Belly Pictures

Okay Tink... since you asked I will oblige you with pictures. Although I warn you... I am not to that cute belly stage yet, I am more in that is she pregnant or is she just eating too many twinkies stage.
This is my belly at 4 weeks 3 days. At the time, I thought I was big. Now I look back and think that was a pretty small belly!!

This is a picture of us on vacation when I was 5 weeks 3 days pregnant. I look at this picture and all I can think is... retain water much??

Then finally, here is my belly tonight at 15 weeks 1 day. Notice the rediculously stupid looks on my face. Yeah... that's the usual look of shock and bewilderment I wear lately. As in aliens have invaded my body, please help me!! :-)

So are you all happy now? Not too much to look at yet.

Bad Blogger

Please accept my sincerest apologies for what I can only describe as my BAD blogging lately. I really have no excuses except that every time I think about something good to post about I actually have work to do and then when I get time my brain is all mushy. I have shopping stories to write about from last weekend (yes like over a week ago) and also from last week. However, since no is not going to be the time to blog about them I will tide you over with baby news.

On Thursday I had my 14 week appointment. They said all of my blood tests from last time came back fine. What that means I have no idea because I am a BAD pregnant person and I did not bring a notebook to take notes and make them tell me about every test they did because let's face it... if they say it's fine that's about all of the medical lingo I'm going to understand anyway. I have another appointment in two weeks for an AFP test which tests for Spina Bifida and Down Syndrome and then my regular appointment in four weeks.

For those of you who are going to question my decision to have this test, please know that we did not come to this decision without a little thought. No, the results of the test will not change our outcome but it will help me, super planner that I am, to get the best prenatal care I can and also to be better prepared for what challenges may lie ahead. I want my baby's birthday to be a super joyous day and I think it will put a worry cloud over it if we are not prepared. Nuff said?

The heartbeat was around 148 which just further supports my theory that I'm having a boy!! (I know, it's too early to tell. A girl I work with said her daughter's heartbeat was around 150 so I'm just guessing here.)

Other than that, things are going great and since I have been so sick I have been given permission by my doctor to eat whatever stays down. He said the baby will get what it needs from me so I should just eat what I can. (I know... within limits.) Mmmm... Cheetos!!

Hotter than H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

Do people in hell have 112 degree heat?

Because if not...

I fear we may have pissed someone off...........

Second Hand, Second Best?

On Wednesday, yes... I know I'm a week behind, I went wedding dress shopping with my sister. Well she shopped, I just oohed and awwed. Anyways, there was this girl there who was trying on a wedding dress that I tried on four years ago when I was dress shopping.

So, my dad brought up this point: Why is there no second hand market for wedding dresses? Obviously if they have the same style in a store for four years it is not all about the changes in fashion. Also, they are SOO expensive new, you think people would just be flocking to save money but this does not seem to be the case.

I think it may have something to do with every woman wanting her dress to be "her own" and no one else's. Personally my dress is in a box in my closet. I will probably never wear it again and may only look at it once or twice if my kids ask. But, I did the same thing that lots of people do. I just couldn't bear to part with it so I had it cleaned and stuffed into a box to gather dust in my closet. Makes sense doesn't it?

So, here's your discussion topic for the day. What is your opinion as to why there is very little market for second hand wedding dresses? If you are married, did you even consider looking for one or was it new all the way? Finally, where is your dress now? (Or your mom's or sister's or friend's if you are not married.)

Daycare Dilemma

Today I went to two different daycares to get tours and try to pick somewhere to send the munchkin. My first beef... both of these centers have waiting lists of one year. How am I supposed to call and sign up one year in advance? That would mean I would have to sign up before I ever become pregnant. Does this seem strange to anyone but me?

Okay, now on to my conundrum. I liked both of these centers. The prices are similar ($5 difference per week) and they are both approximately the same distance from my house. There are only a few small differences, but things I think could make or break the decision.

Center #1: Large and only about 10 years old. The door is locked when you come in and the parents get a punch code to enter in and open the door to go back to drop off or pick up their child. The class size is not too large (8 infants age 6 weeks to 6 months, 8 infants age 6 months to walking, etc.) but the teachers did not really seem all that engaged in the children. Now, I went at 1:00 so it was nap time in a lot of the rooms and that could have something to do with it.

My biggest turn off, was I made an appointment with the director's assistant to meet with the director today and when I got there she was not there. So, one of the college students showed me around but I didn't get to ask some of my specific questions nor was I given a handbook of rules and regulations, etc.

The biggest thing I like about this center is the quality of the activities. They go on field trips a lot, some of the older school age classes are up to 4 days per week. They also have large play yards and the four year old room had in it what I can only describe as a two story wooden fort. So, if I take the munchkin there, they would have opportunities to do many things as they grow.

Center #2: Smaller center, housed in an old church. The door is not locked but all of the teachers seem to be aware if someone new enters as the front door goes by the office and the back door goes into the school age room. When you come in there is a sign in sheet that they check every day to make sure each child is signed in and out so everyone is accounted for. The class size is not too large (8 infants age 6 weeks to 6 months, 8 infants age 6 months to 18 months, etc.). I went to this center at 2:00 so most of the children were still napping or just waking up from nap.

My biggest turn off, was that the equipment is older and there is not as much diversity. The playground was just remodeled but it is still not large. Some of the rooms did not appear to have many toys in them and I would worry that as the child gets older (school age) they would be bored at this center.

The biggest thing I like about this center is the teachers. They seem to be older and more established and they all seemed much more interactive with the children. Also, the assistant director that showed me around really did a great job of explaining how things work and making me feel at ease. They go on field trips at this center but I think that they are limited to 2 or 3 days a week.

So, here's where I'm confused. On the way home from the second center the director called from Center #1 and apologized for her absence and also told me that they do have an opening in the beginning of March and for a $25 registration fee they can guarantee me a spot. I also paid a $30 registration fee to Center #2 but they could not guarantee me a spot until June. They said something MAY open up sooner, but that was their guarantee for now.

I think until we decide which one we want to go with I will pay the other registration fee and then we will have a guaranteed spot. So, here's where you come in. What is more important the wonderful vibe I got about the teachers at Center #2 or the "stuff" at Center #1? Personally I am leaning towards #2, but they can't guarantee me a spot.

It's not that I got a bad vibe at Center #1. I think that the munchkin will be adequately cared for and not in any danger if I take them there, I just feel like Center #2 is more "homey." As I write this I am kind of convincing myself except for the they can't take me until June problem.

So, I'm just going to stop now and open up the floor. Even if you don't have children or have never had to make this choice because you stayed home I'm still interested in everyone's opinion. What do you think is the most important thing to look for in a center? What is the least important?

Why didn't I think of that?

First a small request. The people whom I'm about to vent about are my close friends and or family members. Please don't attack them in the comments. I love all of these people very much and so I will not tell you who they are to protect their identity. The things they have said, I'm sure, were not meant to be hurtful. However, I do need to vent about a few things, because whether they know it or not what they say hurts my feelings or just plain angers me (mostly because I am so close to these people and let's face it, I'm overly hormonal) Okay... nuff said.

#1) "I hope you are going to loose all of that baby weight before my wedding. I don't want any fat people in my wedding."

#2) "You know that dog smells like dog." (This is unusual only because he is usually showered 2-4 times a week and generally smells like shampoo)

"I don't smell anything."

"Oh well maybe it's a heightened smell thing with pregnancy."

"You don't smell him... it's all in your head"

"Enough you two, you don't need to fight. You know you don't have to talk about your pregnancy all the time like I do this because I'm pregnant, etc."

Okay.. you ask me how I am. For 6 weeks I have been hanging my head over the toilet or been in bed because.... HELLO.... I'm pregnant. Would you prefer I just say I'm wonderful. I'm been sitting on the couch eating bon bons? From now on... no mention. I'll just discuss with other people.

#3) "You know you wanted to be pregnant and now you're complaining about it."

"Yes, I wanted to be pregnant... I didn't want to be sick."

"Well, you asked for it. What did you think would happen. You need to just stop complaining about it and deal with it."

See aforementioned DON'T ASK HOW I'VE BEEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW. Oh, with a side of no one in our family including our mother was sick so I was not sure what to expect.

AND FINALLY... as always... I've saved the best for last....

#4) "So I suppose the fact that I've been hanging my head over the toilet for 6 weeks is all in my head."

"You're only sick because you don't eat right."

You hear that girls. If you don't want to be sick all you have to do is stick to vegetables and fruit. Oh wait... I threw those up do... dang the luck!!

Cured

Mmmm... Blueberry mini muffins....

I'm on my second package in an hour.

Does that mean I'm cured?

Week End Review

It has been brought to my attention that my absence from this website is very uncharacteristic of me and I have received a few e-mails inquiring as to my safety and health. I'm alive, rest assured. The problem has really been that nothing note worthy has happened to me over these past 10 days.

Of course those things that are note worthy tend to fall into the TMI category. With several of them bordering on TMFI. However, since you all have asked, I’m going to tell. Consider this your warning you may want to just turn off you computer screen now.

Still with me? Alright… don’t say you weren’t warned. First and foremost I have updated the baby’s website. I have this wonderful knack for remembering small meaningless details so I was able to create the back entries without much difficulty. Now ask me about the big important things and I probably have no idea but what did I eat two years ago when I went to the state fair… I could probably tell you.

Now, on to what’s been happening with me. Let’s see on the 30th I was sick. I went on a boat (because no one ever said I was smart) and the rocking back and forth amazingly did not help me to feel any better. That weekend, you guessed it… still feeling crappy. Of course for the weekend I got the added bonus of getting to sit on the toilet the correct way when I was ill. Like I told someone who asked, I’ve been sick every day, it just depends on they day which end is over the toilet. (See… I told you to stop reading about two paragraphs ago!!)

By Monday I had not thrown up in two days and was feeling pretty proud of myself. I was a little tired, but other than that thought that I had made it to 12 weeks and should certainly be feeling a whole lot better soon. Of course the munchkin had his/her own plan about that one. I proceeded to get sick Monday night and continued to go down hill all day Tuesday.

By Tuesday night at 8:00 I could no longer keep anything down. No liquids, no solids, nothing. Since I had eaten and drank so very little anyway all day on Tuesday by the time I went to bed my head was hurting and I knew if I couldn’t get anything down in the morning I would have to call the doctor.

When I woke up on Wednesday I decided to try saltines. One saltine down, one saltine right back up. It was at that point I knew two things. First of all, I wasn’t going to work and second of all if I didn’t call the doctor and get some medicine for this I was going to be in big trouble. I called the doctor’s office at 8:15 but they didn’t call back until 9:30.

Once the nurse heard the problem she said she needed to talk to the doctor and she would call me back. Another 15 minutes later she called and told me she would be calling in a prescription for me. Of course, since I couldn’t keep ANYTHING down they couldn’t give me an oral medicine. What’s that you ask? Yes… you read right. I can’t take it orally dear!!

I could tell that they pharmacy tech was kind of uneasy when she was telling me how to administer the medicine but that that point, I would stick whatever where ever just to be able to eat again. Now see, right about now you’re wishing you had heeded my advice and just stopped reading at the beginning of the story. But you didn’t did you? And now these words will be burned on the back of your eyeballs for months!!

Luckily while the medicine SUCKS to take it works WONDERS!! By 1:00 I was able to eat something and began drinking large quantities of Gatorade to try to replenish electrolytes and get rid of my awful headache. The medicine only has one side effect and that is that it makes you pretty tired. So I slept from 3:00 until 6:30, got up took more medicine, ate and went back to bed at 9:00.

By Thursday I figured my 5 day weekend was probably enough and maybe I should work for two days. Of course since I had been gone for 5 days I had tons of things to get done, hence the reason I wasn’t able to spend all day updating all of you on my condition. I have not had to take more medicine since Wednesday and have been slowly feeling better and better every day.

Today marks the beginning of 13 weeks so maybe I will finally get to start experiencing that wonderful second trimester everyone talks about.

So, there you have it. That is all you missed. Not much huh? You can now return to trying to banish all of those images that I just gave you from your mind!!

Slower Pace

Lately I've been feeling a lot like Diane Keaton in that 80's movie Baby Boom. Have you all seen it? The scene that keeps playing in my head is the one where she is pushing the baby stroller down the street and she keeps getting passed by all of these business women. So, she tries to keep up, but then finally gives up and resigns herself to the slower pace.

That is me lately. I used to be a really fast walker. My mother practically sprints everywhere she goes, so I had to keep up. But lately, instead of Jake telling me to wait up, I have been the one telling him to slow down. Why is he in such a hurry?

I'm not sure how it happened really. Maybe it was the turtles pace I had to move at when I thought I was going to be sick every 5 minutes. Maybe it was the fact that for awhile there, after I first got pregnant, I got winded really easily so I had to slow it down. Who knows, but whatever it was, now that I've slowed it down, I actually enjoy my slower gait.

It seems strange to me that without me knowing it, this little one is already preparing me for what is ahead. The worry, the being up 5 times a night, the slower pace of life. Every day I am more and more amazed at how things are changing, and s/he isn't even here yet.

Addicted

I have a confession to make. I think I am developing a habit. It threatens to be more addictive that crack (not that I've tried crack... but you know... so I've heard). I've only done it once, but today it is all I can think about. It has consumed my whole being and all I want to do is run home and do it again.

What is this awful thing you ask?

I am addicted to the fetal doppler. Yes, that thing that they have in the doctors office that lets you hear the heartbeat of your baby. I rented one. Now I think it will need to be pried from my hands.

I thought maybe at 11w2d it would be to early to hear the heartbeat but after about 10 minutes or so of looking I stumbled upon it. And it was GLORIOUS!! Averaging about 170 beats per minute, I could have listened to it all day.

As I was sitting there, listening to it, all of the crap and the worries of this week just sort of melted away. You see, the reason I haven't posted this week, even though I have felt 100% better, was because on Tuesday we found out that Jake had been downsized. His little company had added about 100 jobs last fall anticipating huge growth but it just didn't happen. They weren't getting any bids and they had people laid off since April.

In the back of our minds we kept wondering if this was a possibility since Jake was one of the new employees and he had been laid off for a month in April, then worked for a month and then been laid off again I kept wondering how long they were going to string him along before they realized that they really weren't going to get the work to keep all of their "new" employees busy.

Finally, on Tuesday, we got the word that they had decided that they were never going to get enough work to keep everyone busy and the newest employees were the first to be cut. That, unfortunately meant Jake. So the rest of this week has been spent with worries about money, and insurance, and all that jazz. Luckily his dad has his own company and Jake is working for him. We're unsure if it is temporary or permanent at this time, since the construction industry is in sort of a slump.

However, last night, listening to that little woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh in my belly made all of those concerns just melt away. It is such a miracle that I can listen to a heartbeat inside of me that is not mine. I just can't get over it. And at that moment, I knew that no matter what, we would make this work. All that is really important is wrapped up in that wonderful sound and everything else will come as it comes.

Out of the Darkness

There is a light at the end of the tunnel... I can see it!!

After spending all weekend in bed wishing that I could just be tranquilized and wake up in a few months this morning I woke up and...

I felt pretty much the same. See you thought I was going to say I was miraculously 100% better didn't you? This is not a fairy tale people, this is real life. Get a grip.

I did manage to stomach about half of my breakfast, take my vitamins, and head off to work though. In the skywalk the smell of all the coffee shops about killed me, so I think I will be walking outside from now on.

About 8:30... here is where the miracle happened. I started to feel better. I already felt about 75% better than this weekend but slowly the nausea started to go away. And now...

Can I do a little I don't feel sick jig? Would that be unprofessional?

So, knock on some wood for me would ya? I'm just praying that this good feeling lasts and I can finally get back to my life!!

New Blog...

UPDATED: 6/23/06 9:12 AM

Okay you all, since you are cleaver and creative I need your help thinking of a name for a new blog. I would like to move my babies online website, which I am less than thrilled with, to a blogspot blog. Unfortunately my creativity is pretty much non-existent. (I know what you are thinking... NO WAY... but she's an accountant. Pick yourselves up off the floor.)

This is where you, my creative people, come in. I had thought of babyhamilton.blogspot but I thought that might be too generic. Also depending on how all of this plays out I may leave the MAJOR baby talk over on that site for this and any future children. Of course there will be talk here, because this is my life, but I want to try to keep this site about our family life and leave the other site for the weekly/monthly updates.

So, channel your creative genius and give me some good ideas!!

Okay... so lacking any actual creativity, I've created the new site. Look to your right... no your other right... see where it says baby Hamilton.... that is the link to the new site. That is where I will put every boring detail of this pregnancy and all the weekly/monthly updates about the little one so as not to put all of my readers to sleep. I figure this way if you want to hear me gush about morning sickness and poopy diapers 24/7 you can mosey on over. If not you can stay here and read the scaled down version of my gushing!! :-) (Oh yes... there will still be gushing!!)

Hide and Seek

Can you find the kitty in this picture?? Keep in mind this is the same cat who thinks that he can hide under our bottom stair. The stair that has a 1/2 inch lip on it. Apparently if he covers his head with his paws you can not see him. We may need to work on that one when the baby gets here. If he doesn't hide better than this he's going to be VERY sorry when that tail and hair pulling monster chases him down!!

To Clean or Not to Clean...

Apparently this is a question that my husband NEVER asks himself!! And if he does, he apparently ALWAYS comes to the conclusion that the later is a better answer than the former.

Case in point. On Sunday night he cooked brauts. On Monday morning this is the state in which I found my kitchen...















Now... bonus points for those of you who can guess how long it stays like this?

Anyone?

Monday night right? Surely he got home from work and cleaned out the pan....

Nope too easy. Okay... then Tuesday. He wouldn't let it sit there for longer than that would he?

Once again... WRONG ANSWER!!

That's right folks... it is now Thursday. THURSDAY!! And my kitchen STILL looks like that!! I am not cleaning it up, on premise alone and the fact that it might make me gag. Please people... I need some ideas here. I can not follow two people around cleaning up after them. I hardly have the strength right now to clean up after myself!!

How do I get him to clean this shit up without seeming bitchy?? Trickery is fine, beating him over the head with a frying pan.... probably not so much!!

Our News

Well, for those of you who have not been following along at home... here is our news...

I am 10 weeks 2 days today and everything in gummy bear land looks good. We did not get to hear the heartbeat, but we did get to see it on the screen.

If you are interested in reading more about this pregnancy you can click here. I have yet to decide if I'm going to keep the other website up and running or not. I don't want to bore you all with continual pregnancy news here, but I don't like the format of the other site and the lack of comments, etc. So, maybe all things in moderation here? Who knows.

How to catch a horsey....

As of Sunday night, we now have 9 new members to our menagerie. 9 horses joined our pasture family. Well, if you want to get technical 5 horses, one yearling, and three babies joined our pasture... but who is counting?

And why you ask have we added these new members? Well, actually, they sort of added themselves. On Sunday night we had just gotten back from seeing the movie Cars. (Cute movie, not as cute as I expected) My sister, her fiance, Jake and I all went to see it after we had dinner at my grandpa's house for Father's Day. Jake had just left to take back my parents van that we had borrowed and I was just pulling all of the clothes out of the laundry basket to wash in the hopes of actually having something clean to wear.

I looked out my window and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a line of cars and nine tiny horses... (oh wait... wrong story!!) Out in front of my house there were nine horses running down the middle of the road and cars were backed up in both directions. Some people had gotten out of their cars, but they were basically all just standing around looking dumb founded.

Having knowledge of horses I thought maybe I should go out and attempt to help get them back to where they were going. I slipped on some sandals with my socks and ran out the door. (Knowledge of horses yes, knowledge of fashion... no...) I would come to regret those sandals SEVERAL times over the course of the next couple of hours!!

On my way out the door I called my mom to have her call the neighbor to see if they were their horses. They weren't. She then called back and told me to call the non-emergency police number. I got some woman, who wasn't quite sure that I knew what I was talking about, but assured me that she would send a police officer.

Apparently car/horse accidents are not on the top of their concern list, because it took them 20 minutes to get the officer to my house. In that time, we managed to get the horses into my back yard, where they were contained. I then asked these people to make a human line between my yard and the road to keep the horses in one spot.

First problem, never ask city people to contain horses. One of the men thought it would be a brilliant idea if we tried to put them into my pasture. So, I opened the gate to the little pasture to the south of our house. Unfortunately, the horses didn't think that was such a good idea and one of them walked, not ran... just walked towards this man and he just stepped out of her way.

It was at this point that I lost it. Once the herd saw that one had gotten through they all made a run for it.

"What are you doing?? Why didn't you stop her??"

"I didn't want to get hurt"

"Those horses kick don't they?"

"They are more afraid of you then you are of them. And they are NOT going to KICK you with their HEAD!!"

"What about that one? Can it see?"

"It's a fly mask, it has holes in it!!"

Can it see? Why would they blindfold a horse and put it in a pasture? And more importantly how was it able to run around you and not into the side of the car if it couldn't see?? It was at this point that I knew I was in trouble. I called my mom and told her that I was working with a bunch of city people and she said they were already on their way down.

By this point the horses were spooked and running straight for the four lane highway which is a half mile from my house. I yelled at some of the people to stop staring and get in their freaking cars and head them off before they got onto the highway. It was about this time that the police officer came meandering over.

He rolled down his window and all I could do was yell at him. "If you don't get up there and head them off before they hit the highway you are going to have a hell of a mess on your hands!!"

That made him put the petal to the metal a little more and so I started walking back towards my house to get my vehicle. I was almost to my driveway when Jake came driving up. Having NO idea what was going on I just jumped into the car and told him to drive!! We got up near the horses, but the people had no idea that you have to get out of your car and go around them, not next to them so I jumped out.

Luckily there is a frontage road right before the highway and they got them diverted onto the frontage road and then into a field. We grabbed some grain and went back and traded in the car for my jeep and drove into the field across the street. We could see them walking through the corn, but then they turned and headed back towards the frontage road.

We turned around and headed back towards the road and finally discovered that they had made it back into the pasture that they were supposed to be in. Unfortunately, it was about this time that I got a call from my mother telling me that they couldn't stay in that pasture and if we didn't catch them they were just going to be out again.

I guess some people had been working in the field next to the pasture and they had bulldozed down about 100 ft of fence in one section and another 25 ft in another section. So we sent Jake and two other guys down to the field to try to guard the downed fence section while we tried to calm and catch the horses in the pasture.

Finally we got them to calm down and come to us, since we had some grain. 4 of the horses had halters on, but the rest did not. Since we knew that they could not stay there I suggested that we put lead ropes on the ones that we could, block off the road, and walk them to my pasture. Unfortunately, the police officers were not horse people and they were worried that they would not stay together.

In a horse group if you lead one, the rest will follow. But we couldn't get them convinced of that. Finally we called my dad and told him to bring a livestock trailer, since the police officers were not happy with my idea. It was about this time 8:15 or so, that the caretaker finally showed up. The owner was in New York and I guess it took awhile to find the guy who was in charge of taking care of the horses.

When he got there, he told us that the horses did not like the trailer and they would not load. So we called my dad back, canceled the trailer, and were left with my original plan. Block off the street and lead them down the road to my house. It worked well. The ones who did not have lead ropes ventured a little, but we had people on the sides of the road to block off entrances to fields, etc. so they pretty much went with the others.

Our only other possible problem was that Jack and Sadie were outside in the pen and were sure to bark and possibly scare the horses. So, my mom ran ahead and made them go inside. I still have no idea how she managed to get them inside without them running out towards the horses, but she did. After that, they lead right into the pasture.

The care taker brought them a water tank, and told me he would come every day to feed them. Since the people doing the construction work did not have permission to tear out the fence, nor did they tell anyone they were doing it, we are unsure of how long the horses will be at our house. The pasture that they are in is not very large, but if they are supplemented with grain and possibly hay they could be there for awhile.

Other website

For those of you following along at home, I have posted some new musings on the other website. For those of you not following along, I will fill you in by the end of the week, so your wait is not long now.

Still here

We're still here. Sorry, I didn't mean to leave you with such a bummer post and then not return for a week!! Things here have just been busy. Work is crazy and I had my review yesterday so I was trying to "look" busy all week. You know... the two weeks out of the year where you have to look your best!!

Anyhow, I really don't have anything new to post about, so I thought I would send you over to some of my internet friends. They've all had some great news in the past week, and they are probably much more interesting than me right now!! :-)

Anyhow, go visit Cecily, City Girl, & Beth. Well... what are you sticking around here for? Nothing to see here... get going!!

I'll be back next week... hopefully with something MUCH more interesting to say!!

When it Rains... it Pours...

I tried to post this several times yesterday but blogger was up and down... so it was written yesterday... posting today...


So, where do I even begin?

Last week I found out that my husband has, once again, been laid off. Only this time, since it is his own doing we do not get unemployment. No, he did not get fired, and he did not quit. Someone, who should be taken out into the street and publicly flogged, let him drive a company vehicle.

For any of you who have ever had the misfortune of riding with Jake or even being behind him, or in front of him... hell anywhere near him on any road I would like to publicly apologize. He is, without a doubt, one of the worst drivers I've ever seen. He has gotten MARGIONALLY better in the past few months, but it is a slim margin.

Anyhow, he was backing this vehicle up and apparently was not watching where he was going. (Perhaps talking on the cell phone, trying to adjust the radio, looking for something under the passenger seat. You laugh, but I have seen him do all of these things while driving forward, why not reverse) I have not gotten the whole story, it's like pulling teeth with him, but he either hit something or the side mirror hit something. Either way, it is considered an accident. AND standard company procedure is that when any employee is in an accident they are automatically put on unpaid leave while the accident is investigated and drug tests are done, yadda, yadda, yadda.

So... this whole process has taken a few days. It happened on a Friday afternoon so of course you have to wait until Monday and then appointments have to be made and paperwork has to be filed... you get the point. So, LUCKILY he was able to go work for his dad this week so we at least have SOME source of income while they get the paperwork shuffle done and hopefully he will be back there on Monday.

Which brings me to the next in a long line of things for this week. Yesterday, while working for his father, Jake took a trailer to be loaded with tile and some other things. The people loaded the trailer incorrectly. Instead of distributing the weight evenly (It's an enclosed two wheel trailer) they put all of the weight in the back.

You can see where this is going can't you? While pulling on to the on ramp going 30 mph (we have a witness to this so I know he wasn't speeding) the trailer started to swerve and weave. Instead of just letting off the gas and coasting to a stop Jake hit the breaks. He knows now that this was a bad idea. A VERY bad idea.

Since all the weight was in the back of the trailer the front was sort of lifted up off the ball that was hooked to his truck. So when he went to stop; the truck stopped, but the trailer didn't. Instead it got worse. It whipped to the side and the vehicle and trailer jackknifed. When it whipped back, luckily the trailer came off the ball of the truck because it rolled end over end into the ditch. If it would not have come unhooked it would have taken Jake's jeep with it.

Now before you get too excited, his jeep did not escape unscathed. In the whipping back and forth process it ripped off the bumper of his jeep and bent the axle. He claims the frame is still straight, but the rear end (??) will need to be replaced as well as some other innards. I know nothing about vehicles so bare with me here.

Since the witness says that Jake was not speeding he was not given any tickets. Well, that is not entirely true. The insurance card he had in his wallet expired January 7, 2006 and his new insurance card was somewhere in his vehicle among all the things that had been jostled around. Either way, he couldn't find it. So, the officer, being the lovely guy that he is, issued Jake a ticket for failing to have proof of insurance. Wasn't that pleasant of him? Nothing like giving a guy just in an accident a break huh?

This ticket, issued to us by our wonderful highway patrolman, is for $690.00. No, that is not a misprint. SIX-HUNDRED AND NINTY F***** Dollars!! Now of course, since we have insurance, and we can prove it all we have to pay is $30 worth of court costs. But we do have to take one more day out of our lives to go to the court house on July 7th and show them this insurance card.

But wait, it gets better. Oh how you ask... just trust me. This accident happened at 1:00 in the afternoon. By 4:00 when I talked to Jake he had still not mentioned it to me. He and his dad had decided that they would tell me when I was done with work because they didn't want to upset me when there was nothing I could do. A noble idea except for the fact that he called the insurance people to report the accident and MY NAME is the one on the policy.

So, at 5:00 they called me to ask about the accident. LUCKILY, and I use that term lightly, I was in my bosses office finding out some more bad news so I didn't answer the phone and once Jake found out that they called me first before they called him his dad thought it a better idea to call me and tell me rather than let me listen to the message. Always considerate aren't they?

Oh wait, before I finish, here is the one... and ONLY piece of good news... we don't have to pay the deductible to have the jeep fixed. Since the company loaded the trailer incorrectly our insurance company is going to try to make them pay for it. Although, with my luck it will probably still come back to us... but I'm trying to find the silver lining here people!!

Now, back to the rest of the news. Yesterday afternoon, when I wasn't answering my phone, I was in my bosses office discussing a co-worker who they had just fired. Now you have to understand, in my company job security is almost guaranteed. They NEVER fire anyone. They normally give them a little raise and then hope that is enough of a push to make them look for something new.

When someone gets fired, it sort of sends people into a frenzy. Luckily this guy was really not all that upset about it. He didn't really want to be here and his performance had shown it. I can't really say more... you know that whole not talking about your work on the internet thing.

SO... today, I have decided the duck and cover method is the one for me. I will only leave my desk when absolutely necessary and will only drive places that are necessary. Like at 4:00 I must go to the mall to get my hair cut. Yes, this is a necessity. I also must look for clothes while I am at this mall as I have two pairs of pants that fit me. Five days in a week, two pairs of pants... doesn't quite add up does it?

Beyond that, all I can do is cross my fingers and pray to make it to the weekend. However, in case you were wondering, the hair cut will be the standard cut with my usual stylist. No highlights, or changes for me. I wouldn't want to tempt fate!!

When it Rains... it Pours

So, where do I even begin?

Last week I found out that my husband has, once again, been laid off. Only this time, since it is his own doing we do not get unemployment. No, he did not get fired, and he did not quit. Someone, who should be taken out into the street and publicly flogged, let him drive a company vehicle.

For any of you who have ever had the misfortune of riding with Jake or even being behind him, or in front of him... hell anywhere near him on any road I would like to publicly apologize. He is, without a doubt, one of the worst drivers I've ever seen. He has gotten MARGIONALLY better in the past few months, but it is a slim margin.

Anyhow, he was backing this vehicle up and apparently was not watching where he was going. (Perhaps talking on the cell phone, trying to adjust the radio, looking for something under the passenger seat. You laugh, but I have seen him do all of these things while driving forward, why not reverse) I have not gotten the whole story, it's like pulling teeth with him, but he either hit something or the side mirror hit something. Either way, it is considered an accident. AND standard company procedure is that when any employee is in an accident they are automatically put on unpaid leave while the accident is investigated and drug tests are done, yadda, yadda, yadda.

So... this whole process has taken a few days. It happened on a Friday afternoon so of course you have to wait until Monday and then appointments have to be made and paperwork has to be filed... you get the point. So, LUCKILY he was able to go work for his dad this week so we at least have SOME source of income while they get the paperwork shuffle done and hopefully he will be back there on Monday.

Which brings me to the next in a long line of things for this week. Yesterday, while working for his father, Jake took a trailer to be loaded with tile and some other things. The people loaded the trailer incorrectly. Instead of distributing the weight evenly (It's an enclosed two wheel trailer) they put all of the weight in the back.

You can see where this is going can't you? While pulling on to the on ramp going 30 mph (we have a witness to this so I know he wasn't speeding) the trailer started to swerve and weave. Instead of just letting off the gas and coasting to a stop Jake hit the breaks. He knows now that this was a bad idea. A VERY bad idea.

Since all the weight was in the back of the trailer the front was sort of lifted up off the ball that was hooked to his truck. So when he went to stop; the truck stopped, but the trailer didn't. Instead it got worse. It whipped to the side and the vehicle and trailer jackknifed. When it whipped back, luckily the trailer came off the ball of the truck because it rolled end over end into the ditch. If it would not have come unhooked it would have taken Jake's jeep with it.

Now before you get too excited, his jeep did not escape unscathed. In the whipping back and forth process it ripped off the bumper of his jeep and bent the axle. He claims the frame is still straight, but the rear end (??) will need to be replaced as well as some other innards. I know nothing about vehicles so bare with me here.

Since the witness says that Jake was not speeding he was not given any tickets. Well, that is not entirely true. The insurance card he had in his wallet expired January 7, 2006 and his new insurance card was somewhere in his vehicle among all the things that had been jostled around. Either way, he couldn't find it. So, the officer, being the lovely guy that he is, issued Jake a ticket for failing to have proof of insurance. Wasn't that pleasant of him? Nothing like giving a guy just in an accident a break huh?

This ticket, issued to us by our wonderful highway patrolman, is for $690.00. No, that is not a misprint. SIX-HUNDRED AND NINTY F***** Dollars!! Now of course, since we have insurance, and we can prove it all we have to pay is $30 worth of court costs. But we do have to take one more day out of our lives to go to the court house on July 7th and show them this insurance card.

But wait, it gets better. Oh how you ask... just trust me. This accident happened at 1:00 in the afternoon. By 4:00 when I talked to Jake he had still not mentioned it to me. He and his dad had decided that they would tell me when I was done with work because they didn't want to upset me when there was nothing I could do. A noble idea except for the fact that he called the insurance people to report the accident and MY NAME is the one on the policy.

So, at 5:00 they called me to ask about the accident. LUCKILY, and I use that term lightly, I was in my bosses office finding out some more bad news so I didn't answer the phone and once Jake found out that they called me first before they called him his dad thought it a better idea to call me and tell me rather than let me listen to the message. Always considerate aren't they?

Oh wait, before I finish, here is the one... and ONLY piece of good news... we don't have to pay the deductible to have the jeep fixed. Since the company loaded the trailer incorrectly our insurance company is going to try to make them pay for it. Although, with my luck it will probably still come back to us... but I'm trying to find the silver lining here people!!

Now, back to the rest of the news. Yesterday afternoon, when I wasn't answering my phone, I was in my bosses office discussing a co-worker who they had just fired. Now you have to understand, in my company job security is almost guaranteed. They NEVER fire anyone. They normally give them a little raise and then hope that is enough of a push to make them look for something new.

When someone gets fired, it sort of sends people into a frenzy. Luckily this guy was really not all that upset about it. He didn't really want to be here and his performance had shown it. I can't really say more... you know that whole not talking about your work on the internet thing.

SO... today, I have decided the duck and cover method is the one for me. I will only leave my desk when absolutely necessary and will only drive places that are necessary. Like at 4:00 I must go to the mall to get my hair cut. Yes, this is a necessity. I also must look for clothes while I am at this mall as I have two pairs of pants that fit me. Five days in a week, two pairs of pants... doesn't quite add up does it?

Beyond that, all I can do is cross my fingers and pray to make it to the weekend. However, in case you were wondering, the hair cut will be the standard cut with my usual stylist. No highlights, or changes for me. I wouldn't want to tempt fate!!

After 10 trips your 11th is Free

This is an update to the previous post so if you haven't read it yet go there first. Well... go on... I'll wait....

Back now? Good... moving on...

I just got a phone call from Danette. Apparently last night Emma wiped out on her bike and now has a black eye and a 3 inch scrape on her back. Luckily she was wearing her helmet because she cracked the front of the helmet (but not her head).

So, we are officially changing the suggesting to a child punch card instead of just a boy punch card. Luckily because of the helmet they did not have to visit the emergency room, although when they went to get Bryce's stitches out today she still had to tell everyone what happened and show them her battle wounds.

Think she wants just a little bit of the attention her brother has been receiving since Friday??

Dinner, Dancing, & a Trip to the Emergency Room

So on Friday...

Yes I know, I'm a little late in posting this. However, I figured today would be a perfect day to do it. I want to take every advantage of this 06/06/06 date you know!! Besides, I've been busy, what with the sleeping, and the eating, and the laundry.

Oh, the laundry.

No, I have not dug myself out yet. Yes, the underwear I'm wearing are clean. So is the shirt. The rest... well it looks clean damn it. And I'm trying here... I never claimed to be Suzy homemaker or anything!!

Do you want to hear this story or not?

Fine!! AS I WAS SAYING...

On Friday Danette, Matt, Jake and I (and the two kidlets) decided that it would be nice to go out to dinner. So we called ahead to this restaurant so that could wait at home, instead of there. Hoping to avoid as many tantrums and meltdowns as possible. You know how impatient my husband can be!! ;-)

When we arrive we were seated right away. The wait was not too long for our food and while we were waiting Emma got to dance with the waitress. See in this restaurant when Cotton Eyed Joe comes on all of the waiters and waitresses dance. Emma LOVES to dance so this was a big deal to her.

After we were all done eating Danette decided to take the kids outside to walk around while we waited on our bill. Jake went into the bathroom so it was just Matt & I sitting at the table. I was digging in my purse when I heard him exclaim oh shit and jump up from the table. I didn't think anything of it. I just thought that he didn't have the card and he had to go get it from Danette outside.

The next thing I know they both come back from the area of the bathroom and Danette is holding Bryce and they are both covered in blood. This can not be good!! We jump up quickly and check out as fast as they can run the cards through the machine. Jake is out in the car with the kids when Danette comes in to get ice for Bryce's head.

Unfortunately the manager of this particular establishment was more concerned with her liability than with the child's well being. She made Danette stand inside for almost five minutes and give her a detailed account of what happened and how he was hurt so she could write it all down.

Finally we made it out to the car to examine the damage. The cut had stopped bleeding by this point so we were able to get a pretty good look at it. Apparently he had been walking on the sidewalk and had tripped, possibly on a rock, and had fallen into a pipe that was protruding out of the ground. The gash on his head was not huge, maybe a quarter to half an inch. However, since it was on his face and since it was somewhat deep the decision was made to take him to the emergency room.

On the way Danette made the comment that she had just finished paying off his last emergency room visit. (He had the croop.) It was then that we decided that if you have a boy you should receive a punch card when he is born. After the 10th trip to the emergency room the 11th is free!! With as many times as that kid face plants off of things or trips and smacks his head she could have that card filled up in no time!!

Once we got to the emergency room it was around 8:30. At 11:00 we finally got to leave. Yes, that's right... it took them 2 1/2 hours to put three stitches in his head!! It only took them 15 minutes or so to take him into the back, so the remaining time was spent with Jake and I, in the lobby trying to entertain Emma.

Let's just say they went on SEVERAL walks while I sat there hoping that every time the door opened it would be them. Bryce is handling his stitches like a trooper though. To prove that he was perfectly fine he decided to fall into the trash can in the van on Saturday and give himself a nice bruise on his cheek. Then later in the day he thought it would be delightful if he fell on the deck and smashed the back of his head and then fell one more time just for good measure.

I'm telling you, that punch card could really come in handy!!

Laundry, Laundry Everywhere

But not a thing to wear!!

Once again last night I choose being a bum over actually getting off the couch and doing anything. How many times can you use the sniff test on an outfit before it is deemed un-wearable? Actually, I've only got about 3 more pairs of underwear left, and I do draw the line there so I think I may have to break down and do something tonight.

Cross your fingers for me that there is nothing too enthralling on TV tonight. I mean last night there was the gameshow marathon, and Dateline's to Catch a predator on at the same time so I flipped back and forth. No time to leave the room when you have to keep flipping the channel.

Did any of you watch either of those? The to catch a predator I had seen before, well not that episode but another one. There are some pretty sick men on there, like the one next week (it's a rerun from two weeks ago) who strips down as soon as he walks in and has brought some cool whip for this 14 year old to do something with a cat. It took me awhile, but I think I have it figured out now. I just had to dig into that deep, dark recess of my mind. YUCK!!

Anyhow, the gameshow marathon was much more light hearted. It made me laugh to see all of these rich celebrities trying to price every day items. There was one woman (I don't remember her name but I know she played the mom in Rat Race) and they asked her if she did the grocery shopping in her house. Yeah right. These people probably haven't been in a grocery store in YEARS!!

Then came Deal or No Deal which you know, I had to watch because this INCREDIBLY FLAMING man in a pink shirt cried no less than three times during this show. Really, sat down on the stage and cried, and then hyperventelated, and then cried some more. So you know, I couldn't just leave the living room to do laundry because what if he fell over and hit his head and I missed it?

Of course after all of that excitement I was just SOO wiped out that I decided I just had to go to bed. I wouldn't have wanted to over extend myself!!

Maybe tonight... then again I do have three more days.....

The Decay of Western Society

Or at least of me... according to my sister.

I spent all weekend with my sister. She is just finishing up her first year of medical school and consequently is at the stage where she is pretty convinced that she knows everything. To say it is annoying is an understatement. A BIG understatement.

Look, I know that eating Burger King is probably not all that good for me. But hell... it tastes pretty good!! I DO NOT... however, need to spend all weekend being lectured about how the trans fat in the french fries that I love so much is going to damage my brain cells. Or about how if I become pregnant it will damage my baby because it is not broken up by my body and will therefore travel through the placenta and cause irreparable damage to an unborn child.

When I got to work yesterday, she had sent me some medical articles stating that trans fat MAY compromise fetal development. Not that it will, just that more studies need to be done. Isn't it funny how to a first year medical student MAY is the same as IS? For now, I think I will continue to enjoy my once a week or once every other week indulgence. Get back to me when MAY turns into DOES.

Case of the Mondays

Ah crap... it's Tuesday.

Well, I guess that means I just need to go home and start again tomorrow. You think my boss will understand? Yeah, neither do I.

So, our weekend, in a nutshell, busy. On Saturday my aunt got married so we attended her wedding. It was outdoors in the 90 degree heat so it was a little warm. One of the grooms sons (this was a second marriage for both of them) didn't realize that in that kind of heat it is better to eat something than to not, so he ended up sitting down towards the end of the ceremony.

After the ceremony we headed over to the house of one of my Aunt's friends. She lives in a VERY ritzy neighborhood. I think you could fit our house into hers twice. We had two long tables in her sitting/living room area for people to sit and then one table in the kitchen. I think there were around 30 people there and we all sat comfortably.

In my house I think I can sit 10 - 15 if we crowd and a few more if we make them go to the living room and sit. After that we all headed down stairs where she has a pool table and a couple of game tables (Card type games I think... I know NOTHING about these things!!)

Sunday found me in the car for an hour and a half with some other relatives to go visit my cousin for his graduation. And where was my wonderful husband you ask? At home on the couch. On Saturday he told me he had no desire to go and wanted to just stay home. So Sunday morning I didn't even bother to wake him. Of course when I got home Sunday night and told him he missed a good time his excuse was well I told you I would go but you didn't get me up. Very easy to say that after the fact!!

Yesterday was supposed to be my day to finally get caught up on laundry from our vacation and get things picked up around the house. You notice I say supposed to? Yeah, I basically surfed the internet, watched old movies, and took a nap. Very productive don't you think?

Driving

Dearest Driver on the Interstate:

Feel free to drive the speed limit. I get it, it is your right as a law abiding citizen (and heaven knows someone has to obey those laws). Feel free to drive the speed limit on every road to every destination that you choose.

Put PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, and for my mental sanity, do it in the RIGHT hand lane!!

Sincerely,

Your friend, the one in your rear view mirror (look back see... I'm waving and I'm even trying to use all my fingers) slowly pulling out her hair as I follow you and attempt, without success, to pass!!

New Website

Hey everyone!! No worries, I'm going to keep this website up and running. I am just starting a new one for a few months. We've got some things going on in our lives that we don't want to share with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. So, we've decided that since we have lurkers we don't know who could just stumble upon this website.

If you would like to have the address of the new site e-mail me using the link on the right or this e-mail address hamiltonfamilycircus [at] yahoo [dot] com.

Watched

Do you ever feel as if you are being stared at in your sleep?

As if every move you make is being tracked so that in case you awake and attempt to make a run for the door without filling the food dishes you can be promptly tackled and eaten alive, lest the natives starve?

Yeah, neither do I

WOW!!

I just read a post from another blogger that I just had to share with you. I have been on the fence for a long time about what we would do in regards to spanking when we have children. I was spanked, and I lived. However, I have never felt that it is really the best form of punishment.

This blog post offers some incite into some other ways to discipline a child without resorting to physical punishment. Part of the article is written by the blog owner and part by another blogger who runs a daycare business and has used these techniques successfully not only with her own children but also with her day care children.

I liked this article so much, in fact, I printed it off and am going to take it home for Jake to read. (Or more like I will probably read it to him while he's making dinner.) But in any case, whatever position you take, I thought it was a well written (although admittedly LONG) post with some good ideas that I think I will be trying when we have our children.

I'm back!

Just wanted to put up a quick post to let you all know that we made it back safely and in one piece. The trip was very relaxing and just what I needed after dealing with all of these doctors visits and homestudies over the last few months.

I didn't take as many pictures as I figured I would as there was too much shopping and napping to be done. However, I will write a bit about it after I dig out from all the stuff that was awaiting me when I arrived at work!!

Also, I will be attempting to get caught up on everyone's blogs from the last week or so, so forgive me if I'm a little out of the loop for awhile!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Okay, well actually I already left. I'm writing this from Jake's aunt Kim's house in TN. From what I can tell the next time I may have internet will be next Friday evening. I've been told that Tybee Island, GA is still civilization, but with an in that doesn't have an internet connection for guests to use, I'm starting to doubt it. :-)

So, dear internet people... I will return next week. Try not to post anything in my absence or I will NEVER get caught up on all of your lives!! ;-)

WWPM Award

Okay, I am the WWPM!! (World's Worst Pet Mom) What did I do you ask? What could possibly earn me this title? I left my boy outside all night, by himself.... and I didn't even look for him!! In fact I had no idea he was out there until 5:30 this morning when I went to let the dogs out and there was a cat on the back step.

"That cat looks a lot like... OH MY GOD that's LEX!!"

My poor baby!! He was SO traumatized!! He came right in and had to eat half a bowl of cat food just to recover. So let me give you a little background on how this happened.

Last night when I got home from getting the suitcases for our upcoming vacation I noticed that the dogs were still outside in the pen. I was irritated because it was 7:30 and I knew that Jake had been home since 4:30 and could have damn well let them in himself. (But that's a rant for another day!!)

When I went over to the pen and opened the gate Jack took off towards the trees. I, being naive, thought that he was going in there after a stray cat or even worse a opossum or a raccoon, so I yelled at him to get over here and he came out of the "woods." Looking back I now know that my scared little boy had heard his mommy's voice and had ventured out of his hiding spot to show me, "Mom, I'm outside and I'm not supposed to be." only to be chased back into hiding by the dog.

Once I got to our back porch I noticed that the back door was open but being annoyed by the dogs and preoccupied with all I had to do to get ready for the trip I thought nothing of it. I just figured that Jake had not closed it tightly and when the dogs hit it with their head it opened. So, I went about my evening routine, got something to eat, and went upstairs and watched a movie. Never realizing that my poor boy was outside scared and alone.

That is of course until 5:30 this morning. I feel just awful, and I am SOO thankful that he did not get out onto the road. If you remember, this is not the first time this has happened. It is, however, the first time that his mom didn't come looking for him. Maybe next time the door is left open he will think twice before venturing into the big bad outdoors, either that or I'll have to sell the husband for leaving the door open.

Work Lurkers

I was just recently informed that some people from my work have found my blog and have read it. Now for the most part I don't really care. I have never been to secretive about the fact that I have a blog and if they would have just asked I probably would have told them the address. I think the part that I find weird is that they are reading about my life and I didn't know it.

I learned early on from Dooce not to post anything about work so I think I'm fairly covered there. It does, however, make me re-think what I'm posting about our fertility issues. For instance, should I find out (by some freak chance) that I actually got pregnant, I'm not sure at what stage I would feel comfortable posting about it. I would want to at least be able to tell my boss before I become the center of office gossip!!

So, how many of you have found out later that you know some of your lurkers?

Horsey Names

**UPDATED WITH PICTURES**

Okay.. today we are going to play name that baby horse. Right now the name that is in the lead is Brooke's Gold (see post below) but we are still open to suggestions.














Here's what you have to work with....

He was born on May 2nd (my birthday)
My name is Heather Brooke
His mom's name is Missy Babe
His dad's name is Wild Gold














Your prize if you have the winning name? The joy of knowing a race horse has a name you picked. (I know.. kind of lame huh? What'd you want a cookie?)

So... what are your suggestions oh wonderful internet people?

Birthday Surprise

Yesterday was my birthday. I don't say this to illicit belated birthday wishes, although they are more than welcome. I say this as a segue into why I took an entire day off in the middle of the week to go shopping. Yes you read that right, the girl who hates shopping actually volunteered to go. Although it was only for two hours, so I didn't feel too overwhelmed.

Anyhow, my friend Danette and I dropped her oldest off at preschool and then we went to Wal-mart and Target. At Target I proceeded to try on about 30 items. Really, the women behind the counter were laughing at me!! I ended up buying three swimsuits, and now I'm thinking to myself, what in the WORLD do I need THREE swimsuits for. I think I may take one back. Buyers remorse, it's a killer.

After shopping (can you really call it shopping if it was just Wal-mart and Target?) we picked up Emma and I headed out to meet Jake and his Grandma for lunch. His mom is waitressing at a restaurant so we went there for lunch. It was kind of surreal having her as our waitress as I'm not sure I've ever been out to eat at a place where I knew the waitress on such a personal level.

After lunch I went back to Danette's and we went on a walk around her neighborhood because it was B-E-utiful outside yesterday, and really, if I hope to fit into those swimming suits I need to walk!! When we got back Emma was sitting on the couch and Matt told us that she had cut her foot on the deck but wouldn't let him bandage it up.

Upon closer inspection we noticed that she had not cut her foot, but had instead gotten the biggest splinter I had ever seen in my life. Seriously, this thing was like and inch to an inch and a half long and her feet are not that big!! I would have cried like a baby if I had a splinter like that!! Matt & Danette tried to get it out but Emma was screaming like they were trying to kill her and writhing all around on the couch, so they ended up taking her to the doctor to have him take it out.

After I left their house Jake and I went to my parents house for yet another meal out. (These new clothes are not looking promising...) After dinner we came home and I think we were both asleep before 10:00. This getting old is hell!!

Anyhow, this morning at 6:45 am my mom called to tell me that her colt had been born on my birthday. Apparently they had to pull him and he was born around 11:50 just barely making him my birthday bandit. In honor of that fact his name is now Brooke's Gold since my middle name is Brooke and his dad's name had the word Gold in it.

I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty nice birthday surprise!!

Fond Memories

I saw a post over on Denice's site that started me thinking about this and so I thought rather than take up her valuable comment space I would just blog about it here. The issue that I am talking about is memories. Well, rather odd memory triggers.

Her friend Yna was talking about how much she dislikes the commercials for Viagra. For me, however, these commercials always make me laugh because they make me think of my grandma. I know that sounds strange but let me explain before you all go to your blogs to tell everyone not to read mine anymore because I'm some sort of pervert.

You see, my grandma was forever humored by these commercials. Not even the commercials really, but the disclaimer at the end. She found great amusement in the fact that at the end of every commercial for Viagra, Levitra, etc. it states see your doctor if your erection lasts more than 4 hours.

I can't even count the number of times that she said to me, "You know every time I go to the doctors office I look around for that man hunched over waiting to see the doctor after his four hours," and then she would laugh and laugh. The fact that my grandma was 80 years old and about 5'3" and 80 lbs only makes it seem more ironic to have it coming out of her mouth. She had been widowed for over 30 years when she passed away and as far as I know she had never even dated another man. So as far as I was concerned she never even THOUGHT about this topic,

However, without fail at every gathering we had where the TV was on she would mention it. I now find myself unconsciously looking around the waiting room for that one man sitting in the corner alone all hunched over. It is my strange way of never forgetting my grandma and all that she went through in her life.

So tell me, what strange memory triggers do you have? I can't be the only wierd one out there.....

Plot Foiled

Okay, I'm going to post something totally un-related to us to try to take my mind off the fact that it is day 19 and I STILL have not ovulated. Apparently my ovaries are attempting to be that minute percentage that don't ovulate consistently while on the same dose of Clomid. FUN times.

Oh, and also to take my mind off the fact that Jake's doctor can not get him in for a physical until the 8th of May so we probably won't be able to even start our 30 to 60 day wait for state approval until May 15th or so.

Okay... I'm not doing a very good job of distracting myself... on to other topics....

On Wednesday night my friend called me to tell me that someone had stolen her credit card. Well rather her credit card number. Lucky for her they were dumb criminals, as most criminals tend to be, and they did not know that to use a credit card without the ACTUAL card you also need the expiration date.

So, imagine her surprise when she went to pay for her shopping purchases and was told her card had been declined. Imagine her further surprise when she called the company and was told that someone had tried to charge numerous amounts on-line to her card but had gotten the expiration date incorrect. So, they hadn't actually charged anything, but the card had been shut off until the matter could be sorted out. (As a side note, don't you think a call front he credit card company would have been appropriate here instead of them just waiting for her to use it and then call them? I don't know, maybe it's just me.)

Anyhow, while on the phone with the credit card people they tell her that to cancel the card and have a new number issued her husband would have to call in, because he is the primary card holder. Yeah... problem. First of all, her husband does not pay the bills nor does he use the card so he has no idea which charges are real and which ones are not. Secondly, and most importantly she had used that card to buy him a super secret surprise birthday present.

Let me give you a little background information. In September her husband will be thirty. For as long as she has known him he has been a sports NUT. One of his favorite teams is the St. Louis Cardinals. So, while looking at games on-line she notices that they have a game on his birthday. She starts rolling this idea around in her brain and formulates a plan. She will buy tickets to this game in secret and surprise him.

Her master plan is to call his boss and request the day off for him. Then that morning as he's getting ready for work she will drop the bomb on him. No, you are not going to work today, I have your bag packed get in the car and let's go. She figures by the time they start heading towards St. Louis he will figure out where they are going, but by then she will still get to see the look of pure joy on his face.

So, flash back to the credit card lady. Jess tries to politely explain that her husband can not call in because he does not know about these tickets and obviously he will notice a $500 charge for tickets to a Cardinals game. The credit card lady, undeterred, explains that there is no way that she can cancel the card without the primary card holders authorization.

This is when Jess looses it. She begins to explain to the credit card lady, this time in a not so subtle way, that she will not allow her husband to call in unless she has this woman's guarantee that they will only go over the charges from ONE billing cycle. If they only go over the charges from the previous bill her husband will not see the ticket charge. However, if they go back any further he will most definitely find out and ruin her entire master plan. Finally the lady agrees.

She lies...

Jess's husband calls the company and at first they just go over the previous bill. Then somewhere in the process they decide that they will help him log on to the internet to view the bill on-line so he can see the charges as the woman on the phone is reading them to him. And this is where the bottom falls out of Jess's master plan.

At first he tries to play dumb, like he didn't see anything, but he slips up when he tells her, "Yeah and then we went back to the bill from February." Jess begins to, pardon my language, freak the f*ck out!! So her husband, still trying to play dumb attempts to cover his tracks. Well you see, I saw a charge for tickets, but I don't know what they are for.

In the end, it all comes pouring out. He knows what game and when he looks that game up on-line he will also know what date. So, by the time I hear this story at 8:30 on Wednesday night Jess is just devastated. She had worked so hard to try to plan this big surprise for him and it was all ruined. In her eyes the entire weekend would not be the same. I think one of the the worst parts for her was that her husband didn't understand what the big deal was. As far as he was concerned this was still and AWESOME present. I tried to explain to her that he would still be just as excited to go to the game, but it was to no avail.

So my questions to you lovely readers: Have you ever planed a big surprise, only to have it ruined? How did you deal with it? Any encouraging but we still had a great time stories would be great. Jess could really use the cheering up and me... well I'd just like to hear the stories to keep my mind busy!! :-)

Perspective

"I don't get it. What's the point?"

"What the commercial?"

"Yeah."

"Well it's a commercial for Vonage. It's saying that people do stupid things, like trying to go through a spinny door in a big red lobster costume. It's supposed to be funny."

"A spinny door?"

"Yeah, a spinny door."

Once I have composed myself and stopped laughing...

"Well when you put it that way, I guess it is pretty damn hilarious."

"I told you."

April Showers...

Somehow, I don't think the SNOW showers that we are currently having are what the inventor of this little rhyme had in mind!!

You know I distinctly remember the weather man saying last night, there will be light snow showers in South Dakota, but here we will just see rain.

Apparently, he lies....

50/50

Those are our odds of passing this home study. Slightly better than him laughing in our face, but not by leaps and bounds. So... now we wait. Well, that's not entirely true, Jake has to get a drug evaluation (to prove he's still clean and sober) and we both have to get physicals. Then he has to get a couple of reference letters and we have to fill out this big long form about the things on his record and how he has changed his life and why we should be approved, etc., etc.

Then we stuff that all into and envelope and send it off to the state. Then we wait. In 30 to 60 days, (hopefully by July) we will have our answer from the state. If we are approved then we can have the rest of the home study finished in a couple of weeks.

If we aren't (and let's face it there is a 50% chance of that...) then we keep going down the road we are going. If we don't get pregnant in another couple of years we can apply to the state again, since there will have been more time gone by with no incidents, and wait again.

For now, I'm going to try not to think about it and instead take it one day at a time. Today is day 14 of this Clomid cycle so with any luck I will ovulate soon, only hopefully without the pain of last month, and then we will... that's right... wait some more. I'm sensing a trend here, and all that keeps running through my head is a line from Rat Race

It's a race, it's a race... oh I hope I win...

Cleaning

The back porch... it is a beautiful site to behold. Jake cleaned it all by him self last night, which I think is a pretty fair trade off considering I have to do all 10 loads of laundry, clean the upstairs and pick up after him in the kitchen. (But that's another rant for another day...)

My big question for the day is what is it about men that makes them think they deserve a metal for doing mundane tasks that we take for granted? The porch is my example of the day. As soon as he was done I told him how nice it looked and I thanked him for cleaning it. (If a little praise is all it takes, I will gladly dish it out.) However, apparently a little praise, is not nearly enough.

I'm pretty sure my husband wants a plaque, a parade, and maybe a little pink poodle on a key chain.* He has reminded me at least 5 times that the back porch looks SOO nice and clean. Each time I have said, yes honey, it is very nice. Thank you for doing it.

I wish I could get that much praise for the things I do every day. Oh look honey, I unloaded the dishwasher. Don't the dishes look so nice and sparkling?


* For those of you who don't get this reference it's from one of my favorite movies, Double Jeopardy. It's a line in the end when they find out she's innocent.

Lions and Tigers and Home Studies??

Oh S#@$!!

Yesterday called the agency which was recommended by our agency to do an Iowa home study. They, in turn, referred me to an independent man who is a certified adoption investigator. Sounds all important doesn't it? So, I called this man to set up our home study. Imagine my surprise when out of his mouth pops, "How does Saturday morning work for you?"

Gulp.... "Saturday, oh sure that should work just fine." commence the extreme freakout!! I am just REALLY glad that Danette came and cleaned on Tuesday. I only had her do the downstairs, it was that messy, but the upstairs shouldn't take me too long.

That said, I'm still not calm about the whole process. I called Jake in a panic yesterday afternoon. "You have to mow the lawn right now. If you can't do it than have your friend come over because it looks like we are total rednecks and they are not going to give a baby to the redneck family that will loose their child in the grass in the front yard. I don't care if we have to pay him I just need it done NOW!!

I then proceeded to leave work early because on top of that I have to:

Do the laundry

Clean the dishes that don't "fit" in the dishwasher

Clean the back porch (after all that is his first impression of our house)

Dust and clean the upstairs

Figure out how to make it not smell like cat pee in that one corner of our bedroom that the cat peed in when he decided for a week that he didn't like his litterbox. A whole bottle of Urine Gone has not seemed to do the trick...

And then spend the rest of my two days COMPLETELY freaking out about Jake's record and what is on it and what will they say and thinking of every possible question that they could ask and making sure I have a well thought out appropriate answer that doesn't make me look like a total redneck because heaven knows my lawn is doing a good enough job of that.

Do you think I should go to Lowe's and get some flowers for our flower beds? Do empty flower beds show that we don't care about our house? Does not caring about our house show that we won't properly care for a child?

Sigh... breathe in and out....

I think I need some chocolate.......

Should I feel a sense of loss?

Last weekend, okay since it's Tuesday I guess it was two weekends ago, Jake and I were faced with a tough choice. In every infertile's life there comes this moment, about ever 28 - 35 days. The moment where you come to a fork in the road. You either continue with your treatments or you stop and decide to do something different.

Jake and I have decided to diverge from the well beaten path, much sooner than most people in our position. However, as you may remember from this post, this is not something new to us. Adoption is something that Jake and I have been talking about for as long as I can remember and it is something that I myself have been talking about even longer than that.

When we started out on this TTC (trying to conceive) journey we always said that we would not want to do IVF. We always said that we would adopt and in every case we were faced with people who just didn't understand. Once you try to have your own children (FYI: this is a term VERY often used by those outside of the adoption world, however, if you think about it for a moment you will understand why it is not a correct term. Won't any child we have be our "own" child?) they would tell us, you will feel differently.

Well, we've said it once, and we will say it again our feelings have not changed. We only have about four more months to get pregnant before we will give up and let God decide the rest. We are going to continue with the non-evasive treatments, however we have decided not to go further than that. We will take the Clomid for another 3 months, my doctor says I can only be on it for 6 months total. We will also have Jake tested and have the intrauterine dye test done. More for our own curiosity at this point than anything else. After that, if we chose to continue, the next step would be injectibles and beyond. And that, my friends, is the step we are not willing to take.

With injectibles, comes the risk of multiple births. Then you walk that line of do we carry the pregnancy to term and pray or do we selectively reduce. If we would choose to carry and I lost the pregnancy the emotional toll would be substantial. No less than the guilt I feel I would carry with me if I carried and gave birth to children with severe handicaps. If we choose to reduce than that carries with it a whole other set of worries. First and foremost, how do you choose? How much guilt would I be faced with when my child/children were born knowing that they had siblings that I chose to destroy? This is not a position that we ever want to put ourselves in. For this reason, injectibles are not an option for us.

Another reason would be that our insurance does not cover infertility treatments. So, we see no need to put ourselves through the emotional, physical, and financial woes that come with IVF or other evasive fertility treatments. This is a path which has been walked by many before us and can offer us no guarantees. Neither one of us feels the strong pull for a biological child. We are both very comfortable and confident that we will love our children no matter where they come from.

Today, I contacted the adoption agency that we have chosen to get the ball rolling. Since their fee is non-refundable we have decided to take things slowly. We will have a home study done along with finishing with the path we are on. The home study is our greatest source of concern right now. As most of you know, Jake was not a model young adult. So, before we go paying a large, non-refundable fee to an agency, we want to make sure that we can make it through the home study. The last thing we need is to get more emotionally and financially vested in this option and then have something he did when he was 18 come back and bite us in the ass.

Assuming that we pass the homestudy and sign with an agency we will not turn back from there. Many people have asked us, what happens when you get pregnant in the middle of the adoption process. Our answer, then we have two children. Since we see no difference in biological vs. adopted children we would see no reason to stop the process simply because our family would be larger than expected.

As for some other commonly asked questions:

Don't you feel like you will be missing something by not being pregnant?

No, not really. I do not have that pull like some women do to be pregnant. I want a child, I don't care if I give birth to him/her or not. Anytime I have imagined my life with a family there has always just been a child. I've never really had pregnancy dreams or that huge drive to give birth. To be honest with you that whole idea sort of scares the shit out of me.

Do you feel a sense of loss for not having a biological child?

Should I? I guess that answers that question, huh? The Friday before we made our adoption decision I had a dream. In my dream I was in an orphanage. It was somewhere in a Spanish speaking country and there were adoptive parents and children all around. None of the children came to us, however. Then finally over came a little girl and we just connected.

From the moment I woke up from that dream all I felt was peace. When Jake and I have talked about this adoption, peace. When I started my period on Monday after making this decision, peace. When I think about trying to conceive, anxiety like I have never felt before. I have spent the last eight months in a fog and have only just now emerged.

I suppose when you are in it, you can not see past it. However, looking back I realize that I have been very depressed over these last eight months. Trying to conceive was something we did because it was the route to take. It was what everyone expected of us, but I'm not sure it was ever really in my heart. Who knows, maybe my depression has caused us to be unable to get pregnant. Maybe I'm depressed because I can't get pregnant. We could go a whole round of which came first.

The point is, when I think about adoption none of that anxiety is there. I have been the happiest this last week that I have been in months!! I am a realist, and I know that we need to make it through this home study before we start painting any nurseries, but that doesn't change my level of enthusiasm. I feel about this, like many feel when trying to conceive. If we don't do it I will always feel like what if. I don't feel that way about IVF, I feel that way about adoption.

That said, I think I've rambled enough for one post. Feel free to leave any comments or questions that you have for me. I know that people have a lot of questions about this process and our decision and I am open to fielding any of them. If you want to e-mail them to me because you feel stupid asking or you don't want your name associated with them, feel free. I will post the answers in a later post (without your name of course).

Hello Internet!!

Hello?? Is anyone still out there or have you all given up on me!! It has been a CRAZY 2 weeks, filled with 140 hours at the office, and not much of anything else!! Today, however that will all come to a screeching halt!! YEAH!!

The post office in Des Moines has decided that this year, instead of staying open until midnight, they are closing their doors at 8:30 pm. If people aren't done by then, I guess it is tough luck to them. My day, however, will be ending much sooner. By 5:00 or 5:30 the entire office will be empty, except for one shareholder who will be frantically trying to extend his own return having 3 1/2 hours less to do it in, and we will all be off to our after tax party.

Last year the 15th fell on a Friday so the after tax party was one giant party for employees and spouses. Since it is on a Monday this year, I'm anticipating it will be a little calmer. Either way, I will probably be ready to go to bed by 9:00. My plan for tomorrow, sleep. Then maybe some sleep, and after that... oh yeah, more sleep. Somewhere in there, I also need to get caught up on about 30 blogs, and tell you about our recent happenings!!

I should be back tomorrow or Wednesday. Enjoy your tax day, I know I will!!

Lack of Justice

I will be MIA for a few more days. Until the 17th or 18th to be exact. But then, tax season will be over, and we have some exciting things to discuss. (No, I'm NOT pregnant, we have established that!!)

Until then, I just had to post something about this.

Killer Eligible For Parole When She Is 49

49?? This woman should NEVER be eligible for parole!! They should lock her away and NEVER let her see the light of day again!! Where is the justice here??

Charting

Here's why I love charting:

You know when you've ovulated. With out a doubt, there is a curve that goes above your baseline and poof... you've ovulated. None of this guessing or waiting around for progesterone results. You also know approximately how good your progesterone level is by how high your temperature goes. So, hearing that I had a good level last week, was not entirely a surprise since I knew my temps were .3 degrees higher than last month.

Now, here's why I hate charting:

You know when your cycle is a bust. You can tell when your temperatures start to fall, as mine did this morning, that the end is near. Before I was charting I could convince myself that the cramps I was feeling could be from pregnancy. After all many people report period like cramps right before they test positive for pregnancy. However, when you are charting you do not get those two extra days of maybe. I know that the twinges I'm getting in my uterus are not from a baby burrowing in for a nice long stay. They are from aunt flow, speeding down the road, knocking over mailboxes and old ladies in her rush to whip into my driveway and ring the bell. I'm back... did you miss me??

11 1/2

That's right. ELEVEN AND ONE HALF DAYS until I am a free woman!! Woo Hoo!! Yes, I am counting half a day. It is sort of like when you are a little kid and someone asks you how old you are. It is never the year... you count every day, and unfortunately this year my wait is two days longer. Damn weekend!!

Working 9 to 5....or not!

A friend of mine wanted to put a post on this site. They wanted to write about this on their blog, but since it is work related were unsure whether it was appropriate. So... I told them they could vent their frustruations here. (Since it is now 13 days to the end of tax season and I'm running VERY short on material!)

So, without further ado....

So, we are actively trying to hire for an open position at my place of employment. I have had several applications and resumes slide across my workspace in the past week and a half, but none that compare to the one that surfaced on my desk today.

How not to fill out an application….

Honesty is a great virtue to have in a potential employee, that is why I have found a candidate who displays this quality to it’s fullest potential: has written bad checks, various times may I add, been caught carrying a weapon, would that be a concealed weapon....and forgery by association, not quite sure on that one, I am still stuck on the weapon thing.

The candidate later states he/she has worked at a fast food chain for 5 months but had to quit because “The hassle trying to work around my injured knee”. Did I mention that our open position involves some labor?

She/he is educated though; she/he went to three highschools and four colleges where she/he proceeded to get C’s and D’s. Educationally cultured or should I say challenged?

Oh, and I have finally arrived to the references section of the application. The first reference is a lawyer that the applicant has known for 20 years. Hope that is not a sign of how long she/he was forging checks with a concealed weapon. The second reference works at a competitor of ours.Do you suppose her/his rehabilitation has begun yet?

When Paper Towels Attack....

After a discussion with the perpetrator....

we discovered that the paper towels did, in fact, throw the first punch. Making this a classic case of self defense. In light of that new evidence, no charges will be filed.

Progesterone

I just got my progesterone level back from the lab. 19.8!! YEAH!! So much better than last month's disappointing results!!

Cross your fingers for me will ya?? One more week before I can test. It's going to be a LONG week!!

Sudden Passing

My friend Danette called me yesterday to tell me that her uncle had passed away suddenly in his sleep. Her parents and her and the kids all headed to Ohio yesterday. Matt, her husband, called me yesterday afternoon to say that not only did one uncle pass, but the other uncle just got diagnosed with prostate cancer and the biopsy site is infected and so he may not get to attend his own brother's funeral.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers as they try to deal with the sudden loss of one family member and the sickness of another.