster than Jack scarfs down his dog food. So, consequently I did not arrive at work until 8:30 this morning.

Since I was late, and am now STARVING at 11:00, taking a half hour lunch to make up for it is probably not in the cards. Therefore, I should probably make the most of the time I am actually at work by working. (Novel concept huh?) I will try my best to think of something incredibly witty to write about tomorrow!!

Chocolate IV

Do you think I could invent such a thing? I could just hook myself up and infuse my blood with chocolate goodness. Of course I don't think there is enough chocolate in the WORLD to make me feel better today. Flo is trotting down the block singing her marry tune and I am not at all ready to welcome her in!!

Everything today is just grating on me. I need an office where I can just go in and close the door!! As it is every time someone merrily walks past me I just want to turn around and rip their head off. Can't you walk SOMEWHERE ELSE?? Do you REALLY need to go down this particular hallway for the 10th time today?? Huh? Do you?

Any minute now my head may begin to spin around wildly and my eyes may begin flashing green!! So I am apologizing in advance to anyone whose head I may rip off and flail across the room! Excuse me now... I have to go find more chocolate.

Drinking fountain

I will admit it... our cats are SPOILED!! Instead of drinking out of a water dish, they have what we refer to as the "kitty fountain."

As you can see, it is essentially a water purification system for cats. Now, in our defense, I bought this for Lex when I was in college, so if you hear us talk about being poor know that this was not a recent purchase.

That said, our cats seem to really enjoy it. Lex drinks with his feet (we've been told that is a characteristic of Maine Coon cats which he might be). Pixie prefers to get her tongue right up to the spout where the water is coming out, which makes her the noisiest of the three.

And Sylvester? Well why would he want to drink out of the kitty fountain when he could do this:

This morning when I got up I found him, where else, in the bathtub. Only this time he was staring up and I couldn't figure out what he was doing. Then a drip fell from the washcloth we hang from the shower head. Apparently he couldn't get any water out of the spout and was resigning himself to waiting for drops from the washcloth.

In the bathtub he is a full 10 to 15 feet away from the kitty fountain. Don't you think it would have been easier to drink out of that then to wait for drips from the washcloth?

Shocking for Worms?

Maybe I am out of the loop... but I had NO idea that people did this!!

Two people die in two days when they tried to use electricity to shock worms out of the ground.

My next question becomes who would let their five year old stick an electrical device into the wet ground to bring worms to the surface? He was five... wouldn't a shovel have been more appropriate??

Mall of America

This weekend Danette and I thought it would be a lot of fun to cart two kids clear to Minnesota to walk around the Mega Mall. Overall, it was a decent trip. Emma only threw herself on the floor twice, (she's three) and Bryce was relatively happy the whole time.

We left at 9:30 and packed everything but formula. So, we stopped at her brother's house on the way up to use the bathrooms and then at Babies R Us to pick up formula. By the time we arrived at the mall it was 2:00 and neither of the kids had eaten and Emma had not taken a nap.

We quickly scuttled to Pizza Hut and ate. Pizza Hut, however, is located in Camp Snoopy and looking back, we should have just stayed there. All Emma talked about the entire day was Camp Snoopy and the air jump that she wanted to do. I think if we would have just let her jump first thing we might have had a quieter day!!

After lunch we walked around for a little while and then stumbled upon the Aquarium. As we were waiting in line Emma was talking about all the animals we were going to see. Most of what she mentioned were sea horses, and other fish, but I think one of her favorites right away were the turtles.
In the Aquarium after you walk through a fake woods you go into the underwater tunnel. I do have to say of all the underwater tunnels I have been in this one is on the top of my list. It is REALLY long and has 4 different types of ecosystems. Minnesota, Mississippi, Tropical, and Sharks (Ocean). This was by far Bryce's favorite part.

After the underwater tunnel Emma got to make a shark tooth necklace and color a picture of a shark.

The next highlight of the day for the kids was Lego land. Notice, Bryce seems confused by the legos. No one explained to him that they weren't his mid afternoon snack.

Our final Adventure of the day involved a dinosaur exhibit. We were unsure whether the kids would be scared or not but Emma assured us that she would be fine so we went in.Looks like they are enthused right? What you don't see is that they are not pointing to the dinosaurs but instead to the Ferris wheel that is in Camp Snoopy. While they thought the dinosaurs were okay, they were far more interested in the bright lights and rides.

There was a part in the exhibit where you could dig for fossils. Since Bryce has never seen sand, I think this was one of his favorite parts.

We stayed there and let the kids play for several minutes before we moved on.Here are two of the kids next to the "not so scary dinosaurs"
All in all, it was a decent day, but I think if we were to EVER consider it again I would insist on a two day trip!! Both Danette and I were wiped out yesterday. The kids of course both fell asleep in the car on the way home and were up and raring to go by 7:00.

She Does Exist

Pixie... the cat that 95% of you probably don't even know we own. Normally she just hangs out upstairs in the spare bedroom, but lately, she's been coming downstairs more. Do you think it could have anything to do with the fact that I've cut back their food?

When we took them to the vet a couple of months ago I was told that my kitties were "pleasingly plump" and I might want to do something about that. So, I cut back their food. Pixie used to come downstairs and eat at night when no one was around but now, if she waits that long this is what she will find....


Notice the lack of food in that dish and the EVIL look Sylvester is giving me? This picture was taken at 9:30 at night after he had moved the dish away from the wall to make sure he got EVERY last crumb from in and around the dish. So, if Pixie doesn't eat during the day, chances are... she's not going to get to eat at all!

London

I was all set to post a couple of picutres of Sylvester when I came in this morning. Then, walking through the skywalk I passed a TV that was talking about this:

Two weeks to the day after the first bombings in England three London Underground stations have been evacuated following reports of incidents of trains. This just seems un-imaginable to me that it is happening in London.

Almost four weeks ago my sister-in-law returned from a three year stay on an airforce base about two hours away from London. I guess when I think of England, I think of a place much like the United States. (And no... it's not just because they speak English) I realize that they have a queen, but I still think of it as a mostly democratic country, much different than Iraq and Afghanistan. These are the places that you think of bombings and terror, not England.

It really makes you think, could something like that happen here? I know that is what the terrorists want, to make people afraid, but I still can't help but think about it. My thoughts and prayers are with all of those people over there. No one should have to go through this.

Guard Dog

Halt!! Who Goes There??

This is Squeak. I know, she doesn't look like a dog, think of her as a smaller bread. Please don't break her heart and tell her she is not a dog. When we are outside, she follows us EVERYWHERE. Then, every night she lays on the back step and guards the house.

Last night we were awakened to what sounded like our entire front yard blowing up. At exactly 3:38 am I sat straight up in bed and to the sound of boom, boom, boom, boom!! We had our blinds drawn but could see flashes of light through the shade. I didn't know if someone was shooting at the house or if the transformer had blown up.

Jake, Jake... someone is outside!! He jumped up and opened the blinds only to see nothing. At this point I thought maybe I had imagined it. Maybe it was a highly vivid dream. About that time, it happened again, a little further down the road. Apparently some kids (I'm assuming kids but for all I know it was some drunk adults, or just really immature adults) decided that it would be really fun to light some Black Cats and throw them out the car window as they drove by.

We were not NEARLY as amused as they were!! Of course Jake says to me, should we chase them down? Yeah hunny, that's just what I want to do at 3:38 in the morning. Did I mention it was THREE freaking THIRTY EIGHT in the morning!! Since I was up I decided to go downstairs and use the facilities.

At the bottom of the stairs I looked out the window onto the back porch, and there was Squeak, lying on the porch staring out towards the back door. She was perfectly poised, perfectly awake and didn't appear to be frightened in any way. She was just lying there, guarding her family from the attack of the firework kids.

Spoiled Animals

What a rough life I lead!!

Excuse me... you're disrupting my nap!!

For those of you who aren't familiar... this is Lex. He is one of our three indoor cats. He is, without a doubt, my baby. I got him first, and he was a rescue kitty from the Animal Rescue League. Granted, he has his quirks, like he talks... A LOT!! But then again, so do I... maybe that's why we get along so well.

Lately, I have been either talking to, or hearing about people who get rid of their animals after they have children and/or treat them differently. I have been AMAZED at the number of people who have asked what we are going to do with our cats and dogs once we have kids. While I don't have human children, I do have animal children (you are looking at one right above.) I can not imagine treating my animals any differently or getting rid of them when I have kids.

When I was a baby my cat Mouse slept in the crib with me. (No, not the one from the picture a few days ago, that would make one REALLY old cat, but that is where I got the name.) Whenever we decide to have children, I will invest in a crib tent for when the baby is really little. I don't think my cats would purposely hurt a baby, but I would not put it past Sylvester to lay on his or her head to keep warm.

That said, once the baby is old enough to roll over and push the cat off if they don't want it there, the crib tent will be gone. A little fur never hurt me as a child, and I don't know why my children should be any different. I have many fond memories of growing up with animals and I hope that one day, my children will have the same.

Jeep for sale??

Lately I have been contemplating selling my jeep. The problem I'm running into though is that I like my jeep. If I were to sell it I would want to replace it with another jeep. I've been digging through used car sections of the dealers websites and have yet to find a suitable replacement. The ones I like, even the ones that are 4 years older are not THAT much less expensive. It seems like a lot of hassle to trade it in and only save $50 per month, not to mention extend my payments another 12 months!!

Ah, the great learning experiences of life. If I could go back and get my old jeep I would. It was a 2002, there was NOTHING wrong with it... and best of all... it would have been paid off it February of 2007. Now I'm stuck with a Jeep that will not be paid off until August of 2009. Next time you all hear me saying, man I think I might get a new vehicle... please smack me. I give you permission!!

For now, I guess I am just stuck with the one I have. With the Iowa winter road conditions I'm not willing to trade down to a car (especially since we have a tendency not to plow our driveway unless there is at least 5 inches of snow). I don't like the old body style of the jeep so that leaves me with 1999 or newer or switching to a different type of SUV. Is there any type of SUV that is better? I have been incredibly happy with all of our jeeps and hate to get something else and be disappointed.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could just rewind our lives and give ourselves a good smack every once in awhile? Hey idiot... don't do that... you will regret it later!!

Hot Enough?

Mouse, lying on the back porch last night

The only thing we don't understand is why she didn't just go outside and lay under a shade tree? It would have been SO much cooler than lying on the back porch. Of course, it was 7:00, and I hadn't yet fed her dinner, so she wouldn't want to get TOO far away from the food dish since she is so skinny and may not have the strength to make it back!!

Omaha Zoo

On July 2nd Jake and I went to the Omaha Zoo with Matt, Danette, Emma, & Bryce. After we got home, I was looking through my pictures and noticed that ALL of the pictures are of animals. I think I have two of Emma and one of Bryce, but other than that, just animals. It didn't really occur to me at the zoo as I was taking their family picture and watching Danette shoot frame after frame of the kids that I was not doing the same. However, looking back I've come to realize that having kids must change the way you look at photography. Suddenly the attraction, in this case the zoo, is not so important as capturing your childrens reaction to the attraction. Hopefully I will acquire this skill when we do have children so that I can get more than just pictures of a bunch of animals. For now, click on the picture below and it will take you to a website where you can view a slide show of the animals. Excuse me if I have mislabled any of them. I have about 10 pictures of different monkeys and I couldnt tell you which one was which so they have names like, white monkey, etc.!! :-)

Fake Abs

Last night on Inside Edition they had a story about the new rage, airbrushing on fake abs.
Apparently they can airbrush your stomach to make it look like you have a six pack even if you don't.





While I had never heard of this before.... if you do a search on google for fake abs the first story you will find is about Miriah Carey and how she....apparently drew on fake abs before performing in the Macy's 4th of July Spectacular.




My only question is.... do you think they could do him??

Is that really necessary?

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently as I have just found out, doesn't like me very much wrote me some REALLY hurtful things in an e-mail. Most of her attacks were on me as a person, and my only thinking is... is it really necessary to tear someone down to make a point? Why do people do that? It is perfectly acceptable not to agree with someone, I do it all the time. However, there is NO reason to degrade someone in the process. It is just fine to say "Heather, I think you are a little controlling and sometimes you need to lay off a bit." However to attack me as a person and to say "You're a control freak, always trying to control everybody and everything! I'm tired of you always trying to make Jake out to be a second class citizen and act as if he is inferior to you and your family. You put him down every chance you can (in front of people)!" is just mean and nasty.

If you don't like the way I'm acting tell me... but DON'T attack me as a person!! And more importantly, if you have not had a conversation with me in a year and four months and have not seen your son, or me, in that same year and four months... butt the HELL out!! How do you know anything about our relationship when you have not been around??

Just a thought. :-)

The Wedding

Okay... I have come to the conclusion that I have gotten really good at writing about absolutely nothing on this site. That, however, is not the point of this website. While at the moment, my husband is the only other person besides me that knows it exists, the idea is not to keep it that way forever. Therefore, I must begin to write about events in our life so that I feel comfortable with it before I tell everyone in the world about it. So, here goes... first "real" entry.

It was around 8:30 on Friday evening by the time we got to Carroll to begin our wedding weekend. We quickly checked into the hotel room (which Jake's dad paid for… TOTALLY cool!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, we owe you immensely!!) and then headed to Jake's Uncle and Aunt's house for the rehearsal dinner. Most of the food was gone when we got there, but there were still several people so we ate quick and then mingled. It was aHawaiiann style thing, which we we certainly not dressed for, but it was fun anyway.

About 10:45 we had everything cleaned up, because it looked like it was going to rain, and Jake (who had already helped himself to some tequilaa and SEVERAL beers) wanted to know if I would be really mad if he went to the bar with his cousins. Now I REALLY didn't want him to go as I knew that we had to get up early the next morning for him to go golfing and me to go garage sailing, but he made it a point to ask me in front of EVERYONE and then to continue to ask until I just said okay.

His cousins, knowing our past and knowing I would worry, promised me they wouldn't let anything bad happen so I begrudgingly let him go and then headed back to the hotel. They had wireless internet at the hotel so I stayed up for about an hour checking my e-mail and updating the website. Around 12:00 I tried to call Jake, but I'm sure he couldn't hear me in the bar and so I went to bed.

Oh, did I say bar… let me re-clarify, titty bar!! Yes, you read that right, I let him go to a strip club. Well… I didn't really let him go, I just didn't make a scene about it because I knew he was with some pretty good guys. They had said they were going to the Parana club which was right by our hotel, however, what they forgot to mention, and what I discovered while driving back to our hotel is that the Odyssey club is attached to the Parana club. Now I could have stopped on my way back to the hotel and went in and got him but what would that have solved? So, I just let it fly. However, this Friday my dad is having a bachelor party for my grandpa and there has been talk of them going to the Lumber Yard and I'm NOT thinking that is a good idea. I know his cousins would not let him do anything too stupid, however, I'm not so sure about my dad and the group of guys he hangs out with.

Anyhow… I'm veering. It was 1:15 when Jake got back to the hotel room. He then proceeded to tell me that he had tried to get into the wrong hotel room before making it to ours. I'm sure the people at the Burke were very impressed. (I apologize immensely to you if you happen to be or know these people. I'm sure my drunk husband at your doorstep at 1:00 in the morning was not what you were expecting!) At least he got number right. He said they were up, which I REALLY hope to be true. I guess when he left the bar they told him that his hotel was right next door and he didn't bother to, oh I don't know, look at the sign before he entered. So he just walked in and headed to the room. I'm not sure if they were in the room or in the hallway but either way they politely informed him that he was not, in fact, in the Super 8. You have no idea how many people Jake told that story to this weekend. He thought it was the funniest thing. I guess that's what alcohol will do to you, if I had done it I would be very embarrassed, not sharing it with everyone.

So Saturday we woke up at 7:00 and I had Jake call his dad, who informed him that it was raining and they probably wouldn't be going golfing. Since we were up, and I thought we would still be going garage sailing, we decided to go down and partake in the free continental breakfast. I would have liked to also use the pool but the didn't open until 9:00 am and it closed at 10:00 pm so we did not get to use it the entire time we were there. Have you ever heard of such a thing?

After breakfast, I called Jake's aunt and asked about garage sailing. She informed me that she was too tired and was not going to go, but if I still wanted to, I could come out there and go with Molly(Jake's sister)'s mother-in-law. Looking back on it, I probably should have gone back to bed and gotten some sleep, but I didn't. I rounded up Keith (Jake's Dad)'s girlfriend and we headed out.

As we headed out for the sales the rain only got worse. We went to two towns and got soaked and found NOTHING!! Most of the houses had run down stuff. Nothing like the garage sailing I'm used to. Finally when we were on our way back we stopped in Arcadia. There we found a few things. I ended up with one baby toy and three books. It was disappointing to say the least and by the time we were done I was TIRED!!

Jake, however, was just starting his day. He called as we were at our last garage sale and informed me that he, and his dad, and his uncle were going to breakfast. So, after we left, instead of going back to the hotel and laying down, we stopped to have breakfast with everyone. After breakfast we headed back to the hotel to get ready. It was 11:45 and we had to be at the church at 12:30, so there was a slight rushing around factor to get Jake and I dressed and out the door.

Since we didn't know where the church was we called his dad for directions, however, this man apparently should not be giving directions because he got us TOTALLY lost. He told us to turn on Grant Street and then onto another street, only that street doesn't connect to Grant street!! After we drove around for about 10 minutes I decided to stop and just ask someone. It was at this point that I could tell that Jake, also, should have taken a nap. He was making a HUGE deal out of his dad not answering his phone and us being lost and then made and even bigger deal out of the fact that I wanted to stop and ask for directions. He apologized though, after I got back in the car directions in hand.

So, we finally made it to the church and as it turns out, we were not late at all. It still took another 5 minutes or so for them to get to us for our picture. It was just one photo, taken about 5 times and then more waiting. The wedding didn't start until 2:00 and we were done with pictures at 12:50 or 1:00. It was while we were waiting that I finally got Jake to admit to me where they had been the night before. Although he told me not to mention it to Sara because Hog (Josh, Jake's cousin) didn't want her to know. That a boy Jake… encourage him to start his new marriage out on a lie!!

Finally 2:00 rolled around and the wedding started. It was warm in sancuary so Jake kept trying to drift off. The Father played the song that Josh was supposed to walk the parents in to, but didn't cue Josh to start. So it was over half done before he started walking them down and consequently he ended up walking Sara's parents down the aisle to dead silence. Then instead of hitting the CD button to play cannon in D, which is what all the bridesmaids were supposed to walk down the aisle to, he hit the button for the wedding march. So… they came down the aisle to the wedding march. Luckily, the piano lady was playing for Sara's walk, so at least that didn't get messed up.

Sara looked WONDERFUL!! Her dress was strapless and gathered at the side. It was VERY flattering. I thought it was a perfect choice for her. After the ceremony ended and Sara and Josh escorted out each row and since we were one of the first rows we ended up standing outside for what felt like forever. It was starting to sprinkle and Sara and Josh were supposed to ride around town on a fire truck before going to the reception. Josh is a volunteer fire fighter so he had some of the firemen there. By the time the came out of the church it was sprinkling, so they only did one lap around the block on the fire truck.

From the wedding, we headed back to the hotel so Jake could change. He was wearing a suit which he has owned for around 7 years and is a little snug in the wiast area. He also had on a long sleeved shirt and wanted to put on a short sleeved shirt. When he put on the new shirt he didn't like how it looked with his slightly snug suit pants so we spent 10 minutes debating the appropriateness of him wearing jeans to the reception. He won the argument and ended up in jeans, much to my dismay. After we left the hotel we headed to Clete & Charlotte's. (Molly's in-law's) Kim and Kim were staying there to save money and Clete and Charlotte decided to have a few people over to kill time between the wedding and the reception.

We hung out there for about 30 minutes before deciding we had better head to the reception before we missed the food. We got to the reception in Arcadia about 5:00 and just hung out for a half an hour before they served dinner at 5:30. By 7:00 all of the "dances" were done and half of the guests were well on their way to being three sheets to the wind. It felt like 10:00 even though it was only 7:00. I gave Jake $13 and his dad gave him another $10 to buy drinks on and told him that should be enough.

I was right. By 10:00 he was REALLY plastered but kept trying to convince me that we needed to go to Clete and Charlotte's for a night cap. I was SOO tired from not having slept much the night before that all I wanted to do was go to the hotel and go to bed. He told me he didn't agree with me (well it was more like don't talk to me any more) and went off to dance with his cousin. I could see him talking to her as they were dancing and I figured he was asking her if she would give him a ride or something. After he got done Kenzie came over and sat down next to me and said I tried. That's it… that's all she said, I tried. I asked her later what he had said to her and she said that she couldn't understand most of it but got the general idea that he wanted to go out after the wedding and she told him she didn't think it was a good idea. She thought he should just go back to the hotel and go to sleep.

Finally, at 10:30 they turned the lights on and said the party was over. I was more than ready by this point. Jake tried one more latch ditch effort to get me and/or his dad convinced that we needed to go and have a night cap. Finally he compromised with I'll go back to the hotel if we can order pizza. That, I would agree to.

When we got back to the hotel we discovered that even though it was only 11:05 everything was closed in Carroll. So we decided to walk next door to the sports bar, Bloomers. His dad & Karen met us there and we all ate dinner. Score, another free meal for us, Keith bought. Thank you, Thank You, Thank You, again Keith!! We left the sports bar at 12:00, got back to the hotel room, and I think Jake had passed out by 12:15.

On Sunday it was 10:20 when I sat straight up in bed and said oh crap, we have to check out in 40 minutes! I quickly jumped in the shower and then Jake got in after me. We were dressed and packed with 5 minutes to spare. We decided to ride with Keith and Karen to the present opening/brunch. I think it was around 1:00 when we finally decided that we needed to be getting back home. Keith took us back to our jeep and we drove over to Grandma Donna's to say goodbye to everyone. By 1:30 we were on the road, and none too soon by my standards. We had been going, and going all weekend and I was ready for a break.

Online Gym Class??

Now where was this when I was in highschool?

"The Minneapolis Star Tribune said the courses offer a way for busy students to work in both their state-required academic courses and the electives they want to take.

Historically, Minneapolis school district students who take part in two varsity sports could waive PE. But that policy ended this spring, just as the district's online physical education classes started up.

One PE teacher said the point is to start at whatever fitness level the student has and try to improve that. The course begins and ends with face-to-face meetings between student and teacher."

And somewhere in the middle comes a whole lot of sitting on the couch and eating cheetos!!

I remember highschool... two face to face meetings with a teacher is NOT going to make some of these kids physically active!! What's next online sports?

This Morning

Ladies and Gentleman of the Internet... I have some news...

This morning... are you sitting down?

I... Heather.... are you ready for this??

IRONED my shirt!! No please... no applause necessary!!

I know what you're thinking... she owns an iron?? Yes, hard to believe, but it was a wedding present and I actually remembered where it was!!

I would like to thank everyone for their faith in my domestic abilities... without your belief in me I don't think this day ever would have come.

Cool

Conversation with Jake. Now keep in mind he called me at WORK to tell me this...

Me: Hi, I missed your call, what are you doing?
Jake: Lighting the grass on fire.
Me: What?
Jake: I was using this metal saw and a spark flew off and caught the grass on fire. There is now a 10 foot circle that is burned off.
Me: Did you get it put out?
Jake: Yeah, I turned the sprinkler on it.
Me: Well, that is good... So why did you call me?
Jake: I just thought it was cool.

We are at his cousin's wedding in Carroll right now and he must have told that story to EVERY person at the rehearsal dinner.

Elevator

Believe it or not, if the elevator button is already lit, pushing it again will not, in any way, speed up it's progress!!

Thinking

Is it REALLY necessary to wear a shirt so tight that one can count the hooks on your bra??

Privacy

I am having that age old problem that most bloggers face at one point or another. Where do you draw the line between what you write about and what you keep private? I am well aware that writing about your work can have devastating results, and I am really not up for being dooced. However, at this point in my life that is where I spend 40 hours of my week!!

Then there is my personal life. My husband and I have had a rocky road to say the least, and for the most part, we are pretty open about it. However, there are some things in our lives we have chosen not to share with employers, or co-workers. There are also things that other people in our lives are not aware of. Not because we are afraid of being judged so much as we just don't think it is any of their business. So... I am keenly aware that anyone, friend or foe, could stumble upon this website. And, as much as I love you internet, I'm not sure you are all that good at keeping secrets.

Finally, there is our families. I can't really come on here and rant and rave about family members or new dramas and expect NO ONE to be mad at me. If I come on and talk about some family news, how do I know that the person I am complaining about won't read this website and be offended?

Decisions... decisions... decisions!!

Jackson

Now this appears to be a new low in the United States Justice System.

One of the jurors who acquitted Michael Jackson on all counts said he believes the pop star is "probably" a molester, but the prosecution didn't prove it.

Hello Internet

Hello ALL!!

Since I am new to this, many of you will only be reading this if you are scrolling through the archives of this site. I'm hoping to become more creative, and more interesting as time goes on. Then, and only then will I e-mail links of this site to my friends and relatives.

So, for now... hello internet... it's good to be here!!